Well, I'm happy to report that my insane months long dry spell finally came to an end.. not last weekend as I had originally planned... but actually the night of the Mr. Dreamy Band Show because I ended up bringing home a little souvenir. There was a certain person who attended the show that Mr. Dreamy had mentioned to me in passing a several weeks prior was his new bestie... Let's call him Dustin. Well when I saw him at the show, I thought he was cute and within about 5 minutes of meeting him I found out he thought I was too when he asked me what my backstage pass was and then checked out my ass. Ding ding. Game fucking on.. Especially after what happened later that evening.
After I finished interviewing the bands, I was super pissed because Mr. Dreamy didn't even bother showing up to the interview with his band. He claimed he was busy dealing with a situation because a couple of his friends were getting arrested outside.. They did not get arrested. They got citations for weed possession. Cindy told me she actually saw him standing by the bar outside the lounge for most of the interview and didn't even bother to come in. Then when I came out he was still standing there so I bitched him out for missing the interview. He was whatever about it and didn't even apologize or seem to care how uncool it was at all.. So in that moment I finally hit my breaking point on the Dreamy Drama.
This was when I made a very calculated move and decided to go find Dreamy's bestie. We'd been flirting a bit all night so I figured why not exact some basic bitch revenge? I went back in the lounge and found him sitting in a chair all bummed out because during my last band interview he'd walked by with tray full of drinks he was getting for friends and spilled them on the floor. This was the second tray he'd actually dropped and his bad waitressing skills were wreaking havoc on his bar tab. He looked all sad so I cheered him up, took his hand, and said, "Come on sweety, let's go get you some alcohol."
We went to the bar in the main room to get drinks and he decided we should do shots and, even though I had offered to buy him a drink and told the bartender to put what he wanted on my tab, he pulled a sneaky move and paid for everything. This impressed me. So we're running around and talking and flirting and whatnot and somewhere in there he mentions that he's bisexual, which I'm cool with cause that means he still likes chicks and actually wasn't surprised by considering he was slightly effeminate and had a bit of an androgynous vibe about him. I actually thought he was gay which I think I asked and may have been what prompted him to disclose his sexual orientation.. And then he drops the bomb on me... Wait for it... that Mr. Dreamy is bisexual too... and.. Oh it gets better... that they've been getting intimate on a somewhat regular basis... and even better... including that morning.
So remember way back weeks ago in my post Miss Slik's Guide to Dating: The 3 Date Rule when I said how Mr. Dreamy had said all that anti-monogamy stuff? Well turns out I was all wrong about his reasoning for having said that. I thought he just wanted to bang a bunch of chicks... He actually meant he just wanted to bang a bunch of everybody.. and a certain somebody in particular... His new bestie who'd now just become my new favorite person. What's really funny is that both Mr. Dreamy and his bestie had recently gotten out of long term relationships with women so they could be unfettered and sexually free.. and I guess at that point neither of their ex-girlfriends knew about it and were actually trying to reconcile and get back together not knowing they were still being lied to about the actual reasons for the breakups.
Anyway, Dreamy's bestie and I proceeded to make out everywhere.. and I mean EVERYWHERE... Outside while we smoked cigarettes right in front of Mr. Dreamy, in the hallways, in the middle of the crowd, by the bar, and even in the ladies room. Meanwhile I'm learning more about his involvement with Mr. Dreamy and kept having to reiterate the fact that I've never fucked Mr. Dreamy because his bestie couldn't wrap his brain around why I hadn't given the size and beauty of Mr. Dreamy's endowment.. which I was well aware of, hence my prior offers of sex and burritos after having shot him down on our 1st date. Dreamy's bestie also informed me that he happens to share a similar interest with me and the Christian Grey of my life as he is also into certain BDSM activities... and when I expressed interest in participating in interesting things of that nature with him, he said he would be interested in participating as well.. Ding ding.
Well the show ended and Dreamy's bestie asked if I wanted to come back to Mr. Dreamy's place for a little after party. I was not very interested in going out there and neither were Cindy and William. Since Cindy was spending the night at my apartment I explained that I needed to go with them, which meant we were going home. So this is when Dreamy's bestie decides he wants to come with us back to my place instead of going home with Mr. Dreamy... which I was hesitant about.. But he was pretty persistent.
