HAPPY FRIDAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY THEME SONGS: 2 CHAINZ, Twerkathon OH-13, and DIPLO!

It's FRIDAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! I don't know about you but I'm ready for the weekend and am counting down the hours, minutes, and seconds until it begins. I think this may be the only week I've ever done a straight 5 days of theme songs so I hope y'all are enjoying the music I've been digging up. 

I'm not sure if you've noticed yet, but I've been trying to make this series of posts a little more in-depth in the hopes it becomes a source for my readers to discover both new and old songs that are different, obscure, and noteworthy and appreciate the artists who make them.

Anyway, I've got TONS of good stuff for y'all today to get you in the mood so let's get to it...

First up, you know it.. The 2 CHAINZ Song of the Day. This song is brand spankin' new and won't be officially released until September 16th. It's called "Talk Dirty" by Jason Derulo featuring 2 CHAINZ!

Also, it's time for today's installment of Twerkathon OH-13... Yesterday in my post Happy Thursday Theme Songs YaY! I highlighted a crucial issue that needs to be brought out of the closet and into the light... Twerking Addiction. 

Ask yourself these questions... Do you dry hump everything and everyone around you? Do you suffer from lower back pain due to constant arching? Are there footprints on every wall of your home? If the answers to those questions are "Yes" then you may have a problem with twerking.

I found this video showing just how detrimental twerkaholism can be to yourself and your loved ones. Remember, it's a serious disease and there is no cure. (Side note: Totally want that Ratchet beanie so make it happen please and thank you!)...

You probably know what song is coming next...

And this classic twerking anthem by Uncle Luke because Miami Bass is the super shit. Don't stop get it get it...

Also, here is another video with a twerking tutorial. This one is for the fellas because, yes, you too can learn how to twerk...

And thanks to this iSekC dude and his video I discovered my new super jam of the century by Kstylis called Booty Me Down...

I also discovered this gem yesterday by DIPLO featuring Nicky Da B and it is off the freaking chain... 

For those of you who don't know about DIPLO he is an American DJ and producer named Wesley Pentz originally from Mississippi. He is the man behind that disgustingly sick, wicked, AMAZING curtain we call MAJOR LAZER. Now y'all know from my post back in June called OH MAH GOD! I Fucking Love Major Lazer! that I fucking LOVE me some Major Lazer. 

His music is super crucial and he's also ridiculously hot... like I mean RIDICULOUSLY HOT...

Ummmm yeah, for real, I would definitely be a raging CSW for that and turn every wall in my house into a twerk wall. DIPLO if you're out there somewhere reading this and you're single, holler at your girl. 

Here is another track I'm diggin on by DIPLO and Dillon Francis featuring Maluca called Que Que...

And finally, this song called Set It Off by DIPLO featuring Laserdisk Party Sex is proper too... WARNING: The video is for mature audiences only and should not be viewed at work, around children, the elderly or those with high blood pressure as it may cause heart attack or stroke.

BOOM!

Happy Thursday Theme Songs YAY!

It's Friday Eve Folks! Just one more day and we are home free 2 whole days before we start this endless worker bee rat race cycle all over again. Anyway, if you're already gearing up for your weekend then I got you...

First up is, of course, the 2 CHAINZ song of the day! This one is dedicated to my next installment of More Adventures in Dating the Douchebags of PoF coming up later...

Next, you know we have to keep Twerkathon OH-13 going... I've been getting an awesome response to this little segment and some readers have offered up suggestions that just might take this thing to a whole nother level.

The past couple days we've been delving into some instructional videos for the twerk-challenged or what I'm dubbing "Booty Bounce Beginners". Here are some more songs for you to practice your new found shaking skills. These have some instructions...

Huey's Pop, Lock, and Drop It shows you have twerking can be coordinated into an actual dance everyone can do...

Also, I'm sure you've heard this one from French Montana on the radio recently...

But, today I'd like to focus on a serious issue that plagues many a twerking veteran... Ass Shaking Addiction. Here is a cautionary tale about 2 young girls named Chuchi and Beba... 

For those of you out there who are all too familiar with this affliction, it's OK. We will get through this together. I'm forming a support group called Twerkaholics Anonymous. 

Hello, my name is Niki Slik and I am a jiggle junkie. I can't stop twerking. I'm actually doing it right now. So turn off that Taylor Swift crap and turn up that Sissy Nobby!

