The FCKC War with ACI Part 5: The Judges, The Judging, and the Outdated, Arbitrarily Non-Officially Changed Rules

The Reality Of Just How Unfair The Situation REALLY Is…

For this next part, just in case you want a reference point, here are the Official Rules posted on the Celebrate Fairfax Website.

So of course, we've already gotten into the issue over the profanity rule that was not adhered to and flouted... which if you were reading The FCKC War with ACI - Part 4: More Aftermath and F You to Some People you'd know apparently has unofficial loopholes. Per Anthony, the Director of Celebrate Fairfax said "If it's on the radio then it's OK." Well, that is not what the Official Rules say. The radio allows quite a few curse words to be said and the list of those words is constantly growing. So we already know that is subject to bias and interpretation.

Now let's explore a few other issues that create problems for this karaoke contest.

First, this rule was arbitrarily changed and disregards the official posted rules as well:

1. Contestants will be judged in the following five categories:

I. Physical Presentation

II. Crowd Reaction and Participation

III. Choreography/Entertainment Ability

IV. Vocal Presentation

V. Overall Performance

Now here is the part that really matters...

"2. Each contestant shall be judged on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the lowest and 10 being the

highest score for each category (i.e. the lowest score possible is a 5 and the highest is a 50 from each judge)."

Well, that is not what Anthony aka Fingaz told us in his messages and official posts...

"Did you know? The Celebrate Fairfax Contest is judged on an 80 point scale, divided into the following categories:

Physical (10 pts):

I like to call this one the "extra credit" category; let's say you're singing Prince and you show up onstage in a royal purple 3/4 coat wearing a ruffled shirt, purple pants, and carrying a prop guitar? EXTRA POINTS. Singing Diana Ross, and you take the stage in a flowing sequined gown? EXTRA POINTS. Belting out "Thriller" and you wear the zippered jacket and a sparkly glove? Well, you get the point. LITERALLY.

Crowd Participation (10 pts):

This deals with the audience's reaction to your performance, and how they participate with you during your performance.

Choreography (20 pts):

your entertainment ability and how you express the mood of the song. does not necessarily mean how well you dance.

Vocal Ability (20 pts):

the individual quality of your voice in relation to the rhythm of the music; how well you blend with the music

Overall (20 pts):

pretty self explanatory; your total performance.

Hope this helps break down some of the questions you may have."

So how and when did the point scale change from all categories being equally weighted at 10 points per item to Choreography, Vocal Ability, and Overall being raised to 20 points per item? And if it did then why were the Official Rules not updated to reflect it?

Also, we have no clue what our scores are. They never tell us. It's entirely possible Glenn and Anthony could've lied about my score to help cover their BS. How would I know? I actually think each contestant should receive a copy of their scorecards so they know exactly who scored them how and comments about why. That would eliminate any issues with confusion over what happened. You would then know your total score and exactly why you lost. It would create transparency because then you are able to compare your scorecards with other contestants if you wish to and also have written suggestions to help you improve for future competitions. As it stands now we have no clue what our scores are/were so there is no way to know how or why the people who won actually beat us “sore losers”.

Next, there is another rule that states:

"6. Contestants, their family or associates are not allowed to have contact with a competition

judge before or during any competition connected with Celebrate Fairfax, Inc. Contact

includes verbal conversations and handshakes."

Well that's pretty hard to adhere to when a lot of the contestants are friends with the judges because they come out to the karaoke shows in the area, particularly those of Anthony aka Fingaz. Last year, two of the judges actually came up to a group of the semifinalists sitting by the stage before the contest and said "Hello" to all of us. Fingaz actually came over and said "We don't want another situation like last year" and then they said they couldn't continue talking to us and walked away. (Remember this, it is important). 

In fact, one of the judges spoke to several of us prior to the Wild Card Round because we were saying "Hello" to our friend. I didn't even know this person was a judge until several minutes into the conversation when they finally told me. Technically, we should've been disqualified too per the rule. But how are we supposed to distinguish between our friend who is just there to support us and our friend who is there because he is one of the judges? They should be wearing signs or t-shirts or at least know to tell us at the beginning of the conversation "I can't speak to you right now because I am one of the judges."

But, this is where the perception of bias begins. Anthony aka Fingaz claimed I accused him of some kind of conspiracy I guess in what I said on my Facebook profile in The FCKC War with ACI - Part Three: The Aftermath and Love to Glenn. I did not. I simply stated the truth about a situation that happened in 2011 with the judging.

OK, so in 2011 what had happened was Avi, the kid who won 1st Place for 2 years consecutively, finally lost to Reggie. Avi's father complained to Anthony aka Fingaz and said that the only reason Reggie won was because he was shown favoritism. Mr. Jackson saw Lou and Reggie talking so he knew Reggie was friends with one of the judges, Lou, and he also saw Reggie's mother sitting on the stage behind Mr. Fingaz during the contest. 

