FCKC War Footnote - Miss Slik's Advice On Burning Bridges and BONUS THEME SONG!

I believe the old saying goes something like, "Never burn bridges. You never know when you might need to cross them again." Well, that's a pretty passive, stupid way to operate when dealing with certain people who act like asshole douchebag fucktards. They know you won't burn the bridge so they use that as an excuse to continuously act like oppressive asshole douchebag fucktards. Just torch the motherfucker. 

If you're absolutely, totally, completely and utterly done with someone who has angered you to the point that you'd rather swim through raging river rapids filled with piranha and crocodiles and botchelism than ever cross that person's bridge again... Here is my advice for you.

Why just burn a bridge you never intend to cross again when you can flip a switch, turn some keys, and press the red buttons?! I mean you should go straight up Manhattan Project on a bitch, drop an A-Bomb on that wack ass stupid bridge, and decimate that MoFo like it was fucking Hiroshima.

But why stop there? Remember, you're dealing with the Honey Badger and Honey Badger don't give a shit. Personally, I prefer to go straight Project 7000 on some fools and drop a Tsar Bomba on that little bitch ass bridge. The Tsar Bomba is the most powerful nuclear bomb known to man and the size of the explosion is equal to 4,000 Hiroshimas... second only to the volcanic eruption that was responsible for the creation of Yellowstone National Park. It will basically take out not only that bridge, but like the entire state that bridge is in.

BOOM!!!

This is basically how I feel about ACI, Glenn, Fingaz and the 2-faced haters who participated in the fun we've got coming up later today... That's right, we're going to go... I believe the word is "Trolling" and show some actual stuff from Facebook. In the words of Yung Joc and Hotstylz, point 'em out.



Happy Thursday HONEY BADGER THEME SONGS!!!

OH. MAH. GOD!!!! My head is about to explode like... BOOOOM!!! Mind blown. 

This is perhaps the most epic song I've heard all week, maybe all year so far. I love it and I think you will too if you haven't heard it already. This is my new theme song for awhile....

Man I'm hungry as fuck and I don't give a shit. Them other animals are wack and I don't give a shit.. No I don't give a shit. No I don't give a shit.

This one is a little more true to form and metallic for all my headbangers out there...

Just a Small Break From The Rest of Karaoke Drama For Tonight Because Honey Badger Is Tired

Look at this sleepy fuck! For all those who don't get the Honey Badger references I continually mention, here is where this came from....

Honey Badger don't care. Honey Badger don't give a shit. Honey Badger just takes a nap and then keeps eating that cobra. Fuck that cobra. That's disgusting.

And fuck you stupid leopard... Honey Badger takes your impala because you're stupid!

Also... this is good too... dundundundun... HONEY BADGER!

And I have a special surprise for ya'll for Theme Songs tomorrow that is AWESOME!

Whahappin Saturday Night?!?!

Yeah, somebody call Waka Flocka and tell him he's a punk because NOBODY goes harder in the paint than your girl. One morning I swear I'm going to wake up with some kind of exotic animal in my bathroom, Leslie Chow passed out naked in a pile of blow on my coffee table, and Mike Tyson at my front door with Phil Collins on blast.

I was working on another post and came across these pics in my phone of the new, hot bartender Marine named Zach that I met Saturday night at karaoke up at Fast Eddie's. Yeah, I said Marine *swoon*. Seriously, this dude is so pretty and not only did he know how to make a Dirty Shirley, he perhaps makes the best ones ever.

These pics are super blurry and don't even begin to do this dude justice. For real, he is a ridiculously good looking man with the kind of smile that makes you think he can't possibly be a gentleman behind closed doors. I'm not even going to try to lie.. Given the opportunity, I'd probably do things to him that would make even Jenna Jameson blush...


Anyway, I totally forgot that I took pics of him and am now trying to think back and remember exactly what possessed me to do this. I'm also wondering just how much of a maniac I must have been that night. This move is pretty brazen, even for me.. I tend to be a bit more subtle and covert. 

