Decently pretty, nice, but slightly obnoxious, brunette chick goes out a date with dude from Entourage (the short, ginger guy who played Eric) and he ends the night with a hug and an "I'll call you." She thinks the date went great but he was whatever about it so he has zero intention of ever calling her again... It turns out this is because he's actually in love with another chick played by Scarlett Johansson.. But it is an unrequited love as he is her mayor of Friend Land who she keeps on the hook while she's off fucking Bradley Cooper's character who is married to brunette chick's coworker. Meanwhile, brunette chick is glued to her cell phone and landline for days on end waiting for this dude to call, answering every time it rings with a quickness even while she's in the shower, hanging up on her mom a bunch of times to keep the lines clear, and obsessing about it with her girlfriends. He doesn't call so she tries calling him. He doesn't answer so she leaves a carefully scripted voicemail... which he then ignores. Instead of taking the hint, she attempts a desperate drop-in at this bar he told her he hangs out at so she can "accidentally" run into him. He isn't there so she asks the bartender about him who turns out to be dude's best bro and he obviously knows his boy is never going to call her. He feels bad for this sad, pathetic girl so he breaks the news to her that "he's just not that into you."
Where am I going with this? Well, the reality of the situation is we've all been that sad, pathetic girl who has waited by the phone and obsessed over why the person we were interested in that we thought really liked us too has not called us back or responded to our texts. This goes for dudes as well because you damn well know you too have been that girl.
I know I've damn sure been that girl and I finally got tired of it. So I asked myself, how long is a reasonable amount of time to devote to waiting on someone to respond to you before you decide to let it go and move on? I decided that the answer is 48 hours which lead to me instituting what I call "The 48 Hour Rule."
THE 48 HOUR RULE: If the person that you are "talking to", dating, and/or involved with in some kind of intimate 'status as of yet undefined' relationship who has been in communication with you every day for more than one week suddenly does not contact nor respond to you for a period of more than 48 hours then you should automatically assume that he/she is either dead, in a coma, or blowing you off.
Now for men, this rule is a little tricky because you are traditionally tasked with the role of being the initiators of contact with women... Meaning she's waiting for you to text or call and doing her best to be cool in the process. So if you're waiting 2 days for her to send a "Hey, how's it going?" text then you'll end up breaking the 48 Hour Rule for her since those texts are supposed to be your move. But if she doesn't respond for 48 hours once you've initiated contact then she's the rule breaker.
Why did I arbitrarily decide that 48 hours is the magic amount of time? Well, a lot can happen in a day and sometimes you just don't get a chance to contact someone or respond because all hell broke loose. But the odds of it breaking so loose for 2 days in row that you can't even find time to send a quick text responding to someone are pretty slim. Plus, if you've only been talking to this person for a couple weeks and maybe been on one or 2 dates then you really shouldn't be devoting more than about 2 days worth of your time being loyal to that person and waiting on them if they aren't responding to you.
If and when this 48 Hour Rule is broken, then 48 hours and one minute after whenever the time was you last heard from that person should be your cue you to begin the moving on process and find a new person to "talk to", date, or involve yourself with in a new intimate, undefined relationship.
People always want to dwell on all these what-ifs instead of facing reality... Maybe he didn't get my text. Maybe he was just busy. Maybe he lost his phone. Maybe he just suddenly fell off the face of the fucking planet where time, space, cell phones, cell phone towers, landlines, computers, laptops, Facebook, email, the internet, snail mail, telegrams, morse code, ham radios, vehicles and gas for which to drive to your home and visit you in person, carrier pigeons, and all other various means, methods, forms, and avenues of communication cease to exist.
Use social networking as your judge. If this person can find time to Facebook, tweet, stagram, tumbl, vine, etc., but somehow can't spare 5 seconds to respond to your text then you obviously know they are not dead and they clearly have good enough reception and access to communication devices to hit you up. This is a pretty good indication that they are just ignoring you... with one exception.