Like I said, Reggie is an AMAZING singer who legit deserved to win. I didn't get to know him or his mom as well as I do now until after the contest but I didn't see anything wrong or unfair about how it all went down. However, word around the campfire is that Mr. Jackson threatened to sue over it and they updated the rules for the next year. This is why if you win 1st Place you can't compete again and have to be a judge.

So, Semifinals in 2012.. The situation in 2011 is why Fingaz came over and told Reggie and Lou not to talk to us, the contestants, anymore. But here is what got everybody riled up... Avi and his sister were both Semifinalists that year and they both made it through to the Finals. Now, Avi is a beast and his win was to be expected. However, the conspiracy came about because of his sister. She is not as animated and does not have the same stage presence that Avi does. People believed she only got put through because their father complained the year before so the contest was basically rigged.

Now is that true? Honestly, I don't know. I really hope that it's not because I really want to believe that Lou and Reggie actually have the moral integrity that I give them credit for... But, could it be true? It is possible. And even if it's not, the truth is still irrelevant because all that matters is the way it looks.

The judges are not some trained professionals who are qualified with actual credentials that would give them any sort of standing to tell you anything in any real way about your performance. They are friends of Mr. Fingaz. This is another problem that creates issues over bias and unfairness. This is why there have been questions every year.


Also, there is a rule that states:

“Decisions of the judges are final. No arguing with judges is allowed. Any contestant, their family or associates who argue with a judge may be deemed to be using offensive behavior and the contestant may be disqualified from the competition.”

So basically they created a rule specifically to keep you from being able to disagree with Mr. Fingaz’s friends who are not necessarily even qualified to tell you, or your child in some cases, a single thing about what happened. Up until the wee hours of Sunday morning, I was one of his friends and could have very well been a judge had I not been a participant in the contest. Do you think I’d have given a crap if you’d wanted to argue with me if I judged you? NOPE! I’d have said bring it on because I’ll stand behind any decision I make. 

THESE ARE THE ONLY TWO QUALIFICATIONS FOR BEING A JUDGE DURING ANY ROUND OF THIS CONTEST AT ANY VENUE INCLUDING THE FAIR… 1) BE A FRIEND OF MR. FINGAZ, 2) CANNOT BE A CONTESTANT. THAT IS IT.

After the issues in 2011 and 2012, I suggested that they should have people from NBC4 since they partner with Celebrate Fairfax. I also suggested they could get some music teachers from local schools to judge, which would highlight the fact that Arts programs are being cut and maybe have some sort of fund raising tie-in that helps the community. This would've eliminated the perception of bias with the judges and made the contest a lot more fair.

Obviously my suggestions were not considered or implemented for 2013 and neither were anyone else's. Had they been we would probably not be in this situation year after year. Maybe these blog posts will make the difference for next year... or not.

To be continued.... Part 6 is coming up!

And just in case you missed them:

The FCKC War with ACI - Part One
FCKC War Footnote - Miss Slik's Advice On Burning Bridges and BONUS THEME SONG!
The FCKC War with ACI - Part Two: The Incident at The Fair Friday Night

The FCKC War with ACI - Part Three: The Aftermath and Love to Glenn
The FCKC War with ACI - Part 4: More Aftermath and F You to Some People

The FCKC War with ACI - Part 4: More Aftermath and F You to Some People

Saturday Night/Early Sunday Morning:

Ya know, I had actually been debating about whether or not to keep my word and put this stuff in the blog. I was having a change of heart and thinking maybe I should leave it alone... until I saw ALL of this on Anthony aka Fingaz's Facebook profile…

Here is what's funny... I had an argument with my friend Champ on Facebook several months ago and posted something passive agressive. Anthony felt the need to comment and tell me how immature I was being for having aired it out on Facebook. Well, at least my post was only about one person and he and I resolved things. Anthony's THREE posts to follow were about MULTIPLE PEOPLE... MULTIPLE. People in our group that call him a friend.

Quick note...

Please refer to the screenshots below and see if your name is listed. We can talk about this privately if you like. Depending on who you are, if you are one of the main offenders and haven’t already been de-friended then you very soon might be. Should you wish to go ahead and take that step on your own, please feel free to do it. We are supposed to all be “friends.” I know for a fact that means more to some of you than others.

You ALL know that the people who Anthony aka Fingaz referred to are people you are probably “friends” with. I’ve never said one single ill word about quite a few of you, and if I have you know because I said it to your face directly. Obviously this respect was not returned. The thing YOU ALL should reevaluate is how you treat your friends. I’m not the first, nor the only, “friend” any of you have been quick to turn on. I don't really want to be "friends" with several of you anymore which is why I don't care about posting the screenshots below.

