Finally watched an episode of Master of the Mix on VH1 and,
of course, it had to be the one episode where they kick off the ONE freaking
chick left on the freaking show… One chick and like seven dudes… ONE! What kind of
balanced ratio is that?!? What's really funny is they actually talk about the exact thing I'm about to get into during the fucking episode. This show is an example of blatant bullshit hypocrisy.
I’m beyond tired of the music industry carrying itself like some back-ass-wards, repressed, suppressive, archaic, chauvinistic, gender-biased testosteronocracy. Treat it like other businesses out in the real world with employees you hire and pay because, NEWSFLASH, it is one… at least it is for me and other paid musicians out there. Seems like some EEOC principles and Affirmative Action with quotas and shit need to be instituted to force some diversity up in that mix. It’s long past time and people need to be getting with the program.
Apparently there were a total of five other lady DJ's on this show at the start of the season and they all got kicked off first so I'm glad I wasn't watching the show before this episode. It's Episode 6 which actually would mean that almost every DJ to get kicked off so far has been a chick. They were DJ Asha, DJ Dimepiece, DJ Exel, DJ Lisa Pittman, and Tina T. These women all boast some pretty significant accolades so I'm not sure why they all got kicked off because the dudes on there are kinda lame. However, based on what I observed while watching this show they went for DJ's with watered down commercial, mainstream appeal over nitty-gritty, down and dirty hardcore deck-wreckers so us viewers are not exactly getting a pool of the creme de la creme of America's best DJ's to begin with.
The chick that got kicked off in the most recent episoda is Tina T.. Here is here bio I pulled from VH1's Master of the Mix Cast Bio section:
Voted Best Female DJ in Las Vegas three times, DJ Tina T currently spins out of one of the most celebrated clubs in the city, the Marquee. An adrenaline junkie by nature, Tina T has performed at events such as the Mountain Dew Action Sports Tour, the SIMA Surf Summit, and the 2011 Formula One Races in Singapore. In her spare time, Tina T operates Camp Spin Off, a summer camp for teens who are interested in becoming DJs.
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Here is the episode in case you want to watch it: Master of the Mix: Half & Half. The DJ's were paired up in an EDM (Electronic Dance Music) challenge where they had to share the decks while playing a 2 minute routine. This episode annoys me quite a bit on principle because it's not a fair and accurate representation of EDM. These people are also calling themselves "EDM DJ's" and they really aren't. As a real underground EDM DJ and 13 year rave scene veteran, I can tell the difference between a Top 40 dancey pop wannabe and the genuine artifact. These people are far from the Real McCoy. Genuine EDM DJ's would not water it down with tracks like Avicii Levels. That track is a little over 2 years old. Most EDM DJ's are snobs who keep beyond current on what's new, now, and next. Most also produce their own tracks and would've snuck them in.
Now in all fairness, Tina T pulled a pussy move during her set with DJ Brian Dawe. She didn't do anything but a little bitch scratch show trick for like 2 seconds. Mostly she jumped around and turned some knobs. She let him do all the heavy lifting instead of getting in there and laying it down so she kinda deserved to get kicked off and sent home. It's rather disappointing though because if you get to an arena like this TV show how are you going to let yourself go out like a punk? Fuck that. If I'm going out it's in a fiery supreme blaze of glory or no deal.
There are a crap ton of female DJ’s who are hardcore beasts on some decks out there doing the damn thing. I know because I’m one of them! I find it extremely hard to believe that there wasn’t a rack of solid female turntablists who tried out for that show. How are they not going to have more of them representing?!? Furthermore, how are they going to kick off the select few that actually were on the show first?!?!
Little girls are at home theoretically watching and they need to see themselves represented on shows like this so they can dream their own big dreams of the future. If they don’t, then we lose out on the next generation of female DJ’s. As it is, shit like this is why little girls will aspire to be America’s Next Top Model instead of aspiring to be America’s Next Top DMC Champion.
I was once that little girl. Here are my influences:
The Club Queen DJ K-Swift, 10/19/1978-7/21/2008, may she rest in peace one love. She was a Baltimore Club pioneer and a badass DJ on Baltimore's 92Q radio station, which you may be familiar with if you watched HBO's The Wire. I used to listen to her sets every night from 9-10pm on the radio when I got out of class.
Watching this brings tears to my eyes for real...
Club Queen DJ K-Swift
and this video recorded the day before she died...
and also this...
Also Washington DC's own Sheila Storms influenced me. She's a bad ass booty house DJ and a pretty kick ass lady to hang out with. I remember how excited I got every time I saw her on a flyer and had to be there. I'd have my ass in the room from start to finish for her sets and would be straight mesmerized in awe of this woman.
Here is a pic of Sheila Storms that I snagged from her Facebook profile...
I also found this in her pics which is a flyer for the first party I actually heard her play at...
I remember the day I finally got to meet her. I was out at this Wednesday night Jungle party at this little spot down on 6th Street (I think) in Northwest DC. She was walking down a hallway and I was like "Holy Shit, Sheila Storms!" I was like a freakin giddy super fan and spent like an hour telling her how super crucial she is and how I wanted to be just like her because she was my freaking hero.
Another influence of mine is a hardcore lady turntablist, DJ Shortee of Faust & Shortee. She is straight disgusting, wikkid, sick, maniacal, and downright dangerous on two turntables. I wish I could scratch like her... key word here is "WISH". A lot of people WISH they could touch this chick's skills on some decks including dudes who've been jockin her scratch for decades.
