Warmup to Mr. Dreamy's Show & Miss Slik and Cindy's Battle of the Bands Beauty Pageant

Holy shit! This has been a fucking SUPER CRAZY week! Like crazy in a fucking epic, awesome, exciting way... and crazy in a "Lord give me strength so I don't shank this mofo" way. I've got A LOT to get to so let's dive in shall we? 

OK... So as I mentioned in Part 1 of last week's post Adventures in Dating Douchebags: Meet Pusha C the Man Who Needs a Shirt, Mr. Dreamy was being a dick and blew me off and I was no longer going to the show to which he'd invited me. Well, the day after, which would've been Friday, he hit me up like "Can you do Monday? It's been a hectic week." I responded, "Did you magically remember I exist as a person in life just now or did you read my blog post from yesterday and see that I'm pissed at you for blowing me off?"

Well, he then said he doesn't read my blog... which I kinda don't believe because his timing was pretty convenient and also think is a fucked up thing to say to someone especially when they've been gearing up to do a big article on your band.. Needless to say, we got into it and I did not hold back. We hashed out all kinds of shit including why he kept dropping the ball on my offers of sex and burritos. 

Turns out he does want my burritos (damn right) but he thought they'd been taken off the menu based on things I said on our 1st date.. which you'll recall I discussed in Miss Slik's Guide to Dating: The 3 Date Rule. He thought that because he didn't want a serious relationship and I do that the only way he'd get to eat my burritos was if we were in a committed, monogamous situation. 

I told him "I do want a serious relationship. I just don't necessarily want one with you. Doesn't mean I don't still want to bang you though or I wouldn't have offered you sex and burritos." Apparently, he did not get the memo that I had reevaluated the situation and decided that even though I thought he'd make a shitty boyfriend, I figured he'd make a good "special friend with whom I have interesting and intelligent conversations."

Anyway, so we made up and made plans for Monday night... which you probably already guessed if you read surprise Part 3 of last week's triple post extravaganza A Very Big Thank You to Ya'll from MSG2L!. So he came over Monday night and I made the food of my people since he'd never had Lebanese food before. I went all out and made a tabouleh inspired chopped salad, shish taouk (that's chicken kabobs for those who don't know), and some basmati rice.. and I almost burned my kitchen down in the process.. I would have if Mr. Dreamy hadn't saved the day with some baking soda.

He also brought the tickets for my friends, Cindy and William, who are going to the show with me... and he brought me wine.. which is the key to my heart.. and if I'd actually crushed that bottle, probably would've been the key to my burritos...

We had a nice conversation about his band and the show. This is when he tells me his band may be gearing up for this big tour where he'd be gone for like a year after next month.. which would expedite the burrito eating and put a time limit on it like he's never coming back ever. This seriously makes it look like this dude has planned out an exit strategy to our entire situation so he can basically hit it and quit it.. which is one of many things that has me reconsidering the burrito offer.

Anyway, he liked the dinner I made (cause my kitchen skills are epic) aside from the fire part.. which only happened because I actually do use my stove a lot. He couldn't stay for dessert though because he had to go work on something. So I walked him out to his car and we had this super movie romantical kiss in the rain that made me all swoony... I just had to point out the irony because when we first started talking he said all this cheesy sensitive stuff about wanting me to sit in the shower with him and think and it would be like shelter from a Spring rain and blah blah blah... It was actually that line that earned him the nickname Mr. Dreamy because I told my dude friends about it and that's what they started calling him.

When we were talking a couple weeks ago and he was working on songs with his band, I told him he should write a song about me and how awesome I am and include that shower shelter Spring rain shit and also a part about how I swallowed his kids like a pro.. and to make sure he puts my name in it cause I didn't want other chicks he's used that shower line shit on to think my song is about them. I want them to be like "Who the hell is Niki?" and be jealous of my awesomeness.

This song has the potential to be a platinum hit so feel free to steal it and then you can buy me a 7-Eleven. It would be like an updated version of Darling Nikki by Prince (which has me convinced that I must invent time travel and go back to the 80's and bang Prince at some point in the near future cause I'm pretty sure that song has to be about me since it's dead on) but slightly more cheesy and sensitive and spelled with one K because it's NIKI bitches. Get it right.

Anyway, that brings me to the warmup to the big show and Miss Slik and Cindy's Battle of the Bands...

The show I've been referring to is Dance Gavin Dance at Empire this Sunday, 4/26/15. There are 7 bands playing including Dance Gavin Dance (obviously), Hail the Sun, Polyphia, Stolas, Burn the Ballroom, Louder Than Quiet, and Inquiry. Just in case you missed it.. The names of each band are hyperlinked to their Facebook pages so I encourage you to go check them out, "Like" them, and listen to their music.

