Happy Tuesday Theme Songs: Brand Spankin NEW Stuff and Twerkathon OH-13 - Who is the REAL King of Twerk?

Happy Tuesday My People! LOTS to get into today so let's do this! I can barely contain myself because there is so much new stuff out today or about to come out over the next few weeks... That's right folks, it seems it's Fall release time!

First up... I'm freaking DYING right now because the new 2 CHAINZ album B.O.A.T.S. II: Me Time which is set to be released officially on September 10th is being leaked bit by bit. That means we're about to get a rack of new 2 CHAINZ songs of the day!

So far you've heard 2 singles off the album, Netflix in yesterday's post Happy Monday Theme Songs: Super Fresh 2 CHAINZ, Twerkathon OH-13 - Twerking Trainwreck, and Wiz Khalifa! and Feds Watching in the post from a couple weeks ago that kicked this madness off Happy Monday Theme Songs From 2 Chainz!.

Here is another new one from the album that I'm feeling called Where U Been? featuring Cap 1...

Next up, don't act like you don't know it's time for today's installment of Twerkathon OH-13...

OK, so one of my proudest accomplishments recently was FINALLY learning how to make it clap. Here is the tutorial that I learned from because I think it's super helpful. What better way to learn how to clap your booty than from strippers since I'm pretty sure they invented that move? For real, you'll know you're doing it right because you will hear a clap sound.

Now let's get into something that I find super funny whilst we practice our new-found booty clapping skills... Who the F is the REAL "King of Twerk"?!?!?

Currently Diplo is out declaring himself as the King of Twerk. Between his outright productions and those under his Major Lazer project he's got all kinds of girls all around the world "expressing themselves" all over walls and furniture. He's also currently running a little instagram video submission contest where ladies are sending 15 second videos demonstrating their twerking skills.

(Ladies, before you get excited and make videos to start showing off your twerking skills that may be newly acquired due to this blog, bear in mind that if you do that then your bare booty will be on the internet for the entire world to see and hundreds of thousands of his followers to comment on. I've been reading the comments and some of them are pretty vicious.)

However, the number of actual twerking songs he's produced is quite lacking and the ones that exist are super hard to find... Believe me, I had to do some digging just to find this one for today. It's a track off the Kick Ass 2 movie soundtrack and it's called Earthquake. He co-produced it with DJ Fresh.. Real quick by the way, LOVE DJ FRESH! LOVE HIM LIKE IT'S MY FREAKING JOB! HAVE LOVED HIM SINCE BUZZ DAYS! VIRAM FOREVER!)

Anyway, between Earthquake, Express Yourself, like 2 others I can't find on YouTube, and some Major Lazer joints, which bear in mind are co-produced so Twerk King credit must be shared, the number of actual twerking tracks is pretty limited. He's pretty much coasting on current fan volume. So does this qualify him?

Fans can be fickle and their attention spans are short. If you don't continue to stay relevant enough then they're gone like the wind... and lemmetellyasomething, Diplo is 34 years old. Do you know how hard it is to be in your 30's and stay relevant to teenagers and people in their early 20's? Basically, I think if another newer, hotter, younger guy comes along and puts out a better song girls like "expressing themselves" to more then, unfortunately, it's Bye Bye Diplo. (Sidenote: When that happens, because it WILL happen, I would like to see a 2 stage twerk-off.. Kind of like Scott Pilgrim when the gorilla comes out and kills the dragon. Make it happen. Make it happen now.)

Now, there is another man out there who identifies himself as the King of Twerk and his name is K-Stylis. This man has a rack of twerk songs that call out specific booty bouncing instructions like it's a stripper square dance. I dare you. I triple.. NO.. I quadruple dog dare you to keep up with how fast he calls them out. Best Workout EVER!

So K-Stylis has the volume and if you search him on YouTube he definitely has the following too. The only problem with his claim though is that he is still lost in obscurity and has not put out anything new in about a year. I personally have become all about some K-Stylis so somebody please let that man know he needs to put out a new album. I will take it to the streets and promote it myself because that's how much I want that to happen. Maybe he and Diplo need to team up on something. (If that actually happens then somebody owes me a rack of money for suggesting it.)

However, I was always under the impression that the real Kings of Twerk were the Ying Yang Twins. By sheer volume and following they definitely had that crown for years...

Unfortunately though, they haven't put anything new out in awhile either... So alas, they lost their crown.

For me though, there is only one man I believe is the real King of Twerk. He's got the volume. He's got the following. And for real, I don't give a crap how old he is, he will ALWAYS be relevant... So relevant he still comes out with new stuff that just stays hot. This is hotness which has spanned 3 decades. That man's name is Mannie Fresh. 

Rumor has it that he has reconciled with Birdman and they are supposed to be getting back into the studio. Puhhhhleeeeeezzzzz let this rumor be true! Before I die, I just want Mannie Fresh, Juvenile, Birdman, and Lil Wayne to do a Cash Money Millionaires Hot Boyz Reunion.

  

That's not just good ish right there... That is the BEST ish right there. If you don't know, act like you know because you should.

Next, I promised you some more brand spankin NEW stuff so here goes... Thanks to the all-knowing 2 CHAINZ on Twitter, I found out that 3 albums dropped today: 1) Big Sean's Hall of Fame, 2) Juicy J's Stay Trippy, and 3) Goodie Mob's Age Against the Machine. Big day for hip hop for real...

So first, Big Sean's Hall of Fame... Hated it! Well, not entirely... I just couldn't really get down to the songs I listened to because Big Sean basically gets out-rapped on every track I heard including this one featuring Juicy J and Nicki Minaj. Frankly Nicki Minaj is a beast and dudes who aren't Lil Wayne, 2 CHAINZ, and Drake need to either step up their game or stop letting her be on their tracks because she shuts them down. Get 'em gurrrrrlllll...

Next is Juicy J's Stay Trippy... Hated it! Yeah, I mean that one... which is sad because I freaking love me some Academy Award Winning Three Six Mafia like you don't even know. It's basically a collection of boring, tired stripper anthems that took WAY too long to release as an entire album. And when I say stripper anthems, I mean every song I've heard off this album is about strippers, strippers, strip clubs, and more strippers. Maybe the album took a year to release because Juicy J was too busy making it rain.

The first single Bandz A Make Her Dance was released nearly a year ago on 9/11/2012. Seriously, I can't stand this song...

Also, Bounce It featuring the DMV's own Wale and the R. Kelly of our generation, Trey Songz, sounds exactly like Bandz which makes it boring...

And he gets out-rapped by A$ap Rocky on Scholarship... which also sounds way too similar to the other songs...

Finally, Goodie Mob has reunited after 14 years and released Age Against the Machine... All I can say is, who the F doesn't like Goodie Mob?!?! Cee-Lo is bananas dude. This song called Special Education featuring Janelle Monae is the jam and it has such a positive message. It's on the same page that I've been preaching from about how you should celebrate being a unique individual and not dim your shine for anybody and be "normal" just to gain acceptance.

 

Just be happy and do you... BOOM!