 

Now for those of you who are like, "That's cool but where's the DnB at?!" I've got something for you too... It's all about some Chase and Status today. Here are some of my faves...

Hello and welcome to Music Club!

Also Smash TV with the Guns n Roses Welcome to the Jungle sample... Just FYI BTW, this song makes an awesome alarm...

and finally a song I heard yesterday on Slacker that I'm really diggin called End Credits...

BOOM!

Happy HumP Day Theme Songs: 2 CHAINZ, Twerkathon OH-13, and More Fresh DnB

Happy HumP Day My People! We have managed to survive half the week so YaY for us! Here are your theme songs for the day...

First up is the 2CHAINZ Song of the Day... This song is called G.O.O.D. Morning and I just happened to stumble across it this morning. For those of you who don't understand my massive LOVE for 2 CHAINZ, songs like this are why. It makes you pull your hair and mush your face and go OH MAH GOD this is SOOOOOOOO G.O.O.D.!!!!

Next up is today's installment of Twerkation OH-13...

Just in case yesterday's instructional video wasn't enough for you, I found this one for those of you who are severely twerked challenged. Be forewarned though that this C-Jeezy dude is a bit of a hot mess and his instructional methods are slightly avant-garde. I'm pretty sure the guy in this is the same one crying to "Leave Brittney alone!" right after Ms. Spears' Blackout album was released and her trainwreck performance at the MTV VMA's of Gimme More.

Anyway, this is considered "advanced twerking" so you can learn the professional ish. Just don't forget to eat some ramen noodles and pretzel dips to get your booty right, put on a pair of pajama pants.. and above all DO NOT FORGET YO DRANK!

 

I do agree on finding a twerking song with instructions so here is the one C-Jeezy used in the video. Put this one while you practice in front of that mirror guuuurrrrrrlll! It's called Twerk by a chick named Lady and it's actually a pretty hot song.

And for those of you who want to get into crazy advanced twerking, I suggest watching Nicki Minaj. She was rated by Fuse as the #1 celebrity twerker. This song by Nicki Minaj and Ciara is for the ladies...

Now as promised, let's get into some fresh DnB that I found just for you...

This one is so brand spankin' new it's technically not even out yet apparently and you can only preorder it. It's Koncept's - Breathe In and it got posted to the Viper Recordings Sound Cloud Profile 6 days ago and YouTube today. I <3 it which is saying a lot.

Also, I found this Maduk Remix of Thrift Shop by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis that is pretty decent. It definitely makes that song relevant again... which is good if you like the original and bad if you hated it. I personally started out liking it and then began hating it as it got overplayed.

Finally, this track is kinda liquidy but definitely catchy. I'll probably have it stuck in my head now for the rest of the day. It's Control by Matrix & Futurebound featuring Max Marshall...

BOOM!

Miss Slik Would Be a Slutty CSW for the Head of Rothchild...

Just in case you didn't know, my new little crush is Jake Komara aka Reed Rothchild. I had some very lovely chats with him whilst discussing Stalker Neil and I've been feeling all 12 year old Tiger Beat Teenybopper ever since... especially because I managed to confirm that he is single. Game fucking on...

And cue Marvin Gaye as I attempt to publicly put the moves on Jake via the interwebz...

You know what I love about this picture? He's so relaxed in this "Come hither girl" sort of pose.. You know what they say about DJ's right? They're good with their hands. 

It's actually this pic of him grilling the CDJ that did it for me though. I really do need a towel to wipe my leg every time I look at it...

I'd let him scoop me in a hearse too. It's different... very Adam's Family meets rap video since it's white... Could be hot in a semi-morbid way to get it on in one... provided there were no coffins with actual corpses in the back of course.

This one is also very scrumptious. I'm diggin the gun tattoos. Obviously as a gun owner I tend to dig gun-related things.. except crime because that is bad. (Correction: I was informed the morning of 8/21/13 by my Facebook friend Alan that those are actually bacon tattoos. I like that better because I heart bacon. It adds to Jake's scrumptiousness factor.)

He changed his hairstyle recently and now he looks sort of like Eminem. For some reason though the Real Slim Shady still does it for me in a major way. 

Sadly, he ended his blog HOR a couple weeks ago. I have invited him to guest on my blog though any time he feels the inclination to write again. Hopefully he will take me up on it. In the meantime, let's see if this post gets him to come down to Virginia. 