Also, please bear in mind, there is not a single one of you that has not been the subject of some bashing at points in the past. We already had this discussion when I went on the last rampage during the Champ situation. Clearly, nobody learned a lesson. Maybe this time you will learn to be nicer people and treat your "friends" better.

Actually, the comments in this post about making it like The Voice would probably make the contest more fair... But I don't think it would happen because most of the people who commented on all this NEVER tell their friends ANYTHING to their faces... Only behind their backs like this... But they think this counts because technically it's done in a passive aggressive way and we should know it's about us... Well, now you do!

Also, YES LARRY... I second the show idea for "Cut Throat Karaoke"... We should have a show about the drama... Just send the series of these posts to Bravo and MTV and maybe we can make that happen.

This also did not help the situation....

Here are the expanded comments on the above post... Just FYI BTW, Lou is the judge that is referred to in what Anthony calls the "conspiracy" I somehow accused people of... Whatever.. I hit Lou up privately. His comments to me about how great of a singer and performer I am clearly were contradicted... Also, let's keep this in perspective.. This is what the Host of the Contest, his wife, and a Judge on the panel at Celebrate Fairfax for the past 2 years all think about you... Mediocre and talentless people who just can't cut it. Good to know right? Fills you with warm fuzzy thoughts all over right? Yeah.

And finally, THIS… which is when I couldn’t let it go anymore….

“Anthony, you know I have zero qualms about calling myself out as one of the people who complained about the language and fairness on adhering to the rules. I have a Bachelors degree in Communication with a concentration in PR and a minor in Business. I can take anybody to task all day on FCC guidelines and regulations and stipulate every notable case law in the process because I studied it for school. Did you know FCC laws allow the words bitch and ass to be said on both radio and TV? Did you also know that Safe Harbor laws allow for the seven dirty words to be used after 10pm? Going by FCC guidelines anybody could've done any profane song they wanted in the Finals tonight just FYI. However, are you going to tell me that if I'd gotten up and sang Bitch by Meredith Brooks (which btw was listed on your list as a "clean" song along with Cypress Hill, NIN, and 2 Chainz) that that wouldn't have raised a single eyebrow or question regarding my language in my song choice? Could I have done Hits From The Bong as well? That was on the "clean" list and considering the amount of young people in the audience last night I'd have probably gotten an even more overwhelming crowd response than I did singing House of the Rising Sun (which was way more than either lady who broke the rules).. "Hell" I'd have even had a nice prop for that song! But I didn't perform it because I followed the rules despite your messing up on that "clean" list. The rules say no profanity or questionable language. Unless the word "hell" is used in the Biblical sense, it is considered foul/questionable language... much like the word "bitch" while appropriate when referring to female dogs becomes a foul word when used as a derogatory term applying to women. If a grade school aged child heard "Let me get a big HELL YEAH for all the redneck girls like me" at the fair and repeated that in school, that child would be disciplined and that child's parents would have to explain that their kid heard a contestant at your show at the fair singing that song. How good of a look is that? I have a point and so do the other people who complained. But yet, reading comments lumping me and them in as being stupid, talentless "sore losers" who aren't good enough to make it into the semifinals, especially when I have been a semifinalist the past 2 years sure seems super fair and completely right to me. I'm a paid professional musician and a damn good singer whether you, Lou, Karen, and anyone else commenting on all this agree with that or not. I certainly know plenty of other people who would beg to differ with your opinion. You and Glenn were in the wrong and you know it.. obviously well enough you informed the singers today not to pick songs with that same profane language and went to the Director because you weren't even sure. Sounds to me like the person you spoke with needs to familiarize himself with FCC laws as well because clearly he doesn't have a good understanding of what he is agreeing with... But I guarantee you by the time I get done, he damn sure will. Not a sermon dude, just a thought.”

 

For those of you who were so quick to pick a side and cared about whether you picked the right one, I leave you with these words… Don’t base your allegiance on somebody who is on a power trip and takes advantage of their position. One thing I learned in my Coda/AcA recovery is to be prepared to sever any and all ties and end any relationships of any nature in my life when my boundaries are not respected.

Let me also point out that one of those people is the person I had a discussion with during the 12 minutes I was waiting to call Glenn back. This person threw me under a bus to Anthony and commented on this post thanking him for dealing with the drama because he was mad at me for my suggestion about righting the wrongs done in the Wild Card... Why? Because it would've taken time away from Open Karaoke at the Fair. Let me repeat.. I GOT THROWN UNDER A BUS FOR DEFENDING A GROUP OF PEOPLE BECAUSE OF OPEN KARAOKE!!!

