Happy Throwdowns and Throwbacks Thoroughly Twerked Out Thursday Theme Songs!

Happy Friday Eve everybody! We've almost survived the week so YAY for us! Today is one gigantic installment of Twerkathon OH-13 because that's what I'm feeling. So I've thoroughly twerked this MoFo out with tons of new and old jams I dug up just for you. So, let's make like this is a bubble and get it poppin...

First up, you know it.. The 2 CHAINZ Song of the Day! I'm still waiting for more leaks from the new album. But in the meantime, here is Trampoline by Tinie Tempah featuring 2 CHAINZ! 

Now before we go any further, I have to tell you that today's theme songs were inspired by my bestie Jeannie and our Tuesday Night Twerkfest in her kitchen. The following videos are courtesy of her... All I have to say is your shopping excursions at Walmart will NEVER be the same...

Part One:

Wait! It gets better! Part 2:

If you follow me on My Twitter or you've "Liked" the Miss Slik's Guide Facebook Page then that should explain the posts from the other night. (Click those links if you don't FYI BTW because you should be following and "liking".)

Also, thanks to all the twerking videos we watched I found a couple more songs I'm diggin that are a little slower and great for practicing in front of that mirror gurrrrrlllll!!!

And also...

Now, Jeannie and I tore through Diplo's Sound Cloud Profile the other night because I was hellbent on finding the 2 tracks of his I liked that were playing in the background of the Instagram video submissions he posted. I did not find them. Somebody please let that man know he should post the names of the songs in the captions to make it easier because that should not be quite this difficult.

Also, while you're at it, tell him he needs to lay off the Perculator bubble pops because they are in a giant rack of his tracks... You just can't beat the original.

However, I did find the 2 CHAINZ Song of the Day and also these 2 songs I like...

The DMV's own Wale featuring Travis Porter - One Eyed Kitten

And also Travis Porter - Wobble

Just in case you haven't noticed yet, I have a minor obsession with Travis Porter. He doesn't know. If he did then the restraining order would be pending (just kidding).

Now, I would like to share something personal with y'all... My own story of how I became acquainted with booty bouncing...

For those who don't know, I'm originally from Tampa, Florida and lived there until I was almost 13. Down there they start school the 3rd week of August so they had a rule that you have to turn 5 by the end of August to start Kindergarten. Well, my birthday is September 5th so I missed that cut-off and my parents had to put me in a montessori school to get around it.

The student age range was Kindergarten up to like middle or high school and I always wanted to hang out with all the older kids. Every day they'd have the boom box blaring and they'd dance. I love to dance. So I tried to go dance with them and they told me I couldn't because I sucked. Well, never one to accept defeat, I went home and I practiced like it was my job. I even enlisted the help of the teenage girls who babysat me at the time. One day I came back and busted out my best Paula Abdul body roll and they were like "OH! Look at Niki!"

Hold up.. Gotta take it there...

I became their little mascot after that and I had never been so proud. That's the moment when you look over at the kids your own age who made fun of you for wearing hi-tops with twirly skirts and told you that you had to be Irma every time they played Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles just because you didn't have red hair and stick out your tongue and be all like "Suck it babies! Turtle Power THAT bitches!"

A few years later, I had to switch to public school because my parents couldn't afford to keep me in montessori school any longer. That's when I became a latchkey kid and I watched MTV like it was my job thanks to my babysitters getting me hooked on it. My parents never really censored me that much anyway so I pretty much watched whatever I wanted. One of my favorite shows was a dance show called The Grind. The Spring Break editions were how I got introduced to songs like this one...

 

One day I came home from school and turned on the TV. I must have ended up on The Box (cyber high five if you know about that). This video came on and shocked me...

Some of those chicks were wearing thongs and stuff and dancing in ways that they just did not show on the muh-F-ing Grind. It was over after that. I may have gotten in trouble for calling into The Box to request that song a few times.

Like I said I grew up in Florida so come Summertime all your old jeans become cut-off shorts. Mine became Daisy Dukes...

Also, of course I learned the Tootsee Roll...

And that's about when I got introduced to a man named Sir Mix-A-Lot and this song became my theme song. Bear in mind, while most girls were getting boobs, I was busy growing a booty... No lie... Here..

 I've had this mofo since I was 10 years old. Just took me some years to make the connection from the rap songs to real life and figure out why all the boys kept staring at it. True story.

And of course that is around the time I discovered my love of Uncle Luke. Last one is for Jeannie...