In my defense though, if this man was serving you alcohol wouldn't you probably drink more than you normally do too? There are a lot of things I'm sure I would do for this man that I wouldn't normally do (which is a pretty short list because honey badger don't give a shit).

Let's take a moment to appreciate the fact that I don't remember taking pics of this dude, but I damn sure remember him saying he is a Marine.. as my friend Alex who has a serious crush on me stood next to me getting super jealous knowing I needed a towel to wipe my leg. Now Alex and Zach had already met previously during the week. Alex likes Zach... But in that moment he looked at Zach about ready to kill him and said something to the effect of "Man, don't tell her that! Stop telling her that!" And I'm like "Yeah, you probably shouldn't tell me that... but you should totally keep telling me that."

For those of you who don't know, God has a hard on for Marines and so do I. My Dad and Grampa were both Marines. It has been drilled into me since birth that the United States Marine Corps is the world's best fighting force. I believe in that like I believe in Jesus... OORAH!


And then it occurred to me that I vaguely remember writing down my blog URL for him along with my phone number. I can only assume I must have told him these were going in the blog. Even if I didn't, I can't help but post about this purely because I think it's hysterical that I took pics of some dude I'd just met with his knowledge obviously but maybe not with his full consent. 

So shout out to him for being a good sport if he's actually reading this post. And also, apologies to him for my no doubt insane behavior that I can only hope was at least somewhat obnoxiously charming.

Honey Badger Has Fallen and She Can't Get Up

Honey Badger gives a shit. Honey Badger doesn't really want to eat anything right now. She worked out for a little bit and now she's stuck on the floor listening to dubstep. Honey Badger is tired and she just wants to take a shower and go to sleep.

So as I mentioned earlier today, it turns out I have a B12 Deficiency. My shrink complimented me this evening on my "detective work" to find that out. He asked me what prompted me to Google my blood test results. I told him "If I get a test back that says 'abnormal' for anything then I'm going to find out what that means and why it's like that. It's not like I WebMD-ed myself into having Crohn's disease. The stuff that came up was all things I've heard before that doctors had been watching." He said he wished all patients paid more attention to those things.

Quite frankly, I'm surprised more people don't heed medical warnings and advice about a variety of things. I finally listened to my doctor and quit smoking. I listened to my doctor and have been lowering my sodium intake. I gain a few pounds and my doc tells me to watch my fat intake, I cut it and drop the weight. She recommends these things for my benefit, health, and overall well-being, not her own. If I down large containers of salt, gain 100 lbs, smoke like a chimney, and die from a massive coronary and or stroke then it's really no skin off her nose. Obviously she cares and would be sad if I died... But probably not that sad considering if I'd taken her advice then I'd theoretically still be alive.

Anyway, my shrink is now holding off on renewing my antidepressants because he agreed that I may not need them anymore. He remembered how much better I'd felt last year when I started taking B12 at the advice of a friend after giving up coffee for Lent. Wish I'd known at the time that was why so I could've kept taking them. I'd stopped my antidepressants because I was exhibiting overdose symptoms. Since B12 deficiency causes depression among other things, he thought it best we wait to see if that makes a difference like it did last year. YaY for me. That's one less medication I have to take.

Now, the only problem right now is I feel like ass on a stick. I actually didn't feel this tired before I started taking the supplements. My doctor advised me to take 1,000mg but that didn't feel like it was doing anything. I've been taking 2,000mg instead and it's helping a little.. just not enough. I have a feeling I'm cruising for shots... which does not sound like fun to me. 

I believe I got this deficiency as a result of my ulcer and acid reflux issues I got from popping ibuprofen like candy for years while they tried to figure out that I have 2 ruptured discs in my neck. If that's the reason then I can't produce the intrinsic factor that breaks down the B12 in my body.. meaning I could pop this whole bottle of B12 and it wouldn't make a damn bit of difference because my body just can't absorb it.

Either way, I'm exhausted so I will continue catching y'all up tomorrow.