We all then went outside and apparently while I was off taking pics of our Most Photogenic special award winner, Dreamy's bestie told Mr. Dreamy that he was going with me and asked Mr. Dreamy to pick him up from my place later. Cindy said Mr. Dreamy's eyes got big as saucers and he turned and looked over at me in disbelief like "WHAAAAATTT?! How the fuck did this happen?!?" I wish I could've seen his face because that would've been awesome.
Dreamy's bestie grabs his stuff and I see Mr. Dreamy say something to him like he's trying to talk him out of it. I later found out from Dreamy's bestie that what Mr. Dreamy was whispering to him is that he had apparently sorted out a little sexual rendezvous with some girl that I guess he'd planned on the 2 of them sharing.. But Dreamy's bestie said he'd rather have a night on his own. This thrilled me to no end because not only had I stolen Mr. Dreamy's little plaything but I ruined his night by making his ménage à trois a much less interesting ménage á deux.
So we left and headed back to my apartment. Cindy decided that since we'd gotten out earlier than she thought we would she'd go ahead and drive home and give Dreamy's bestie and I some alone time... I was sitting there like "Uh Oh" cause I knew I was in trouble. Between me being drunk and him being all respectful and shit and saying we didn't have to have sex and that he's not the hit it and quit it type, the last of my resolve to hold off disappeared and somehow this dude found the key to my imaginary chastity belt...
Plus dude eats pussy like a champ. Honestly, I could really give a flying fuck whose dick he sucked that morning. If he put the spit shine on Mr. Dreamy the way he did on me, it's no wonder dude drives all over 3 states and Hell's half acre for him. Lemmetellyasomething, that boy worked me the fuck out and vice versa. I ended that damn dry spell a few times that night... and then again the next morning. *Brushes pimp dust off shoulders*. In the meantime though, we had some real talk bonding moments and compared Dreamy notes, which was both very weird and insightful, while we cuddled and he played my guitar naked and shit... which I really wish dudes would stop doing post coitus without asking me first.
And then somewhere in there, things took a weird turn and he got all sad and for some reason I can't remember, he said, "Someone like you would never date someone like me." I'm sitting there thinking 'Ah hell, this dude looks like he is about to cry all over my bed. I can't tell him that he's right.' So instead I'm like, "There there.. Of course I would date someone like you."
You're damn right I lied straight through my fucking teeth because there was no way in hell I was telling this dude the truth, especially not in that moment cause honesty does not work with drunk, sad, slightly belligerent, naked people. It was the wrong time for unfortunate truths.. I just wanted to have fun so I placated him for the sake of not ruining my entertainment.
We ended up passing out though around 3:00am and the cherry on the sundae of my revenge fucking was that while we were asleep, Mr. Dreamy actually showed up knocking on my door at like 5:00am trying to pick his bestie up and I didn't realize what was going on. Felicity was flipping out but I was not awake. Then I got a call from Mr. Dreamy but I didn't know the 2 things were related so I ignored his call. He then had to drive all the way back to my place a few hours later in rush hour traffic to pick his bestie up before I left for work.
Before Dreamy's bestie left though he was trying to get his stuff together and couldn't figure out what he'd done with his black button down dress shirt and his tie he had been wearing. I honestly couldn't remember if he was wearing it when he left so I was no help. But later when I was cleaning up from the combo sex tornado and usual dog destruction I found his shirt hiding in one of my dining chairs. So I texted him to let him know I had it. I still have no clue what happened to his tie.
We continued texting a bit throughout the week, which was hectic to say the least between working on the Quadruple Post Extravaganza and preparing for my DJ gig. I was still pissed at Mr. Dreamy for having missed the interview but Cindy pointed out that he may not have come because I'd embarrassed him over the Dreamy Drama on the blog which all of his bandmates were now aware of. In light of this, I enlisted Dreamy's bestie's help to persuade Mr. Dreamy to do the interview so I could add in his responses.