Ya'll need an intervention and a freaking 12 Step program for your karaoke addiction. Let this be it.

  Did you know Anthony accused me of being drunk because of this one picture....

When I posted this stuff up dedicated to Glenn which is also in Happy Tuesday People! Some Theme Songs for Your Day.... Warm Up to the FCKC War! 

 And he also said I accused people of cheating and also said he was guilty of some sort of conspiracy theory and referred to the screenshots from The FCKC War with ACI - Part Three: The Aftermath and Love to Glenn

Also, he brought up the names I called those 2 contestants which I explained in The FCKC War with ACI - Part Two: The Incident at The Fair Friday Night

How do I feel about all this? Well I already explained this to Alanna in a comment the other day when I posted Part One on my Facebook profile...

TO ANYBODY WHO HAS A PROBLEM WITH THIS POST OR MY BLOG OR ME PLEASE KNOW THAT I MEANT EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY WORD OF THIS...

I NEVER ACCUSED ANYONE OF CHEATING OR CONSPIRACY. ALL I DID WAS STATE FACTS AND CALL PEOPLE IN CHARGE OF A CONTEST OUT OVER NOT ADHERING TO A HARDCORE STATED OFFICIAL RULE. ANYBODY WHO HAS A PROBLEM WITH ME OVER IT CAN GO FUCK THEMSELVES! YEAH, I SAID FUCK.


Hold up....

Stay tuned for The FCKC War with ACI Part 5: The Judges, The Judging, and the Outdated, Arbitrarily Non-Officially Changed Rules

And just in case you missed them:

The FCKC War with ACI - Part One
FCKC War Footnote - Miss Slik's Advice On Burning Bridges and BONUS THEME SONG!
The FCKC War with ACI - Part Two: The Incident at The Fair Friday Night

The FCKC War with ACI - Part Three: The Aftermath and Love to Glenn

The FCKC War with ACI - Part Three: The Aftermath and Love to Glenn

The following facebook things are relevant to parts of this story which will be coming up shortly. I encourage you to read all parts in order because they are referenced again and again and again....

Friday Night:

This was my status update I posted about my dissatisfaction with what happened at the Fair...

Saturday Morning:

And originally I really was only going to say this and call it a day... Obviously, I'm now saying quite a bit more....

“On a personal level I like Anthony and think he's a nice person. Personally, I consider him a friend and appreciate his support he has given me in that capacity. However, on a professional level, while I do think Fingaz (note I use his professional name professional name deliberately to distinguish) is a fantastic karaoke DJ, I think he handled the situation last night poorly. I was a competitor in a contest he was in charge of running on behalf of Associated Consultants and believe that Fingaz the KDJ dropped the ball.

Allowing at least 2 contestants through who had profanity in their songs and then calling me a sore loser for questioning that judgment and then blaming the judges is not cool. I'll bet you anything he took it seriously when Avi's father questioned the fairness of the contest when Reggie won 2 years ago based on his observation that Reggie was shown favoritism because of his friendship with Lou as he saw them talking before the contest. I don't necessarily believe that is true... and whether that is true or not is irrelevant. The claim was substantiated and taken seriously and action was taken to prevent further issues.

So why was my questioning the fairness taken less seriously? I'm not your friend in that moment. I'm a contestant going for a cash prize in a contest that you are being paid to run.. A contestant lodging a complaint, not to the judges that keep in mind were picked by Fingaz, but to the person in charge of the contest who should be the final word to question the decision of those judges he picked and override said decision they make. I did question the judges and have in the past for other levels of the competition. It gets me nowhere. I take it straight to the host who is supposed to be in charge who in this case claimed no responsibility. So who is responsible? Should I speak with Associated Consultants or Celebrate Fairfax? Are they responsible?

At the end of the day the judges aren't the ones who will be held responsible if someone complains about the profanity to the people in charge of Celebrate Fairfax, the host of the stage who allowed the profanity and Associated Consultants will be. I have heard him call people up to the stage and ask them to change their song choice because they picked songs with profanity and reminding them that it is not allowed. I understand that some slip through which is what happened with jelly pants. She sang a more obscure song where hell was hidden in there one time... which she knew regardless and made a choice to sing that song. But he admitted that he allowed another winning contestant who sang Redneck Woman to sing her song despite knowing it had "Hell Yeah" repeated several times throughout the song.

The rules of the contest stipulate that contestants are responsible for both knowing and adhering to the rules, particularly the rule about profanity being prohibited in songs at the fair because it is a family friendly place where children are running around along with parents attempting to shield their children and various people of numerous religions who don't use profanity nor tolerate it's usage. Those women made a conscious choice to flout the rules either because they didn't read the rules or just didn't choose to follow them.