He's got a thing for Uncle Julio's Rio Grande. Y'all know Mexican food is my jam and I moved to this location 5 years ago specifically because of its proximity to Rio Grande in psychic anticipation of this situation. I'm trying to get him to take me out for some pork tamales. It needs to happen. 

Happy Tuesday Theme Songs: 2 CHAINZ, Twerkathon, and Dope DnB!

Hope y'all are enjoying this lovely day. Whether you're super busy or super bored, here are some songs to get you through the rest of your day...

First up, it's the 2 CHAINZ song of the day. This one is off his mixtape from 2011, T.R.U. Religion and it's called Undastatement... You'll need a towel to wipe your leg... Pronto!

Also, we are keeping Twerkathon OH-13 going as promised yesterday in Happy Monday Theme Songs For Your House Party Hangover. Why? Because it just needs to happen.

But whahappins if you don't know how to twerk? It's OK, I got you. I found this awesome instructional video for those of you out there who are twerk-challenged...

Now that we've got our twerking down.. back to the music... Today is more Ying Yang Twins. Raise your hand if you know this one...

And this one I'm mad into by Busta Rhymes and Nicki Minaj...

I'm also all about some crucial Drum and Bass today...

Lately I've been getting mad into Noisia. This track is pretty brand spankin' new. It's I Am Legion which is Noisia and a hip hop group called Foreign Beggars and it's called Dust Descends.

 

Also found this one that came out a few weeks ago called Hyenas and it's a collaboration between Noisia, Calyx, and Tee Bee...

But what got me all on Noisia lately is actually a much older track. It's entirely possible I like the track purely because I like the dude who says "Diplodocus" several times throughout it. For those who don't know, a Diplodocus is a dinosaur that had a very long neck and looked quite similar to the Apatosaurus.

Here is the original:

And here is the Upbeats Remix which I also like:

Finally, as you learned from my post 8 Whole Weeks of Being Smoke Free, My Theme Song, and Super Slik Stop Smoking Campaign, I have a huge thing for The Prodigy because they are AWESOME... It would appear Noisia agrees with me. This remix is dope!

BOOM!

Keep Your Property of HOR Stickers Off Miss Slik's Bitches

So as I mentioned previously in Happy Monday Theme Songs For Your House Party Hangover! I attended a house party this weekend for my boy Max's birthday. Shout outs, Birthday wishes, and also many thanks for hospitality go out to Maximus Decimus Awesomus. 

Now let this be a lesson to you NEVER to fall asleep at any events which I am attending because I CAN AND WILL FUCK WITH YOU. This dude fell asleep in the basement so I decorated him with Christmas lights because I felt like he did not look quite festive enough...

I then posed with my handiwork in true scandalous booty ho fashion as everyone pulled out their cellphones and flashes went off in the dark like I was surrounded by paparazzi. I got tons of high fives for the rest of the night.

Well, I stepped back and began taking pictures whilst admiring my unsuspecting victim when someone had the nerve to put a Property of HOR sticker on him. 

*GASP* What an outrage?!? Hold up, wait a minute! In the words of Honey Boo Boo, you better redneckognize!

I said "Do I look like Jake Komara to you dude?!? I'll thank you to get that HOR sticker off my victim. He is Miss Slik's Bitch not Property of HOR!" He laughed and took the sticker off. 

Now y'all know I heart me some Jake Komara. He is my favorite little piece of scrumptious hotness and teen dream TigerBeat fantasy. 

However... From henceforth the distinction must be made that if I'm the one putting Christmas lights on a person and doing mean things to them for my own personal amusement whilst they sleep then their ass is mine. They have officially been claimed as royal property of my Queendom and not that of the Republic. I guess I will have to invest in stickers of my own so people will know just who is responsible. But until then, get it right or become blog fodder.

This has been a royal decree courtesy of H.R.M. Queen of Fairfax Miss Niki Slik. YaY for me! Woe to the Republic.

Happy Monday Theme Songs For Your House Party Hangover!

Happy Monday My People! This is for everyone who went hard in the muthafuckin p-p-p-paint over the weekend that is now like "OH. MAH. GOD Whahappin? Why the F am I not in my bed right now?"

First off, we need to get in the 2 CHAINZ song of the day... This morning I was watching the Today Show while I was getting ready for work and they had a segment on how to make a good first impression. One of the people they were interviewing said something about how you should try to be like other people and mimic their behavior because people get very bristley when you're different.