Don't stop get it get it... BOOM!

Happy Tuesday Theme Songs: Brand Spankin NEW Stuff and Twerkathon OH-13 - Who is the REAL King of Twerk?

Happy Tuesday My People! LOTS to get into today so let's do this! I can barely contain myself because there is so much new stuff out today or about to come out over the next few weeks... That's right folks, it seems it's Fall release time!

First up... I'm freaking DYING right now because the new 2 CHAINZ album B.O.A.T.S. II: Me Time which is set to be released officially on September 10th is being leaked bit by bit. That means we're about to get a rack of new 2 CHAINZ songs of the day!

So far you've heard 2 singles off the album, Netflix in yesterday's post Happy Monday Theme Songs: Super Fresh 2 CHAINZ, Twerkathon OH-13 - Twerking Trainwreck, and Wiz Khalifa! and Feds Watching in the post from a couple weeks ago that kicked this madness off Happy Monday Theme Songs From 2 Chainz!.

Here is another new one from the album that I'm feeling called Where U Been? featuring Cap 1...

Next up, don't act like you don't know it's time for today's installment of Twerkathon OH-13...

OK, so one of my proudest accomplishments recently was FINALLY learning how to make it clap. Here is the tutorial that I learned from because I think it's super helpful. What better way to learn how to clap your booty than from strippers since I'm pretty sure they invented that move? For real, you'll know you're doing it right because you will hear a clap sound.

Now let's get into something that I find super funny whilst we practice our new-found booty clapping skills... Who the F is the REAL "King of Twerk"?!?!?

Currently Diplo is out declaring himself as the King of Twerk. Between his outright productions and those under his Major Lazer project he's got all kinds of girls all around the world "expressing themselves" all over walls and furniture. He's also currently running a little instagram video submission contest where ladies are sending 15 second videos demonstrating their twerking skills.

(Ladies, before you get excited and make videos to start showing off your twerking skills that may be newly acquired due to this blog, bear in mind that if you do that then your bare booty will be on the internet for the entire world to see and hundreds of thousands of his followers to comment on. I've been reading the comments and some of them are pretty vicious.)

However, the number of actual twerking songs he's produced is quite lacking and the ones that exist are super hard to find... Believe me, I had to do some digging just to find this one for today. It's a track off the Kick Ass 2 movie soundtrack and it's called Earthquake. He co-produced it with DJ Fresh.. Real quick by the way, LOVE DJ FRESH! LOVE HIM LIKE IT'S MY FREAKING JOB! HAVE LOVED HIM SINCE BUZZ DAYS! VIRAM FOREVER!)

Anyway, between Earthquake, Express Yourself, like 2 others I can't find on YouTube, and some Major Lazer joints, which bear in mind are co-produced so Twerk King credit must be shared, the number of actual twerking tracks is pretty limited. He's pretty much coasting on current fan volume. So does this qualify him?

Fans can be fickle and their attention spans are short. If you don't continue to stay relevant enough then they're gone like the wind... and lemmetellyasomething, Diplo is 34 years old. Do you know how hard it is to be in your 30's and stay relevant to teenagers and people in their early 20's? Basically, I think if another newer, hotter, younger guy comes along and puts out a better song girls like "expressing themselves" to more then, unfortunately, it's Bye Bye Diplo. (Sidenote: When that happens, because it WILL happen, I would like to see a 2 stage twerk-off.. Kind of like Scott Pilgrim when the gorilla comes out and kills the dragon. Make it happen. Make it happen now.)

Now, there is another man out there who identifies himself as the King of Twerk and his name is K-Stylis. This man has a rack of twerk songs that call out specific booty bouncing instructions like it's a stripper square dance. I dare you. I triple.. NO.. I quadruple dog dare you to keep up with how fast he calls them out. Best Workout EVER!

So K-Stylis has the volume and if you search him on YouTube he definitely has the following too. The only problem with his claim though is that he is still lost in obscurity and has not put out anything new in about a year. I personally have become all about some K-Stylis so somebody please let that man know he needs to put out a new album. I will take it to the streets and promote it myself because that's how much I want that to happen. Maybe he and Diplo need to team up on something. (If that actually happens then somebody owes me a rack of money for suggesting it.)

However, I was always under the impression that the real Kings of Twerk were the Ying Yang Twins. By sheer volume and following they definitely had that crown for years...

Unfortunately though, they haven't put anything new out in awhile either... So alas, they lost their crown.