Random Story of the Day: My Arm Is Tired of Being Violated

I'm feeling very tired this evening. Every time I go to the doctor, I keep leaving feeling like a giant pin cushion. Look at my arm. It looks like I either got attacked by a small-mouthed vampire or a very large-mouthed bat.. or like I'm a junkie... none of which are good things.

Today was a follow-up for my bronchitis. Apparently I still have a low grade fever.. YAY for me. I told her I had a few questions based on Googling the results of my blood test from my physical last month. There were some things that were slightly too low and others that were slightly too high. The combination of these blood things indicate, according to Google, one or more of the following... a possible iron deficiency, slight anemia, and/or a thyroid issue. 

Now I'm not a hypochondriac so I wouldn't have brought it up if I hadn't heard these things mentioned as possible issues multiple times over the past 15 years. Any one of these things can be contributing to my honey badger binge eating. Thyroid problems, both hyper and hypo, run in my family and my mom recently found out she had some issues with hers so this is something I actually need to look out for. My doctor agreed.So more blood had to be taken in order to check for these issues along with a possible B-12 deficiency. 

Well, I did some more Googling and low and behold, it turns out there is such a thing called "Iron Deficiency Anemia". Sounds super serious right? It's really not. It just means I need to eat more things that are rich in heme iron (iron more easily absorbed into the body from meat) and take more Vitamin C to help my body absorb it easier. Non heme iron is good too (iron from enriched products like certain cereals and veggies)

So back to Walmart I went in search of iron rich foods including a large package of salmon, smoked oysters, and some Honey Nut Cheerios. I feel like I'm draggin ass some days and I think it's because I need more of iron. I've been keeping my food diary again pretty religiously and I know I wasn't getting nearly enough protein until recently. *Fingers crossed* these little diet changes will make the difference. I'll keep ya'll posted.

Post Workout Life Saver: The Incredible, Edible F-ing Egg

So ever since I quit smoking 7 weeks ago, I've been really kicking some serious ass in the gym doing mad cardio and weight training (which I could never do before because I'd get winded in 5 minutes and have asthma attacks). Now I'm not a morning person so there is no fucking way I'd get up at 4am to go jogging. I do my working out in the evenings after work and dinner during the weekdays. The problem is I get done and I'm like a fucking honey badger.. I don't give a shit. I just keep eating and eating and eating until I've eaten the entire contents of my fridge and I'm still hungry for more. So I did some research because this shit needed to stop. I'm trying to cut the 5 lbs I gained this year not add on 50 lbs more. Thanks to Google yesterday I learned all about this concept called "Recovery Foods" for post workouts. 

According to all the stuff I read, during a workout you tear your muscle tissue down so when you're done it starts rebuilding and repairing itself and goes into this anabolic state. You have to eat something high in protein with a little bit of carbs so your muscles can do what they need to do. If you don't eat anything or you eat the wrong things you basically fuck yourself up. Well turns out I was eating the wrong things and fucking myself up which is why I wasn't seeing the results I wanted. There are lists of the best recovery foods and one of the best, believe it or not, is the egg. It is a "perfect protein" because it basically has everything it needs contained in itself to fully digest in your body. It also has tons of vitamins, minerals, and a host of other good things you need. I'm not going to list all that shit out though because you are perfectly capable of Googling the health benefits of eggs on your own.

So last night after work I came home and hard boiled some eggs while I was making dinner and then put them in the fridge to cool. After dinner, I went and worked out for an hour and then came back up to my apartment to test out this egg situation. I took one of my hard-boiled eggs out, peeled it, cut it in half, then put a little fresh ground pepper and paprika on it, and then ate it. No lie, it fucking worked like a miracle! I could feel it sitting in my stomach and it stopped me from going balls out on my fridge. After my shower I ate a half cup of greek yogurt with some strawberries and raw honey and was good for the rest of the night. I got super tired really fast and fell right to sleep. It was awesome. Who'd have thought a little egg could stop my inner fat kid from clawing its way out and screwing up my entire caloric intake for the day?

Anyway, it seems this is a common issue people have, especially women because our bodies feel the need to store crap tons of food for our reproductive systems. I figured I'd share in the hopes this helps you.. Try it and let me know how it goes.