In the end though, allowing at least 2 contestants through who had profanity in their songs instead of disqualifying them shows that this contest is more like Pirates of the Caribbean where there are no rules, just subjective guidelines that can be disregarded at will based on hidden loopholes and lack of accountability. It demonstrates to other contestants like me who did follow the rules and picked squeaky clean songs that clearly this contest is not fairly run.”

I called my friend Lauren, a friend and fellow competitor who had already made it into the Semifinals but came out to the Fair Friday night to support the contestants in the Wild Card Round. I asked her advice about whether or not to contact Glenn from ACI to discuss the situation with the Wild Card round. She said she agreed that it was a good idea and to do it sooner rather than later just in case it made a difference.

So I called Glenn and informed him of what happened and also mentioned that I had tried the night before to discuss this with Anthony and that he called me a sore loser. Glenn told me that he was already aware because there were other complaints.

***Hold the phone!! Real Quick!!! Let me state this for the record... I WAS NOT THE ONLY PERSON, NOR EVEN THE FIRST PERSON TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS SITUATION TO GLENN.

IF YOU WERE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE, CYBER HIGH FIVE TO YOU! I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW WHICH OF YOU WERE THE OTHERS WHO COMPLAINED SO PLEASE FEEL FREE TO COMMENT PUBLICLY OR MESSAGE ME PRIVATELY. JUST FYI, PRIVATE MESSAGES WILL BE KEPT CONFIDENTIAL I PROMISE.
 
Glenn didn't really understand where I was coming from and told me the word “hell” is not a curse word. He said that ministers use it. I agreed that used in the Biblical sense it is not, but in the context of the song Redneck Woman, it is cursing. He then asked me to call him back in 10 minutes because he needed to make a call.

When I called him back about 12 minutes later, his tone had completely changed from just agitated to straight up rude. He said he had just spoken with Anthony and that my score wasn't high enough it would have made a difference anyway so I was just being a sore loser. Well, they don't show us the score cards so for all I know he could've just been lying to cover himself and Anthony. (Truth, we really don't know what our scores are and nobody really tells us). Either way, my response to him was, "Even if it wouldn't have made a difference for me it still would've made a difference for two other people."

I told him what I was told by one of the judges, that I was part of a 5-way tie along with Coyote Ugly, who broke the rules should've been disqualified, was somehow put over the rest of us by Judge #3. He told me, "Oh, it's against the rules to speak with the judges so you would've been disqualified anyway." I told him "Anthony told me to take it up with the judges so I did!"

I asked him if the other people he mentioned who complained were sore losers as well. His response was “Yes.” So basically, if you complained regardless then you were just being a sore loser… even though people who weren’t participating in the contest or were already through to the next round agreed with us “sore losers” about the unfairness of the situation.

He was like, "Are you still there?" I replied "Yes." He basically said he didn't understand why we were still on the phone talking about this to which I responded, because he hadn't said what he intended to do about it. Nothing. I was like, "This was your mistake! What the F is that?"

I even offered up a suggestion that because it was too late to disqualify those women that instead they should either re-do the Wild Card Round or just let all the contestants who showed up Friday night through to the Semifinals and figure out how to fit that in because they made a mistake that screwed over a lot of people. 

Glenn did not see it that way. His final opinion on the situation was "hell" is not a swear word. The official rules were not broken. No mistake was made at all. The "Clean" list was basically infallible. OH YEAH, and we are all just sore losers.

I was like, "Aren't you the owner of Associated Consultants?" He said, "Yes." I said, "This is your company and your name. Do you understand how bad this looks?" He basically responded that he didn't care and I was just being a sore loser.

I asked him if he was aware that I write a blog. He was not. So I told him this was all going in the blog. He still didn't care. HE ALSO DID NOT TELL ME I COULD NOT PUT ALL THIS ON HERE. Why would he care? He thinks he was right. Well, I beg to differ buddy! Anyway, I at least thanked him for his time as politely as I could and got off the phone.

Clean song list my butt by the way... I looked through this list and find a ton of songs that are inappropriate. I encourage you to do the same.

Here is the list that was posted in the Facebook group for contestants:

ACI Songlist 03.29.2013 (Clean) - Artist Sort.pdf

Also, here is another supposedly "Clean" list from the Associated Consultants Inc. website that Celebrate Fairfax has posted as the official song list as well:

CELEBRATE FAIRFAX 2013 SONGLIST!

The love songs dedicated to Glenn in Happy Tuesday People! Some Theme Songs for Your Day.... Warm Up to the FCKC War! were from the first list which was supposed to be SUPER CLEAN...

Anyway, stay tuned for The FCKC War with ACI - Part 4: More Aftermath and F You to Some People coming soon...