For me though, there is only one man I believe is the real King of Twerk. He's got the volume. He's got the following. And for real, I don't give a crap how old he is, he will ALWAYS be relevant... So relevant he still comes out with new stuff that just stays hot. This is hotness which has spanned 3 decades. That man's name is Mannie Fresh. 

Rumor has it that he has reconciled with Birdman and they are supposed to be getting back into the studio. Puhhhhleeeeeezzzzz let this rumor be true! Before I die, I just want Mannie Fresh, Juvenile, Birdman, and Lil Wayne to do a Cash Money Millionaires Hot Boyz Reunion.

  

That's not just good ish right there... That is the BEST ish right there. If you don't know, act like you know because you should.

Next, I promised you some more brand spankin NEW stuff so here goes... Thanks to the all-knowing 2 CHAINZ on Twitter, I found out that 3 albums dropped today: 1) Big Sean's Hall of Fame, 2) Juicy J's Stay Trippy, and 3) Goodie Mob's Age Against the Machine. Big day for hip hop for real...

So first, Big Sean's Hall of Fame... Hated it! Well, not entirely... I just couldn't really get down to the songs I listened to because Big Sean basically gets out-rapped on every track I heard including this one featuring Juicy J and Nicki Minaj. Frankly Nicki Minaj is a beast and dudes who aren't Lil Wayne, 2 CHAINZ, and Drake need to either step up their game or stop letting her be on their tracks because she shuts them down. Get 'em gurrrrrlllll...

Next is Juicy J's Stay Trippy... Hated it! Yeah, I mean that one... which is sad because I freaking love me some Academy Award Winning Three Six Mafia like you don't even know. It's basically a collection of boring, tired stripper anthems that took WAY too long to release as an entire album. And when I say stripper anthems, I mean every song I've heard off this album is about strippers, strippers, strip clubs, and more strippers. Maybe the album took a year to release because Juicy J was too busy making it rain.

The first single Bandz A Make Her Dance was released nearly a year ago on 9/11/2012. Seriously, I can't stand this song...

Also, Bounce It featuring the DMV's own Wale and the R. Kelly of our generation, Trey Songz, sounds exactly like Bandz which makes it boring...

And he gets out-rapped by A$ap Rocky on Scholarship... which also sounds way too similar to the other songs...

Finally, Goodie Mob has reunited after 14 years and released Age Against the Machine... All I can say is, who the F doesn't like Goodie Mob?!?! Cee-Lo is bananas dude. This song called Special Education featuring Janelle Monae is the jam and it has such a positive message. It's on the same page that I've been preaching from about how you should celebrate being a unique individual and not dim your shine for anybody and be "normal" just to gain acceptance.

 

Just be happy and do you... BOOM!

Happy HumP Day Theme Songs!

It's been a minute since my last post. I've been dealing with things and living my life because that is how I find things to write about that you might actually find entertaining and/or interesting. Anyway, theme songs for today...

It's hump day and today I'm feeling semi-ratchet so let's get to this...

First up is a joint by DMV's own Wale. I was listening to iHeart Radio a couple weeks ago and this song came on. It's the jam.

The next one is by Ca$h Out. I heard it this morning while I was getting ready for work. It makes me want to wobble and do 3 point stands...

 

This one by Travis Porter also makes me want to wobble and do 3 point stands. Of course, everything Travis Porter pretty much makes you feel like you should be stripping for tips while somebody makes it rain...

Now y'all know I love me some 2 CHAINZ! This song he did with Michael Posner sort of takes me back because I guess I used to be that girl. I wouldn't call myself a "DJ Ho" persay. Others used to call me that but it's rather inaccurate. I preferred to think of myself more as a "DJ Special Friend Who Had A LOT Of Intelligent and Interesting Conversations". But once I became a DJ myself, neither term applied anymore because then it's just 2 DJ's getting it on. If anything, I'd have been a CSW trying to use them to get famous. However, as discussed in Who the Fuck is this Bottom-Feeding Losery Stalker Groupie Douche?!? I didn't take full advantage of those situations perhaps they way I should have. Anyway, the song...

Finally, this next song by Jay-Z and Justin Timberlake actually resonates with me in my lust for fame with my barely existent DJ career and also with this tiny, obscure blog. Fame and Celebrity are such a ellusive, fickle hookers that you wish you could buy but are lucky if you're able to rent...

BOOM! Stay tuned. Who knows what the day might bring?