Fortunately, my little helper was successful and Mr. Dreamy called me and did the interview. He even texted me after we got off the phone to apologize for being a little short with me in the beginning of our conversation. I hit up Dreamy's bestie to thank him for helping with that. Then we chatted for a bit and I got on him about not having accepted my Facebook friend request yet. This is when he tells me that Mr. Dreamy actually gave him some weird ominous warning about me and told him I wanted monogamy and a serious relationship.
This apparently made Dreamy's bestie apprehensive to friend me on Facebook because he was concerned I would post all kinds of stuff to his wall. Since he was still friends with his ex-girlfriend and hanging out with her all the time, he didn't want her knowing he was being "slutty". I told him that I don't really post a lot of things to people's walls in general, especially dudes with whom I'm just casually involved, because I don't want to blow up my own spot. I already knew about the shit with his ex though because he told me the night we met. I'd also told him about the Christian Grey of my life and how he was coming to visit and whatnot. So for the time being, I had zero interest getting seriously involved with anyone because that would hinder my plans.
I also then made it very clear that Mr. Dreamy was incorrect as far as what my intentions were with his bestie and explained that based on his current situation and sexual proclivities, I wasn't interested in dating him... which was awkward as fuck for me considering his little breakdown on my bed and my subsequent lie to placate him. Mr. Dreamy didn't know that had happened so I don't think he understood why putting me in the position to have to explain that was so uncool.
Meanwhile I'm sitting there like "Holy fuck. I'm gonna kill that motherfucker." For real, who the hell does Mr. Dreamy think he is anyway having any kind of relationship discussion about what I want with the dudes I fuck?!? That shit is highly inappropriate. He may have warned him because he thought he was looking out for his friend but I doubt it. I think he did it either because he was jealous and wanted me out of that picture or possibly because he knew it would fuck with me.. If the latter is the case then touché Mr. Dreamy. Touché.
It was amusing to me because, for someone who'd claimed he is the dominant one who never gives up control, he'd damn sure relinquished way too much of it to me and was never getting it back. I'd even pointed that fact out that night after I'd taken control from him when I did some things to him off a certain page of the Cheesecake Factory menu that most men don't usually let me do but I figured he'd love based on his... how should I say this?... predispositions regarding his sexual orientation. Dreamy's bestie responded to his loss of control by saying he didn't know how that happened and he just went with it and that I'm "Too much of a spitfire to ever be a typical sub."
This is very true. I'm not a typical sub and would never be anyone's slave. Even the Christian Grey of my life knows better than to ever refer to me as such because he knows that in my case I only play a submissive role for my own fun and pleasure. I guess with the whole 50 Shades of Grey craze being such a big thing right now more people, particularly the ladies, will feel me on this.. But a lot of those toys and devices and shit are super fun good times. Also, there is nothing hotter than being tied up whIle somebody has their way with you.. which is why 50 Shades of Grey appeals to so many women.
Personally though ladies, it's also super fun to be the one doing the tying and way having yourself. It gives you an opportunity to put in work and demonstrate that you are the pornstar sex goddess of the universe and also give a dude a blow job without him constantly trying to push your head down and shit.. Cause for real fellas, we hate that.. Plus, as I've mentioned in prior posts, if a dude can't pull my hair, smack my ass, and hit it from the back properly then, I'm sorry but this will just never work out. But that's not a submissive thing.. It's just a good sex thing... There is a difference.
However, if you want to get into legit BDSM terms, I would actually be what's called a "Switch" because I like to switch it up and be both dominant and submissive. Generally I tend to be both with the same people.. But all of it usually depends on the person and my mood.. and if I'm drunk. Kinda figured based on Dreamy's bestie's spitfire comment though, that he knew all that. I did refer to him occasionally as Sir after he asked me to... But only when I was trying to be cute because I thought it was funny or when I wanted something from him.
Anyway, after I posted up my Dreamy Band Show quadruple post extravaganza, Dreamy's bestie got all mad. He called it a bad tabloid article that promoted drama and not information and said that he found the narrative dry, the questions weak, that I talked too much about myself, and that the whole thing displeased him. He didn't like the format or the things I'd said about Mr. Dreamy's band. I'd never really had anyone give me negative feedback like that before. I knew the day would come though so I tried to put my sensitivity about my work aside and treat his criticism as a constructive learning opportunity to improve my blog.
