So apparently I did not get the memo that today is National Act Like a Douchey Fucktard Toward Niki Slik Day.. I'm already dealing with some other bullshit and this wackass fucker decides to stalk my semi-abandoned DJ profile and post comments that, while I find amusing, are just extra.
The first one was this below.. which I'm not mad at. In fact, I take it as a compliment. I am fine as fuck and I know lots of dudes who'd love to get up in my ass because I have a nice ass. However, it is somewhat inappropriate to post on my DJ page. If you're really trying to get it, that is something you should privately message me about. Just sayin.
However, the second comment he made several minutes later was what made me be like What. The. Fuck? I deleted if off my page and then kicked myself for not screen-shotting it first. But thank God for email that even includes pics. Nothing you post on the internet is ever really gone.
Technically, he's not wrong... It's just that any time prior to today when a dude has called me something like that, it's typically been behind closed doors while I had a mouthful of their cock and was meant in a much more loving, encouraging way. I tend to call them thoroughly degrading names as well while they return the favor... also out of love and encouragement because dudes like that shit. It's all in good fun.
For real though, can't I be both an iconic social figure and a dick-slurping whore? I consider myself both and I don't think that's a bad thing. A lot of men would find that awesome and it explains why I'm such a catch. What dude can't appreciate a multi-talented woman with a massive love of giant D? Any dude who has been on the receiving end of my fellatio seems to love that about me.
I'm pretty sure dick-slurping whore is actually listed among my many credentials. If not, I'll take that oversight under advisement. But obviously this talent and fondness is more of a recreational past time than one I've used for business purposes to advance my music career. I do kick myself for not being more of a dick-slurping whore in the rave/club scene though because I'd probably be a super famous world-touring DJ and producer by now if I had been... or at least a lot further along than I am.
Anyway, here is this dumb fucker's Facebook profile...
He's actually somewhat tragic looking with bad skin, kind of a jacked face, and an outdated emo haircut.
I'm just trying to figure out who this dude is and why he felt the need to internet stalk my DJ page to make comments. Clearly I must be an iconic social figure who has truly reached at least D-Level celebrity status to necessitate stalker groupie activity.
It's pretty obvious he has a small penis. I'm wondering if maybe I refused to slurp his dick based on the inadequacy of his endowment and laughed in his face while I was drunk because he asked me if it was big enough for me like he expected it was the biggest dick I've ever seen (like the Mayor of Titty City) or something thus offending him to the point he felt the need to stalk my page and embarrass me I guess. I'm actually trying to be better about that.
It seems further investigation is required so I will be tagging the 2 mutual friends I share with this random, small-dicked loser fan to see if they can perhaps shed some light on what this dude's major malfunction might be. Funny thing is, I'm not exactly sure how I know both of them either.