And just in case you missed them:
The FCKC War with ACI - Part One
FCKC War Footnote - Miss Slik's Advice On Burning Bridges and BONUS THEME SONG!
The FCKC War with ACI - Part Two: The Incident at The Fair Friday Night

The FCKC War with ACI - Part Two: The Incident at The Fair Friday Night

So what actually happened and why is the whole of Northern Virginia’s Karaoke Circuit going buck on Facebook? Here is whahappin…

Friday night several people, including myself, braved the remnants of a tropical storm to compete in the Wild Card Round at Celebrate Fairfax. At the Fair, three contestants sang songs with light profanity in them… songs that included the words “hell” and “damn”.

 What really upset people were two of these contestants, which I have affectionately nicknamed Coyote Ugly and Jelly Pants, won and made it through to the Semifinals despite having broken the official posted rules of foul/questionable language being prohibited… the breaking of said rules supposedly results in the violating contestant(s) disqualification from the contest.. which did not happen obviously.

Now, unless these words are used in the Biblical sense, i.e. “He was damned to the eternal flames of Hell” they are considered swearing. In the context they were used during the songs performed, they are definitely not referring to condemnation to H-E-Double Hockey Sticks. So these people basically swore in front of kids in a karaoke contest at a city fair. Does anybody agree with me on that somehow being wrong and inappropriate?

Now real quick, ya’ll know that I curse like a drunken sailor both in person and on this blog cause Honey Badger don't give a shit… BUT I DO NOT USE BAD LANGUAGE IN FRONT OF CHILDREN. That is where I draw the line. There has to be a line somewhere or we just have nothing but chaos and anarchy.

One of the contestants in particular sang Gretchen Wilson’s Redneck Woman, which is not exactly what a lot of people would consider an uber-family-friendly song that somebody in a karaoke contest should be singing in the food court of a city fair. It’s a little inappropriate and shows a lack of taste and consideration for the children and parents just trying to get a hot dog at the food truck within earshot in the rain of all things.

However, what has everybody’s knickers all a-twisted is the fact that, like I said, there is an official posted rule on the Celebrate Fairfax and ACI website which states:

“1. The semi-final and final rounds are family friendly competitions. Absolutely NO foul

language or questionable lyrics during contestants’ performances or otherwise while

participating in the contest. If you are not sure if your song choice is appropriate, please

email Nikki at Nikki.Robinson@FairfaxCounty.Gov with “Karaoke Competition” in the

subject line and include the following information: your name, phone number, email

address, the name of the song, artist, and version (if other then the original).

2. Songs containing vulgar or explicit sex lyrics will not be allowed. Contestants who, during their performance, use vulgar lyrics or perform in an obscene manner will be disqualified from competition. (Please refer to Semi-Final and Final Competitions Rule #1).”

For those of you who read Anthony’s (Fingaz) posts on Facebook, I don’t know if he deleted this comment before he blocked me but Coyote Ugly and Jelly Pants are associated nicknames I used in my posts on my own profile because I do not know the real names of the 2 ladies we’re going to discuss. Even if I did, I don’t really want to drag their real names into this anyway.

 Coyote Ugly refers to the trendy, rumpled cowboy hat made popular by the characters in the movie Coyote Ugly that the lady who sang Redneck Woman wore during her performance and also when I’ve seen her around at other karaoke shows. 

Here is an example of what I'm talking about.... This style of hat is not flattering on anybody just FYI BTW...

http://www.coyoteuglysaloon.com/store/images/urban_cowboy_hat.jpg

She’s not a very approachable person. She’s really annoying, does not seem to know how to follow directions even on simple things like signing up for a karaoke song at a show (which is part of why I’m still dumbfounded this woman even made it to the Fair), dresses like she thinks she’s more attractive or younger than she is, and also looks kind of masculine. Again, I’m not just basing this on one night. I’m basing this on multiple times of seeing this woman out and hearing her sing, especially one night at Fast Eddie’s Fairfax several weeks ago.

Now, was referring to her as a man-lady very nice? No. But does she kind of look and sound like one? Yes. Her performance at the Fair was very awkward and her vocal quality was severely lacking. She also sang a song with “light” profanity that also talks about things like lingerie from Victoria’s Secret which kind of made people throw up in their mouths a little. I’m sorry but it’s true. The crowd response she got was more from people being appalled and laughing at her than from people who genuinely appreciated her performance.

This is why so many people, including myself were shocked that she won and left wondering if she perhaps slept with the white guy I’m going to refer to as Judge #3 prior to the contest or somehow promised him weird sexual favors after the contest if he picked her. She may have even been related to him. I don’t know. But this is the judge that sank FIVE other people in a tie-breaker over this ONE woman. How do I know this? Because one of the judges straight up told me what happened after the contest was over. Which one? I’ll never tell so don’t bother asking me.