Soooooo basically, in order to be accepted by people you don't know you should pretend to be someone your not and become a sheepish little lemming. 2 words: 1) Fuck and 2) That.. FUCK THAT! Folks, don't ever dim your shine for anyone. If they don't like the outgoing, dynamic, unique individual you are then you don't need them in your life. I'm dealing with a similar situation at the moment with the Karaoke Drama Crew. God forbid you ever rock a title belt or a crown on your head and rep what you do around this group of people. They will not see it as a positive thing and you will be called conceited. Well, I think they can sit on it and rotate because like 2 CHAINZ said "I'm different!"

Next, people keep asking what I think of Kendrick Lamar because he's all up in the mix with 2 CHAINZ and A$ap Rocky but I don't really post much about him. I had a very interesting discussion with my boy Rob One last week and he asked what I thought about Kendrick calling himself the King of New York while Rakim, KRS One, and other Hip Hop legends were still alive and performing.

My response was this, Kendrick Lamar is relevant to everybody right now especially the kids. Rakim, KRS One, De La Soul and the rest of the old school heads are only relevant to people like us older folks and serious hip hop fans. So sure, I'll agree. He is the King of New York.. for now. He's a solid MC with mad skills. I personally just don't care for all the sound clips that make his songs like 20 minutes long when the music part is only like 3 minutes long.

There are a couple interesting articles I found though. One was written last week called Best/worst of 2013, so far: Kendrick Lamar puts the rap game (and N.Y.) on notice that goes into the situation about Kendrick calling himself the King of NY and how he outrapped Big Sean on his own song. The second one is from today called Nas Comments on Kendrick Lamar's "King of New York" Declaration and Nas says he has nothing but love for Kendrick and isn't really disputing it. So there you go.

Here is the song he went buck on...

and here is the song I'm loving at the moment by Kendrick Lamar because I secretly hope my proverbial dick gets big as the Eiffel Tower so I could fuck the world for 72 hours... Where are my dominos?!?!

OK, so over the weekend I went to a house partay for my friend Max's birthday. The next few songs are dedicated to him and the party. It was pretty off the chain and we had an installment of Twerkathon OH-13 out on his patio for most of the night. We should keep Twerkathon going in a big way for the rest of the year. So to kick it off on the internet, here is a theme song from the Kings of Twerk, the Ying Yang Twins...

Next, I now have some bruises and scratches thanks to this song and a dude from the other night who was a little too drunk for the Twerkathon. I was perhaps a little too drunk for it at that point too but it's all good. Anyway, what would it be without Travis Porter?

And finally, because I like to throw a little something in here for everybody, this song is one that I'm seriously all about because I woke up to it Saturday morning. It was a ringtone I downloaded for my alarms and it is probably the best song ever to wake up to...

BOOM!

Happy Friday Theme Songs Dedicated to a Hopefully Hater-Free Weekend!

Happy Friday to you all... It's been quite a week. It seems like people just can't seem to help themselves. Between Stalker Neil and the Karaoke Drama Crew, quite frankly I'm spent. Here are some theme songs dedicated to them...

First, my first name must be She Ain't Shit because every time they see me they say "She ain't shit." I'll be dat. I'll be dat. I'll be dat... People seem to be doing an awful lot of talking about me lately and then telling me I'm not important. If I'm not important then why am I dominating your conversations so much? "Oh Niki and her dumb little blog. Nobody reads that crap." OK, you keep thinking that while I serve you up as fodder for my readers who just can't get enough of reading about how much of a douchebag you are. 

Quite frankly, if you have a problem with me you can say it to my face but it loses credibility with each passing day that you don't and instead choose to act like chickenheads. Dem Franchise Boyz say it way better than I can because I can't hear you.

However, I think Jill Scott expresses my emotions more poetically in such a melodic and thoughtful way...

My tolerance levels of people's BS douchebaggery have dropped to an all-time low. Hence why the format of this blog seems to have shifted from reviews on protein bars to publicly putting people in their place without prejudice. Say that 5 times fast. Mystikal can.

Also, I've had this song stuck in my head for several days now. Some people are definitely not keeping it 100... In fact, I don't even think they're keeping it 50 much these days. Maybe they should refrain from claiming that and singing this song at karaoke.

BOOM!

Happy HumP Day Theme Songs!

It's been a minute since my last post. I've been dealing with things and living my life because that is how I find things to write about that you might actually find entertaining and/or interesting. Anyway, theme songs for today...