I actually got the good fortune to meet her at the Tunnel in DC years ago. I was up on stage during her set with my eyes glued on her hands watching them fly with lightning speed and pin-point precision. After she was done I came up to her and had another super fan moment and proceeded to tell her for an hour how super crucial she is. I also gave her props for being one of the only female turntablists in existence and how I wish I could do what she does. She gave me some pointers which I actually took home and worked on.
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Shortee is the type of female DJ I'm referring to that should be representing on this Master of the Mix show. If she were on this show she'd have spun some sick EDM and destroyed these dudes like nobody's business. She'd have never just jumped around and turned knobs. She did her fair share of the work when she played sets with her tag partner Faust. He was good too but she'd hold her own and sometimes even show him up a little.
Ladies, if you want to DJ, here is what we'll call Lesson #1: Just because you have a pussy, doesn't mean you should be a pussy when it comes to being a fucking DJ. When I first started spinning I had to fight for deck time at house parties and practice tag-team hangout nights with other DJ's, most of whom were guys. It was like a pack of dogs going for a single steak. I would shank a bitch to get my time in if I had to and those dudes knew it.
Now for Lesson #2: Have perfectly honed skills and demonstrate them every chance you get in a massive way. Don't act like a dumb Baywatch bitch behind the decks and just jump around in semi-slow motion and turn some knobs and pretend like you know what you're doing and then call yourself a DJ. What you're doing is reinforcing a stereotype that all female DJ's are just all flash and no substance. You make it a million times harder for us to make any headway. Dudes can get away with half-assing their sets. Women can't. We have to be perfect, precise, on point, and a million times more polished than any dude could ever hope to be. If you're not then you will get labeled as a talentless hooker who must have fucked some big promoter or producer/DJ or at least sucked somebody's dick to get where you are. True story.
Just as an example so you have a point of reference to compare to what you witness on this Master of the Mix show, here is me during an EDM set...
Me: "Move kid. I'm fixing this needle." Dude behind me: "Oh shit! You're using those? I didn't even know people still used those. I thought they were there for decoration." Me: WOW.
Hey, get me something I need!
Why is this shit not working properly?
OK, here we go. Mix# 1.
I'm hot and sweaty.
Turn this. Tweak that.
Fade that in...
OK.. Everything is good... I think?
Get next record
Be a fucking rockstar in the lights
Make deep concentration faces
Turn these knobs to make the mix sound super cool
Boom... Drop that shit
Tweak stuff
Get another record
Mix it in
Damn it's fucking hot in here
Is this good? Why is this not doing what I want? And why the fuck is it so hot in here?!?!
Mix in another record
Sing along with this track cause it's awesome
Get another record
OK, last mix... Almost done.. Time to drop the supreme hotness and shut this MoFo down like I'm the fucking most epic DJ EVER!
NOW time to rock the fuck out to the awesome track I'm shutting shit down with... which was actually a DnB remix of Korn's Falling Away From Me.
Air Guitar Super Champion of the Fucking World!
BOOM! Awesome set done. Time to pack all this shit back up in my bag.
Here are some more pics of me spinning EDM:
My DJ Club Debut at Winter Music Conference 10 years ago
My return to DJing back in June 2009 at RIOT in Herndon after a long hiatus otherwise known as the terrible relationship I stayed in too long...
Shorty's in Baltimore for my BFF Mele's Bday Party
VA Fusion Festival down in Palmyra, VA... My hands are moving so fast the camera can't even catch them...
Do I look like I'm jumping around? Do I look like I'm just turning knobs? HELL to the NO! I ain't worried about looking pretty when I'm spinning. I'm worried about doing work and making it good.
I'm hunching and cringing like I might trainwreck....
I'm concentrating and listening to the beats of the tracks I'm playing to make sure they are on point matched up properly
I'm doing tricks while people move around me in small, confined spaces they call DJ booths
I'm carefully but quickly flipping through my records trying to figure out what track to play next
I'm putting records on
I'm putting the tone arm down where I need it to go
I'm listening
I'm checking shit
I'm adjusting the pitch
I'm paying attention to the levels of the track playing while cuing in the next track
I'm sweating my ass off and making random fucked up looking un-cute faces while my glasses slide down my nose
I'm doing work in high heels like a stylish bad ass.
I'm drinking my free drink while sweating my ass off
I'm jammin out with the people I'm playing for to the awesome tracks I'm throwing down because the point is to be charismatic and fun
You can't jump when you DJ or you run the risk of your vibrations making the needles skip which fucks up your whole set and makes you look like a dumb amateur. You should be concentrating on what you're doing because it's your job. Somebody took the time to book you to perform at their event and you need to be professional about it instead of half-assing your set. If you're an EDM DJ you only get an hour or 2 to play and you need to make the most of it. Jam pack that MoFo with supreme awesomeness and excitement like a thrill-ride at a theme park. If you don't then the attendees who paid to see you play will think you suck and you probably won't get booked again.
Fixing this situation isn't just on the people who hold the keys to the magic music industry kingdom though. It has to start with ladies out there stepping up there game. Just because you made it to the big mainstream show does not mean you can slack off and coast. It does mean you need to be a million times more cognizant of what you are doing and take special care not to act like a dumb, talentless hooker who reinforces those stereotypes. Remember that women need to bring it a bajillion times harder than any man because we get judged by a much harsher standard. Our sets get nit-picked and broken down like we're under the most extreme microscope in existence. One slip and you're done. It isn't fair but it's just the way things are.
So the moral of the story is: Take pride in your craft ladies and don't let them catch you slippin. And also, fuck that Master of the Mix show because it's wack and your time could be better spent watching something way better.
This has been a PSA courtesy of H.R.M. Queen of Fairfax Miss
Niki Slik. Woe to the fucking republic! *Drops mic and steps off of soapbox*
