I just left a job that I was at for the majority of my adult working life. I got hired there as a bright-eyed, emerald green AF, wet behind the ears 24 year old girl... So full of all the world's hopes and dreams and excitement.. Then the place I worked at for 11 and a half years systematically killed all that. Now I'm a jaded, run down, disillusioned woman on the wrong side of my mid-30's... But with experience working for a large nonprofit.
I feel like Pam from The Office when she has to find a new job because Jim wants to relocate to Pittsburgh or Philly or wherever they ended up moving. Remember that scene where she shows her resume and it's tiny because she's only ever worked 2 jobs in her life and they were both for Dunder Mifflin? Yeah, that's kinda me and where I'm at.
My resume definitely has a bit more to it though. I have my education section about my 2 degrees, a BA from GMU and an Associate's from NVCC, both with solid GPA's and some academic accomplishments. Plus I also took almost every course in the Harvard Management Mentor Series and did well on those too.
Then I've got my Employment History... Obviously my nonprofit day job is first.. Then I've got my blog writing stuff because it's relevant to the type of jobs I'm looking for now. After that is my NM550 Productions stuff when I did all those Miss Slik's DJ Dance Party events.. which is relevant too because it was an actual business I actually started and ran with employees I had to pay.. A business that I made enough money from I had to file proper tax return forms and whatnot. So it's actually legit experience that shows I'm creative and entrepreneurial and know how to handle a staff of people that I hired, trained, and managed.
After that, I've got a list of all my special skills and talents and various computer things I'm proficient at using along with the link to my online portfolio I made of my writing samples. If you want to view it btw, here is my Online Portfolio.
Cindy... Y'all remember Cindy right? Yeah ya do.. She's the best and is a mommy now and doing well.. So everybody send her some love.. She's also still my personal manager of all things life-related and she gave my portfolio a big thumbs up and like 5 or 6 clapping hands emojis.. And she especially loved my profile pic.. Because she's the one who took it. But you know if Cindy approves then it must be dope as her taste is super fancy and flawless. So check it out.
Anyway, my resume is respectable and looks mad professional... and it should.. Because I had to learn how to write all different kinds of resumes for one of my Comm classes when I got that degree from GMU.. and I got A+++ on all that stuff and Dean's List because I write dope resumes. I also help people with their resumes BTW FYI.. So if you need some help with that.. And if you'd like to pay me a fee for that since I need some income right now.. Then let's chat and I'll see what I can do for you. My last client found a new job within like 2 weeks thanks to the revamping I did on her resume. I have a dope track record... Maybe this should be my new job. Idk.
But yeah.. moving on...
I also spent yesterday crafting some beautifully worded cover letters to include with my dope resume. I put in some good stuff.. Like about all the aforementioned things about me.. How I'm looking for a new career and I'm interested in said job I'm writing them about.. Plus my Mensa level abstract reasoning skills since that makes me one of the best problem solvers in the world.. which us actually true... For real.. Right here.. Me.. In the World's Top 4% of Best People at Solving Problems and Thinking Abstractly.. I have the test from the Behavioral Psychologist to prove it. You got a problem? Come to me and you won't anymore.
So I have all of that.. And I'm sending it out to people and places.. And I'm getting the confirmations that my submissions went through... And I'm all excited just knowing that I got this... And I just know these people are going to jump at my awesomeness and call me any minute now.... And.... CRICKETS.
CRICKETS.
CRICKETS.
MORE CRICKETS.
I haven't gotten like one phone call yet.
I know my phone works. I just paid the bill with what little money I have left.
WTF yo?!?! Are they shy? Maybe they're trying not to seem too eager? Playing hard to get? Why don't they want me? I don't understand.
Beyond that, I've submitted resumes to like every major staffing agency in the area and that hasn't done much for me yet either.. which is shocking.. Cause that's like the whole point of why they exist.. For people like me to be helped by them to find a new job.. Like that's how they make their money.. And I'm a good candidate for jobs.. So what's going on here?
Back in the day it was so different.. All I had to do was post my resume on Monster and apply for one job.. And then my phone would straight blow up non freaking stop with calls from recruiters. I'd have interviews lined up with said recruiters and having discussions about what I do and don't want and making decisions and turning down those bottom rung jobs while they sort out the good jobs that I really want.
But that's not happening.. I can't get the people at Robert Half to call me back.
I really don't understand.
I'm even up at 6am people.. Like early bird hunting for the worms so I can get them. I'm doing productive activities like working out on my new rowing machine (which is dope btw and I'll do a blog post on it because you need one).. and also restarting my blog... which I'd say is professionally productive.
And my post yesterday has already been read by like 30 people.. And I got a really epic fan message from a chick named Stephanie who has messaged me before.. and is probably MSG2L's #1 Fan.. So let's all show her some love for all her support she gives.
But clearly, I don't totally suck at life and 30 people care enough about me and my writing to read it when it comes at them out of the blue... And thank you to those 29 other people out there who aren't Stephanie. All the love to you too. I'll love you even more if you each tell one or 2 people you know about my blog and that they should read it.. Or even share the Facebook page posts about the articles and/or the blog on your InstaSnapTweetBooks.. Cause that would really help and be super great.
Maybe if I build up enough random buzz about myself right now then I can get the attention of these companies I'm trying to get to hire me for a day job... Viral internet sensations probably have easy times finding jobs right? Considering I'm looking for PR and Marketing jobs, it would definitely prove my capability.
So let's do this my people... I'm going to marinate on a plan to become Overnight Internet Famous and then you all are going to help make it happen by sharing it everywhere. Deal? Ok. Deal. It's on.
#SlikSquadGoals
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