It's hump day and today I'm feeling semi-ratchet so let's get to this...

First up is a joint by DMV's own Wale. I was listening to iHeart Radio a couple weeks ago and this song came on. It's the jam.

The next one is by Ca$h Out. I heard it this morning while I was getting ready for work. It makes me want to wobble and do 3 point stands...

 

This one by Travis Porter also makes me want to wobble and do 3 point stands. Of course, everything Travis Porter pretty much makes you feel like you should be stripping for tips while somebody makes it rain...

Now y'all know I love me some 2 CHAINZ! This song he did with Michael Posner sort of takes me back because I guess I used to be that girl. I wouldn't call myself a "DJ Ho" persay. Others used to call me that but it's rather inaccurate. I preferred to think of myself more as a "DJ Special Friend Who Had A LOT Of Intelligent and Interesting Conversations". But once I became a DJ myself, neither term applied anymore because then it's just 2 DJ's getting it on. If anything, I'd have been a CSW trying to use them to get famous. However, as discussed in Who the Fuck is this Bottom-Feeding Losery Stalker Groupie Douche?!? I didn't take full advantage of those situations perhaps they way I should have. Anyway, the song...

Finally, this next song by Jay-Z and Justin Timberlake actually resonates with me in my lust for fame with my barely existent DJ career and also with this tiny, obscure blog. Fame and Celebrity are such a ellusive, fickle hookers that you wish you could buy but are lucky if you're able to rent...

BOOM! Stay tuned. Who knows what the day might bring?



More Fun with Neil the Losery Stalker... A War of Internet Mediums

Seems like our good friend Neil just can't help himself today... As mentioned in my previous post Fun with Neil the Losery Stalker! Neil threatened to blow me up on his radio show... which he made good on... sort of.. I think I'm supposed to be this Viki Slick person he talks about even though it's not my name. Though it is very hard to tell through all the heavy mouth-breathing like psychopaths do on the phone... I feel like he should be doing the voices of Simpsons characters at the comic book shop.

It's called Elektron Radio - Taking out the trash on Viki Slick and all I can say is I got served yo... Again, Leslie Chow jacking off dice rolling hand gestures... One of my favorite parts was when he said I looked like a man and a drag queen. Neil, drag queens are fabulous and maybe the reason you're not quite sure what a woman looks like is because no woman has ever wanted to touch you in your special place.. probably because they couldn't find it. 

Oh, another priceless part was the throwback shout out to Larry Ho when he said he didn't want to end up back in jail with rapists and murderers... Let's not forget psycho stalkers who harass young, attractive women at their places of employment. Those fuckers end up in prison too... Though somehow I have a feeling you're headed for a psych ward instead.

I also loved the part where he said no one was reading my blog and I "look like a goddamn fool"... Now first, you should not take the Lord's name in vain Neil! Second, I have to give credit where credit is due. Jake Komara aka Reed Rothchild, you are the fucking man and you rock and I heart you for being awesome! I honestly can't thank you enough for sharing my articles and getting my obscure little blog noticed by people who are now reading it and liking it. It honestly is overwhelming. This is a massive part of why you have become my favorite person/Tigerbeat crush of the week and endeared yourself to me.

Neil also unblocked me on Facebook so he could tag me in the post...

Not sure which part annoys me more... Him spelling my name wrong or calling me a bitch because of his mistake. All I could think was "Oh No he didn't!"

I at least let him know say my name fat fuck boy. Get it right!

Also, I noticed when he unblocked me he had posted a status update about HOR and Jake that I got a slight kick out of...

I've got news for you Neil. Jake and HOR are not writing anything about you anymore. I am! You started this shit because you felt the need to stalk my DJ profile and be a dumbass fucktard since you have way too much time on your hands and are batshit fucking crazy... and you just keep going and putting yourself out there and embarrassing yourself more. That's why you're a target. Stop getting so fucking hyper and try chilling out. You should've replaced meth with weed... though that would not help your weight problem. My suggestion would be quaaludes if they still existed.

Does the URL of my blog say Head of Rothchild? No, it does not. All Jake is doing is passing along info, pics, sharing my posts, laughing at your psychotic behavior and stupidity, sending me backup screenshots, and actually defending himself because you keep attacking him and blaming him for things that he did not do. 

However, I will say that Neil, you are still, and always will be Property of HOR. I'm just renting you for a few days for my own amusement and entertainment like I would a movie or a bouncy castle. After that you go back.