A couple days later, I got a Facebook invite from Mr. Dreamy for his band's cover show at a bar near where I live. I texted him and asked if he was sure if he wanted me to come out because I wasn't trying to get ambushed and shanked by his bandmates. He got all short and said "Feel free not to come." I got pissed and was like, "If you don't want me to come then why did you include me on the damn invite?!?" He also asked when he could come pick up his bestie's shirt because Dreamy's bestie has asked Mr. Dreamy to get it from me. I told him not to come over though because I just couldn't fucking deal with him in person.
I then hit up Dreamy's bestie and asked him why he wanted Mr. Dreamy to come pick up his shirt when we had already agreed that he would come over to get his shirt himself when we both had some time to play after my upcoming weekend with Christian Grey. He said he'd see Mr. Dreamy before he would see me so I called him "Sir" and told him Mr. Dreamy had been rude and pissed me off but that I would possibly come to the show since Christian Grey said he was down to go and bring him his shirt since he would be there. I also said I'd consider giving the band a redo and would possibly write a more favorable post if their show merited it.. all of which he said pleased him. *Makes Leslie Chow jacking off dice rolling hand gestures*
I was on the fence about actually going though because I didn't want to make one of my 2 precious nights with the Christian Grey of my life about drama and bullshit.. especially after I finally ended up hearing back from one of the other guys in the band who actually wasn't mad about the article. He just wanted to ask me about some things that Mr. Dreamy had said so he could work things out with his friend and bandmate.. which I thought was very awesome and mature of him to do. Seems at least one person took my post in the spirit in which it was intended.
But he told me that when he tried to talk to Mr. Dreamy about the situation, Mr. Dreamy told him the stuff I wrote was "a creative interpretation and complete lie" which dude didn't believe because he didn't understand why someone would say untrue things knowing the whole band would read them... which is correct.. Actually I wouldn't because that would be libel and I could get sued. But when I read the message I was like WHAT THE FUCK?!?! First the inappropriate, ominous warning and now this... I was super pissed. Mr. Dreamy had seriously become Mr. Worst Fucking Nightmare.
Meanwhile I'm texting with Dreamy's bestie about whatever and said if I came to the show he'd have to protect me from possible shanking. Then after I read the message from dude I asked him if Mr. Dreamy had told him I lied in my article as well because that would definitely explain why Dreamy's bestie had thrown the word "slander" at me. He responded and said he couldn't be more disinterested in this kind of drama and whatever... and that was when I reached my breaking point with him and told him he needed to watch it because I'd already had enough of Mr. Dreamy being all short with me and didn't need it from him too.
He apologized and said he was neutral like Switzerland.. which is bullshit because I could tell the only reason he'd gotten on my case about that article in the first place was because Mr. Dreamy was probably pissed. I then asked him why he was so sour over the post when I'd actually said favorable things about him it.. which was clearly lost on him. I then proceeded to defend myself and my work because I put a lot of time and energy into writing that piece. I didn't create any of the drama in it. All I did was air it out and give my honest opinion and really wasn't even that harsh. I told him the reality of the situation was that if I'd been from a straight up music pub or a bigger site and didn't know any of the guys personally then I'd have either slammed them harder or dropped the story.
He took awhile to respond so I said in a smart ass way, "Guess I've now displeased you even more Sir." Then he texted me back finally and said I actually hadn't and that he appreciated my defense and points I made and he understood where I was coming from. So at least that finally deaded the damn tyranny over my blog post because the whole situation between him taking out Mr. Dreamy's unhappiness on me and anxiously anticipating why other band dude wanted to discuss the post had me beyond stressed the fuck out all week. After that though, things calmed down and we actually had nice little scandalous conversations that were more fun.
At least preparing for the arrival of the Christian Grey of my life made me happy. He had actually complimented my article and tried to help calm me down during the backlash. If it hadn't been for him I'd have seriously flipped my shit. He's so great... But while I was out grocery shopping last Friday and getting things ready for my super sexy guest, I got a text from Dreamy's bestie asking if we could talk. He had been considering getting back together with his ex and wanted my advice "separate of our Master/Slave arrangement as a woman" on whether or not I thought that was a good idea. I made Leslie Chow jacking off dice rolling hand gestures at that Master/Slave shit and about fell over in shock that he even wanted my opinion.