 Jelly Pants refers to the other lady’s liquid leggings she wore during her performance. I call liquid leggings jelly pants because they look like they have been slicked up with KY Jelly and are ready for scuba diving. This is not an insult because I actually think liquid leggings are very cute and have wanted a pair for a while but can never find them.

Boom! Jelly Pants... This bitch is ready for the deep sea diving... Maybe if I'd called her Scuba Pants instead though people would've been less dumb.

http://stylesforless.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/4/0/405000097386-a.jpg

What’s sad is had I not been in uber-competitive mode I’d probably have asked the lady where she got her pants. She actually sang very well and only cursed one time in her song. I actually saw her sitting in the audience towards the end of the contest and she had changed into some sneakers and put on a hoodie. She looked like somebody’s mom who just likes to sing and is actually very talented, never made it as a professional singer and is now too old to get anywhere, and this is probably a really big deal for her. This woman is me in about 10-15 years so I feel her in ways I can’t even begin to describe.

Anyway, it was actually around then that I was asked by my friend who my picks were if I weren’t in it, my response was “Avi , obviously, Roland, and Jelly Pants over there… but she did curse in her song a little bit so I don’t know.” I really did say that and have witnesses and shut up to any haters who don’t believe me.

Is anybody at least seeing the parallel here though? If you were actually there that night or have seen the two ladies I’m speaking of perform, please let me know if you think I’m off base or wrong here. I got called a bunch of things over this so I just want to make sure I’m being fair and accurate to some extent.

To Be Continued... Get ready for FCKC War Footnote - Miss Slik's Advice On Burning Bridges and BONUS THEME SONG!  and The FCKC War with ACI - Part Three: The Aftermath and Love to Glenn ....

Also in case you've just come in, here is The FCKC War with ACI - Part One

The FCKC War with ACI - Part One

As promised in my post Happy Tuesday People! Some Theme Songs for Your Day.... Warm Up to the FCKC War! I said I was going to break down all the drama for you over this whole FCKC thing and my war with ACI... I've been drafting this post since yesterday and it is up to 9 pages at this point in Word.. Yeah NINE PAGES... So I'm going to break this up into several parts so you can go ahead and start reading....

Without any further adieu, here is Part One.... of... The FCKC WAR!

So for the past 3 months pretty much all of my spare time has been dedicated to competing in the Fairfax County Karaoke Championship. My friend Andie refers to these 3 months as “Karaoke Season”. It is when karaoke ceases to be something you do for drunken fun and turns into a Battle Royale blood sport of insanity where people become psycho competitive frenemies. 

Think of that one line from Miss Congeniality when Sandra Bullock says something to the effect of we smile to each other's faces while secretly hoping they trip and fall on those faces on stage... And go flat and sharp... and stumble during their choreography.. and rip their pants, etc.

In case you are wondering, the answer is YES. This is what I neglected you fine interwebs people for all these times and I’m terribly sorry because you all mean so much more to me than a stupid karaoke title and money (I actually mean that and you will find out why towards the end of all these posts in my closing thoughts).

For those who do not know, the Fairfax County Karaoke Championship is a contest run by Associated Consultants, Inc. (ACI) in conjunction with Celebrate Fairfax. The Qualifying rounds take place in various venues throughout Fairfax County, and as of 2013 its neighboring areas which I think is wrong because they aren’t in Fairfax County, from the beginning of March through about the 3rd-4th week of May. You compete at these various venues and there are winners every week.

These winners all come back the week of May leading up to Memorial Day Weekend to compete in the Venue Finals for each venue. The winner of each Venue Final then goes on to compete in the Semifinals at Celebrate Fairfax the 2nd weekend of June. Then 6 contestants advance to the Finals the same day. Of those 6, a 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place winner are all named, given money, and titles of karaoke glory and awesomeness. 

If you’ve read my About Me section of my blog then you would know I have been a Semifinalist in this competition for the past 2 years, 2011 and 2012.

2011 Semifinals

2012 Semifinals

I just like this picture... Queen of Fairfax H.R.M. Niki Slik (in case you thought I was kidding) and The D.C. People's Champ

This year, they added a new round of the competition called the Wild Card Round which took place Friday, 6/7/2013, at Celebrate Fairfax. It is basically a last chance to dance for all the 2nd Place winners of each Venue Final to potentially make it into the Fair. I qualified for it at Greene Turtle Fairfax where the KDJ was none other than the owner of ACI himself and our good friend we dedicated our love songs to in Happy Tuesday People! Some Theme Songs for Your Day.... Warm Up to the FCKC War, Glenn.