I'm actually taking my sweet ass time responding back to a very scrumptious man I'm legit interested in who is actually new dude I've begun moving on with from old, slightly younger dude who has now officially broken the 48 Hour Rule for the last fucking time as he is a repeat offender. I'm not blowing him off in the standard sense because I'm busy updating my blog which I will then share on my social networking profiles and pages... which will be immediately followed with a text to him so he doesn't get pissed off cause dudes are fucking sensitive creatures. But I know I've started a very short clock.
You'll drive yourself crazy speculating over it thinking what if and there must be some other reason why this person has suddenly just stopped talking to you. If that person is legitimately interested in you and knows they are going to be incommunicado for a couple days for whatever reason then they will give you a heads up about it so they know you know they aren't blowing you off.
Also, occasionally shit does happen where that person has some emergency situation that is of higher priority than you. Hence why the rule includes deaths and comas. Assume he or she died or is in a coma they will never wake up from, mourn their passing, and get on with your life. If this person comes back from the dead or wakes up 6 months later then YaY... But you'll probably have moved on by then.
Many times I will hear from a guy after 72 or 96 hours with some bullshit excuse and an apology. My response to that is usually something to the effect of "Oh good, you're alive." Then I either accept his apology and put him in check on my communication expectations and let him know I had started the moving on process... or I just blow him off in return because I've found someone else.
If this happens to you then how you choose to deal with the offender is at your discretion. It really depends on how much you like that person. Just be forewarned that person may be a repeat offender who will ghost out on you again and again until you get tired of it... much like I did with aforementioned old, slightly younger dude. Other times that warning shot is enough for them to get the point and come hell or high water they will always get that text in by the 46th hour.
Now for men, this rule is a little tricky because you are traditionally tasked with the role of being the initiators of contact with women... Meaning she's waiting for you to text or call and doing her best to be cool in the process. So if you're waiting 2 days for her to send a "Hey, how's it going?" text then you'll end up breaking the 48 Hour Rule for her since those texts are supposed to be your move. But if she doesn't respond for 48 hours once you've initiated contact then she's the rule breaker.
Why did I arbitrarily decide that 48 hours is the magic amount of time? Well, a lot can happen in a day and sometimes you just don't get a chance to contact someone or respond because all hell broke loose. But the odds of it breaking so loose for 2 days in row that you can't even find time to send a quick text responding to someone are pretty slim. Plus, if you've only been talking to this person for a couple weeks and maybe been on one or 2 dates then you really shouldn't be devoting more than about 2 days worth of your time being loyal to that person and waiting on them if they aren't responding to you.
If and when this 48 Hour Rule is broken, then 48 hours and one minute after whenever the time was you last heard from that person should be your cue you to begin the moving on process and find a new person to "talk to", date, or involve yourself with in a new intimate, undefined relationship.
People always want to dwell on all these what-ifs instead of facing reality... Maybe he didn't get my text. Maybe he was just busy. Maybe he lost his phone. Maybe he just suddenly fell off the face of the fucking planet where time, space, cell phones, cell phone towers, landlines, computers, laptops, Facebook, email, the internet, snail mail, telegrams, morse code, ham radios, vehicles and gas for which to drive to your home and visit you in person, carrier pigeons, and all other various means, methods, forms, and avenues of communication cease to exist.
Use social networking as your judge. If this person can find time to Facebook, tweet, stagram, tumbl, vine, etc., but somehow can't spare 5 seconds to respond to your text then you obviously know they are not dead and they clearly have good enough reception and access to communication devices to hit you up. This is a pretty good indication that they are just ignoring you... with one exception.
I'm actually taking my sweet ass time responding back to a very scrumptious man I'm legit interested in who is actually new dude I've begun moving on with from old, slightly younger dude who has now officially broken the 48 Hour Rule for the last fucking time as he is a repeat offender. I'm not blowing him off in the standard sense because I'm busy updating my blog which I will then share on my social networking profiles and pages... which will be immediately followed with a text to him so he doesn't get pissed off cause dudes are fucking sensitive creatures. But I know I've started a very short clock.