So first, we got into this whole debacle because he asked me to bear in mind that he is a sociopath devoid of "normal" human emotions. I'm like "Dude, you're not a fucking sociopath. My dad was a psych prof. I've taken psych classes. My first word was 'Freud'. Trust me, you don't fit the textbook definition." He tried to argue me on this. He's not a fucking sociopath though because if he was he wouldn't care if he hurt anybody. True sociopaths would have just kept lying while they were still in the relationship without concern or remorse as to the consequences.
But I heard that word thrown around more times in that little group of people than I cared to even bother to count and that annoyed me on principle. People need to stop trying to label themselves with incorrect psychological diagnoses just to excuse their own fucked up, rude, selfish behavior. Even a correct diagnosis doesn't excuse it because the point of knowing you have a certain mental health disorder is to learn how to manage it so you don't act like a psycho toolbag. I have ADHD and mild Asperger's Syndrome. It affects my dealings with people in some pretty adverse ways at times, and while it justifies how I act, I don't ever expect anyone to treat my behavior like it's acceptable based on it. I believe that even people with mental and psychological impairments should still be held accountable for things they do to some extent.
What Dreamy's bestie fits the textbook definition for whether he believes it or not is actually a classic codependent. I know because I've been in my own Adult Children/Codependents Anonymous recovery for the past like 4 years now and I still attract other codependent people like honey badgers to a beehive. It's a subconscious thing that the book calls "My Shadow". But based on what dude told me about who his father is and whatnot, he fits the bill. Codependents don't process or express typical emotions and feelings in "normal" way and we're really good at bottling and suppressing our feelings because it's how we cope with shit. I actually had to get professional help just to learn how to express simple feelings like being happy or angry in a genuine and healthy way. True story.
Anyway, I asked some info seeking questions so I could give him good advice, starting with if she knew he was bisexual. He said "She does now." So I asked how she took the news and he said she was surprised, but overall it went well, aside from her insecurities and trust issues that he hangs out and goes on tour with attractive men all the time. The fact that she was surprised by his revelation was astounding to me though. There is a reason I lovingly refer to this dude as "My little fembot". Like I said, I had to ask about his sexual orientation when I met him because I thought he might be gay.. Usually I go for more super dudish dude types but something about his androgynous vibe appealed to me. Still I wouldn't be shocked if he ever did wake up one morning and just legit come out of the closet. I really have no clue how she didn't pick up on any of it.
He also told me she wanted monogamy and wasn't OK with participating in any guy on guy on her situations nor with him continuing his sexual lifestyle separately of her... That did not surprise me. Considering his desire to be bisexually free without hurting her or having to lie about it anymore, I told him I thought it was best to just do both himself and her a favor by cutting her loose. She might be upset but she'd get over it. I explained that this is what I meant when I'd told him before about the whole sexual proclivities thing. Most heterosexual women are not OK with the thought of their boyfriends or husbands having sex with another man under any circumstances at any time. Period.
Personally, I don't really care what somebody does if we're in a casual situation and I said I'd watch him bang dudes all day. But if we were in a relationship, I'm not so sure I could hang with that either. Some people are of a mind that bisexual people are just being greedy. That may be true. But I think bisexual people.. and I mean truly bisexual people, not the drunk chicks who make out with each other in clubs for attention from dudes and maybe have that one scandalous threeway one night because they wanted to be wild.. I mean bisexual people, especially men, who actively and regularly pursue and have intimate relations with people of the same sex are really just trying to make up their minds because something is holding them back. I've known a lot of people like this who've gone back and forth and then finally woke up one morning like "Yeah, I'm gay." And that's great and totally something I can accept and support in a friend or family member... But not really from my significant other cause as shitty as it might sound I'm not really trying to set myself up to get left for another dude. Another chick is something I've successfully dealt with.. But another dude.. Yeah, I can't win that.