Personally, I believe this was added because fewer venues and people were actually interested in participating and there weren’t enough winners of Venue Finals to fill up the normal amount of spots and keep the competition high. I believe this because the one-off at Greene Turtle was supposed to be at Sully’s and I spoke with Glenn several times as it kept getting cancelled. Sully’s has participated every other year previously so based on how our good friend Glenn has behaved this year (which is surprising because he used to be nice), it stands to reason he may have turned somebody off there with his new attitude and they told him to go F himself.

Anyway, all this Wild Card Round really served to do though was add a new level of BS and confusion because it was not planned out well enough. Not surprising considering all the things we’ll discuss.

To Be Continued in The FCKC War with ACI - Part Two: The Incident at The Fair Friday Night .....

Happy Tuesday People! Some Theme Songs for Your Day.... Warm Up to the FCKC War!

I've been gone for a minute (well a week actually) but now I'm back with the jump-off. I was a busy little bee getting ready for the Wild Card round of the Fairfax County Karaoke Championship at Celebrate Fairfax, then competing in it, and then dealing with the aftermath. I've actually been refraining from posting anything because I started a war this past weekend over a BS situation that occurred Friday night. 

Now I wanted to wait until I get all the facts about as straight as they can be before really digging in. Why? Because even though Miss Slik's Guide to Gracefully Faking It Through Life is just some obscure little blog, I take it pretty seriously. We are a public news medium in some capacity and I'd like to maintain some level of journalistic integrity. So if I'm going to hate on somebody publicly to the world, I'd prefer to do it in about as fair a manner as I'm capable of. Plus, while we can say quite a lot that is technically covered under the First Amendment's freedom of speech and press, before we go attacking a company i.e. Associate Consultants Inc. (ACI) and discussing comments made by the head honcho of Celebrate Fairfax it's probably best to CYOA to an extent.

But, we'll get into all of that later. In the meantime, here are some theme songs for your day that seem to keep recurring as part of mine much to my shigrin...

First, we will be discussing and breaking down this song in great detail in a post to follow. I used to like it and still think Gretchen Wilson is the jam.. but now this song will forever irk me and give me nightmares purely because of what happened at The Fair...

Gretchen Wilson - Redneck Woman

And also this song which I definitely hate and find to be one of the most annoying songs ever written, performed, played, etc...

All American Rejects - Gives You Hell

Now, I'm going to share some snippets of posts off my own private Facebook profile that I'm really still not sorry about along with some much more entertaining theme songs I actually do quite enjoy. These are all dedicated to Glenn, owner of ACI, who was extremely rude to me, called me a sore loser, and claimed a list of "Clean" songs was basically infallible. I later determined that it was not by finding at least 100 songs that are extremely questionable. Let me also point out really quick that I was accused by the host of the FC Karaoke Championship, Mr. Fingaz, of being drunk when I put these posts up on my Facebook profile. Well, I wasn't then. I'm definitely still stone cold sober now. And guess what? I still feel exactly the same way. Again, we will get into more of this later...

First up...

"I'd like to dedicate this to Glenn from ACI who told me 'hell' is not considered a curse word and they did not make any mistakes with the 'Clean' song list that was released. Well, I combed that list and found this little gem on it that I wish I'd known I was allowed to sing at the Fair. I'd have even had a prop I could've used for extra points."

Cypress Hill - Hits From the Bong

***Disclaimer - We here at MSGTGFITL do not seriously advocate the performance of this song at any public or private family-friendly event regardless because our official public stance is drugs are bad and kids should say No to them. This has been a PSA courtesy of H.R.M. Queen of Fairfax Miss Niki Slik.

Second....

"Also would like to dedicate this one that was on the list to our special friend Glenn at ACI... List is "Clean" huh? So if I'd been droppin N-bombs at the Fair then that would've been OK?..."

Cypress Hill - Insane in the Brain

And last but not least...

"Also dedicated to Glenn... Another so-called "Clean" song from the list for the Fair... Cause if I sang this song I'm sure the lady with her small children at the pizza truck would've really appreciated it... or at least her husband might have anyway... "

Nine Inch Nails - Closer

Just FYI, I'm kidding. I would never really have performed any of these songs whether I'd been allowed to or not. It would've been in extremely bad taste... much like I'm sure this entire post is.. but whatever.. It was in bad taste to insult me in the first place.

Loads more to come as we go balls deep into this drama so check back in a bit! Told ya we'd be getting more candid...

Lastly, I would like to leave you with a quote from one of my favorite movies, Almost Famous... This is from the scene where William (Patrick Fugit) calls Lester Bangs (Philip Seymour Hoffman) and Lester gives him some advice...

"The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what we share with someone else when we're uncool." He goes on to say "My advice to you. I know you think those guys are your friends. You wanna be a true friend to them? Be honest, and unmerciful."

Don't forget that at the end of the day, if you cross me in a professional capacity then heaven help you because I'm not your friend at that point.... I am the enemy!