You'll drive yourself crazy speculating over it thinking what if and there must be some other reason why this person has suddenly just stopped talking to you. If that person is legitimately interested in you and knows they are going to be incommunicado for a couple days for whatever reason then they will give you a heads up about it so they know you know they aren't blowing you off.
Also, occasionally shit does happen where that person has some emergency situation that is of higher priority than you. Hence why the rule includes deaths and comas. Assume he or she died or is in a coma they will never wake up from, mourn their passing, and get on with your life. If this person comes back from the dead or wakes up 6 months later then YaY... But you'll probably have moved on by then.
Many times I will hear from a guy after 72 or 96 hours with some bullshit excuse and an apology. My response to that is usually something to the effect of "Oh good, you're alive." Then I either accept his apology and put him in check on my communication expectations and let him know I had started the moving on process... or I just blow him off in return because I've found someone else.
If this happens to you then how you choose to deal with the offender is at your discretion. It really depends on how much you like that person. Just be forewarned that person may be a repeat offender who will ghost out on you again and again until you get tired of it... much like I did with aforementioned old, slightly younger dude. Other times that warning shot is enough for them to get the point and come hell or high water they will always get that text in by the 46th hour.
Once the 48 Hour Rule has been broken, DO NOT attempt to initiate further communication. I repeat, DO NOT FUCKING CONTACT THIS PERSON AGAIN UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES OR FOR ANY REASON WITH THE EXCEPTION OF NOTIFYING THEM OF PREGNANCY OR CONTRACTION OF AN STD FROM THEM.
When someone you're interested in suddenly stops talking to you, it seems to be everyone's first inclination to send that "Is everything OK?" text. DO NOT DO IT! Odds are that person still won't respond to you so your second inclination will probably be to send the "Why aren't you talking to me?" text. That person still probably won't respond. So then your third inclination will be to send some kind of "What the fuck?" text. Then finally you'll send the "Well it's your loss cause I'm moving on so fuck you." text.
Honestly, not one damn bit of good can come from any of that. When you move on, you don't have to announce it. They probably don't care anyway so it's best not to bother. Just do it quietly. Sending those texts just makes you look psycho and affirms why that person doesn't want to deal with you. It could also be that maybe this person kind of liked you but is exploring his or her options. You're not in a committed relationship so they are free to do as they please without explanation... As are you. But sending those texts is a big turn off so you just took yourself out of the running of the options.
It's best to save those inclinations for when someone who you are in an actual, committed, legit relationship with breaks the rule.. Meaning you have straight up had a discussion and resulting agreement of mutual exclusivity regarding dating and sex. Now if that person breaks the 48 Hour Rule then you have a perfect right to get bitchy and go psycho and demand a reason for broken contact because they have restricted your ability to move on and date and fuck someone else without a formal ending to the relationship. But until you reach that point of commitment then your best response is just to do you... and maybe start doing somebody else who you will probably find you like better.
Honestly, 9 times out of 10 there is no special reason other than he or she is just not that into you. Dude told pathetic brunette girl that if a guy is interested in a girl he's going to make it happen. The same actually goes for both men and women because dudes often wonder whahappin if the object of their interest suddenly stops responding to them.
If I'm really interested in a man then I'm like brunette girl.. dopey and obsessing while I'm waiting for the dreamy dude I like to text me either for the first time that day or to respond to me. When he does, I wait at least a few minutes so as not to seem like I've been waiting all fucking day for my phone to go off... then I respond back as cool and casually as I'm capable of because my game is solid and I don't want to give him any sort of impression that I've been obsessing and waiting for this moment all fucking day. But I'm definitely making it happen and doing my part to reciprocate interest.
In the meantime while you're still in obsessive sad mode and realize you're getting blown off, find other ways to cope that don't involve staring at your phone because it will only make you more depressed. If typing a passive aggressive, vague Facebook status you know he'll probably see makes you feel better then go for it... within reason so you don't look psycho. Personally I like to type long winded passive aggressive blog posts instead because that's my coping mechanism. No one ever wants to be rejected by the person they like. The feeling of rejection is probably one of the shittiest of all feelings. Rather than accepting rejection you always want to give that person the benefit of the doubt... much like brunette chick did in the movie.