Based on what I know of him though, since he'd said she couldn't satisfy all of his needs in that department I had no doubt he'd get to a point where he'd probably end up cheating on her with a dude or something and hurt her even more. He should just be himself and do what he wants and find somebody else who is more open and shares similar views on sexual freedom and whatnot. There are people out there who are just like him so he should find one who makes him happy that accepts him completely for who he is... like maybe Mr. Dreamy perhaps.
Well I don't know what response he actually expected of me.. like maybe he thought I would call him Sir and beg him not to go back, which was NEVER going to happen.. But he said he was disinclined to take my advice because he considered it biased. I'm like whoa there.. My response was, "Not really.. I actually tried to be as objective and honest as possible based on what I know of you and also because I've been in a similar position. I kinda saw the possibility of this coming anyway. It seems like all the dudes I'm intimately involved with at the moment have all recently gotten out of serious relationships.. But of the 2 guys I guess I'm the closest to right now, you're actually not the one I'd give the biased advice to.. It's (Christian Grey). If he was considering getting back together with his ex I'd honestly say anything to change his mind because I've been in love with him for years."
Sorry dude. Christian Grey even knows exactly how I feel because I make no secret of it and never have. Doesn't mean it has any real bearing on the situation between us and never really has. Things are what they are exactly the way they are for a multitude of reasons that we both understand and accept. Regardless of that though, I don't want to lose him again now that he's back in my life. He's one of the few people I actually feel close enough to that I can be myself completely around and drop my guard without fear because I trust him with my life. I've needed him some days more than I needed air and I've felt kind of lost the past year or so without him. I figured Dreamy's bestie got that because we talked about it when he brought up his whole situation with his ex and I said I didn't care for that reason. I also told him during that awkward warning conversation that part of why I didn't want to date him was because we were both a little too hung up on other people for it to work. Didn't mean we couldn't still have fun.
But I guess that displeased him too because then he told me he'd just received disheartening news that he got passed on for a project and saw it as a sign he should cease our "arrangement". Whoa there again.. Between the "Master/Slave arrangement" comment, dismissing my advice because he considered it biased, and then blaming his bad news on me when I had nothing to do with it, I finally had to put this dude in check and tell him that while I was sorry he hadn't gotten the news he wanted, it was not my fault in any way so he needed to look elsewhere on the bad juju front.
Furthermore, I told him that we have no arrangement. I'm still not even quite sure where he got that from and clearly we are not viewing this situation even close to the same way at all. An arrangement denotes a regularly recurring thing which, to me, one night and a few texts do not make. We may have had an understanding.. But not an arrangement. This dude is a one-nighter I stole from someone else just to piss them off and make them jealous as retribution for their douchey behavior. I even referred to Dreamy's bestie mostly as "Mr. Dreamy's Little Plaything".. and was actually trying to stop doing that because I felt bad. But all I want to know is where the fuck was my warning Mr. Dreamy? Seems maybe it was given to the wrong person.
I was trying to make a conscious effort to separate him out from how we met and why we came to be where we were and stop looking at him as being affiliated with Mr. Dreamy because I was trying to treat him like a real person.. But he fucked that all up once he called basically called me some biased slave. We even mostly texted with about platonic shit anyway rather than sexting and/or anything really BDSM related. He didn't even pick up on that fact that I only called "Sir" every so often as a manipulation tactic because I know he got his jollies off on it.
But all that shit seriously annoyed the absolute fuck out of me and pissed me off. That's some serious codependent bullshit and I won't tolerate it. I've worked way too hard to purge that shit from my life.. all of which I told him. It really doesn't matter how much I like anybody because I have to treat everybody as expendable on some level. It makes it easier to cut ties if the relationship turns toxic. My personal boundaries I set are absolute. If you violate them then I will tell you. It's on you to then make amends and make an effort to respect that boundary going forward. Then should I ever cross your lines, I will reciprocate and we'll be better friends and people and grow and shit. According to my recovery stuff, that's how healthy relationships of any form, be them romantic or platonic, should work. But if you can't do that then you can get the fuck out of my life.
Well, he didn't do that amends shit. I guess he took my boundary setting as me writing him off. I at least did try to attempt to let him know that wasn't the case the other day. I checked in on him because I saw this sad, passive aggressive Facebook status about things ending sloppily and that he was about to lose his shit. It concerned me because I do care and can't have my little fembot slitting his wrists or doing anything similarly drastic. Turns out he did follow my advice and said he'd ended things permanently with his ex because she's managed to harm him to the point he wasn't even willing to be friends anymore. I asked what she did but he didn't tell me.
For real though it's kind of irrelevant. My guess is whatever she did was probably something he pushed her to do anyway because he wanted to change the progression of the situation and put her in his debt. Codependent people who want change in a relationship will do whatever they can to drive the other person away to the point that person does something that the codependent can then place the blame on them for that they claim is bad enough to terminate the relationship. It's a control tactic to get that person to come back and apologize so the codependent can hold whatever over them. But it can backfire if the other person in the situation is not a codependent. No doubt some of you out there are having an Aha moment cause you've been in that situation before.
I'm guessing it worked though because I saw something on my Facebook feed that he was now in a relationship. Guessing that means my little Les Liasons Dangereuses wager with Christian Grey is off. Oh well... C'est la vie. Que sera sera and all that. I do like Dreamy's bestie as a person and a friend. I also appreciate the fact that he unlocked a part of me with regard to indulging my own sexual freedom that I had suppressed and buried for years in a mound of shame and bullshit that I actually need to find a balance on so it will stop manifesting itself as more destructive binging. But since I had put it in the same hole with my other codependent behaviors it let the rest of the shit out with it.
One of the many things I love about the Christian Grey of my life is he has a very calming effect on me. Whenever I go off the chain and get all hyper, he knows exactly what to say to bring me back down and level me out. Maybe this is because he's like the dude version of me and understands me so well. While he was around I did start to chill out a bit which helped me to start seeing the forest for the trees and I realized that Dreamy's bestie was hitting my triggers. But Christian Grey even laughed at me and the whole situation and told me I thrive on this kind of drama and eat it up.. That I love to kick the beehive and then watch all the bees flip out.. then kick it again and stir shit up and again and again.. until I get bored of it. Then I'm out like "Good luck with all that." As bad as it sounds, he's totally right. I fucking love it. Hell, I'm kicking the shit out the beehive right now.
I will say though that I think Dreamy's bestie helped facilitate strengthening my bond a little more with the Christian Grey of my life because we've actually been even more honest and open with each other lately than we were before. I told him about what happened with Dreamy's bestie because I can't lie to him and he was fine with it. He even wanted details. Actually of all the people in this weird Dreamy triangle, it would seem that I'm the only one who doesn't have to lie to the person they legit care about just to go bang other people. I find that extremely ironic.
Well it actually fits me quite nicely and looks dope on me...
It looks dope on Kirby the Koala Bear too and he could do with a new shirt cause he's been wearing the same one for 3 decades now. Though on him it looks more like a Harry Potter robe...
It also has multiple everyday household uses like...
A dish rag....
A regular rag...
A potholder cause you can never have enough of those...
A pirate flag for the loft to let all ye know Miss Slik be the scourge of all the Fair Lakes...
It also makes a lovely cape on Felicity...
And an awesome super hero cape on me...
.I call myself The Douchenator.. Dealing karmic justice to those who deserve it... Able to leap assholes in a single bound... Making the world a less douchey place one blog post at a time. Get at me Stan Lee!
There's me flying with my trusty sidekick Pouncer Pooch enemy of crotches everywhere....
The list goes on and on...
The moral of the story is folks, be yourself and do what makes you happy.. which is something I keep stressing in a lot of my posts. But stop lying to the people you care about just to do what you want. It's selfish and immature and ultimately will probably come back to bite you in the ass. If the people who say they care really do then they aren't going anywhere.. and if they do, it's probably just temporary so they can process and they'll most likely be back.. But if they can't accept you and don't come back then you just have to learn to let them go because they weren't in it for the long haul anyway. Either way, you can't let their reactions paralyze you because life is just too damn short to spend even 5 minutes of it unhappy.
And finally, let this be a lesson to anyone who leaves their shit in my apartment from henceforth and does not come back to get it in a timely manner cause I'm serious. I'm really keeping that shirt. It's still hanging from the loft knee wall with the Jolly Roger taped to it as we speak.
So until next time, stay tuned and stay up.