It really doesn't matter why or what you did because that person is clearly an asshole who either got turned off by something you did unintentionally or met someone else they like better and just didn't have the balls to tell you that you're not the one for them. As much as all of us have been brunette chick, we've all been that asshole who hoped someone would get the hint. I've had to break down and do my own dirty work because FCPD has made it clear they do not exist to end my relationships with obsessive men.
Regardless, all of it shows a lack of consideration and respect for you and you don't need that in your life. Know your value and find someone worthy who is willing to pay that price. Those who refuse are best left alone.
When someone you're interested in suddenly stops talking to you, it seems to be everyone's first inclination to send that "Is everything OK?" text. DO NOT DO IT! Odds are that person still won't respond to you so your second inclination will probably be to send the "Why aren't you talking to me?" text. That person still probably won't respond. So then your third inclination will be to send some kind of "What the fuck?" text. Then finally you'll send the "Well it's your loss cause I'm moving on so fuck you." text.
Honestly, not one damn bit of good can come from any of that. When you move on, you don't have to announce it. They probably don't care anyway so it's best not to bother. Just do it quietly. Sending those texts just makes you look psycho and affirms why that person doesn't want to deal with you. It could also be that maybe this person kind of liked you but is exploring his or her options. You're not in a committed relationship so they are free to do as they please without explanation... As are you. But sending those texts is a big turn off so you just took yourself out of the running of the options.
It's best to save those inclinations for when someone who you are in an actual, committed, legit relationship with breaks the rule.. Meaning you have straight up had a discussion and resulting agreement of mutual exclusivity regarding dating and sex. Now if that person breaks the 48 Hour Rule then you have a perfect right to get bitchy and go psycho and demand a reason for broken contact because they have restricted your ability to move on and date and fuck someone else without a formal ending to the relationship. But until you reach that point of commitment then your best response is just to do you... and maybe start doing somebody else who you will probably find you like better.
Honestly, 9 times out of 10 there is no special reason other than he or she is just not that into you. Dude told pathetic brunette girl that if a guy is interested in a girl he's going to make it happen. The same actually goes for both men and women because dudes often wonder whahappin if the object of their interest suddenly stops responding to them.
If I'm really interested in a man then I'm like brunette girl.. dopey and obsessing while I'm waiting for the dreamy dude I like to text me either for the first time that day or to respond to me. When he does, I wait at least a few minutes so as not to seem like I've been waiting all fucking day for my phone to go off... then I respond back as cool and casually as I'm capable of because my game is solid and I don't want to give him any sort of impression that I've been obsessing and waiting for this moment all fucking day. But I'm definitely making it happen and doing my part to reciprocate interest.
In the meantime while you're still in obsessive sad mode and realize you're getting blown off, find other ways to cope that don't involve staring at your phone because it will only make you more depressed. If typing a passive aggressive, vague Facebook status you know he'll probably see makes you feel better then go for it... within reason so you don't look psycho. Personally I like to type long winded passive aggressive blog posts instead because that's my coping mechanism. No one ever wants to be rejected by the person they like. The feeling of rejection is probably one of the shittiest of all feelings. Rather than accepting rejection you always want to give that person the benefit of the doubt... much like brunette chick did in the movie.
It really doesn't matter why or what you did because that person is clearly an asshole who either got turned off by something you did unintentionally or met someone else they like better and just didn't have the balls to tell you that you're not the one for them. As much as all of us have been brunette chick, we've all been that asshole who hoped someone would get the hint. I've had to break down and do my own dirty work because FCPD has made it clear they do not exist to end my relationships with obsessive men.
Regardless, all of it shows a lack of consideration and respect for you and you don't need that in your life. Know your value and find someone worthy who is willing to pay that price. Those who refuse are best left alone.
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