So, on Tuesday in preparation for the big post to come next week on this show, Cindy and I listened to music from all the bands playing. I have since coined the term "Bubblegum Screamo".. It's not meant as a diss.. Just a description. Apparently this has become a thing.


Now, no offense to any of the other bands because we ♡ you too.. But the band with the songs that we liked best is Louder Than Quiet. I told Mr. Dreamy during our conversation on Monday night that I was really excited about seeing these guys after reading the description on the event thing. They're an all African American Hardcore band from Baltimore... Let me repeat that shit... ALL AFRICAN AMERICAN HARDCORE METAL BAND. 

That is so super rare it's basically like finding a leprechaun with a 15 inch cock riding a unicorn under a quadruple rainbow... because, let's face it, they call it "Angry white boy music" for a reason as there is a serious and sad lack of diversity in that subgenre of music. I really hope these guys can change that stereotype. They are what actually prompted Cindy's and my listening party because I wanted to listen to their music to see if they were any good... which they are.. So I told Cindy she had to hear them too.

I love this Red Gemini joint. It's like Boyz II Men then... Raaaaaaawwwwrrrr METAL! They have another video for their song called "Rude to Kill" and it seriously makes you want to skateboard and play guitar on speakers in a basement.

Anyway, I was texting with Mr. Dreamy and told him about it and said that of the bands we'd listened to so far that day Louder Than Quiet was our fave. He responded with "Hmm :(".. I actually wasn't including his band in that when I made the comment.. But even if I was that doesn't mean that we don't still ♡ his band and the other bands. They're all good bands. We're hardcore metal fans though. We can't help what we like.

Now Mr. Dreamy got all pissy and dumb after that and didn't send out the email he was supposed send to the guy at Empire about me covering the show to review it and getting my entry sorted out... Guess who got her own bitch ass on the guestlist? Damn right I did. All Mr. Dreamy did was get CCed on a damn email and bitch at me for being pushy while he's being generous. He even pulled some similar shit yesterday when I told him I wanted to get up separately with his other bandmates to ask them some questions for the article.. which I found out he hadn't even told them about yet after he'd known for weeks. It all came off like a giant jealous temper tantrum I'd expect from a whiny 3 year old who just can't stand not to be the center of attention.

But his reaction to us liking Louder Than Quiet definitely got Cindy and me thinking that maybe we should make this a little competition to see who gets to win the prize and should be crowned our super fave band of the show... which we are calling...

Miss Slik and Cindy's Battle of the Bands Beauty Pageant

Let's meet our lovely contestants shall we?

Inquiry

Louder Than Quiet

Burn the Ballroom

Gotta say these are all some pretty good looking dudes.

Now the other 4 bands playing that night have not gotten back to me yet to grant permission for me to interview them during the show. They still have time to get in on this should they choose... However, if they do not, then fuck them.

The contestants will be judged using a format similar to Miss America. Each band will receive a score of 1-10 in the following weighted categories:

Preliminary Competition

Swimsuit/Evening Wear - 25%
***Based on how they look in their Facebook pictures

Talent - 40%
***Based on music from YouTube and Soundcloud

Private Interview - 35%

Final Competition

Composite Score from Preliminary Round - 10%

Swimsuit - 15%

Evening Wear - 15%

Live Talent - 30%

Live Interview - 30%

The band with the highest score will be crowned Miss Slik and Cindy's Super Fave Band. We will also be giving special awards to individual members of each band for Most Congenial, Most Photogenic, and Who Gets Us The Drunkest (bear in mind the winner of this special award could be the one who pulls it out for their own band because the judges not only accept bribes, but wholeheartedly encourage them.)

The Preliminary Round began Tuesday and I must say that competition has been fierce. I've had some very lovely conversations with members from all 3 bands and they are not making it easy on the judges to pick a favorite. So far we do not have an overall winner but there are leaders in each category.

At this point Louder Than Quiet is ahead in the talent portion as you may have guessed. They've also done well in the personal interview as I'm now convinced their drummer Anthony is my long lost brother from another mother and he has become my new bestie. He has been a phenomenal emissary of his band and totally validated that gut feeling I had that these guys are just super dope. I really could go on all day about how much I like this band.

Burn the Ballroom is ahead in the Swimsuit/Evening Wear portion because Cindy and I believe that there could be endless debates by tweenyboppers worldwide over who is the hottest member. She is Team Alan all the way. I was Team Dreamy but based on the events of this week and performance during the preliminary round I have switched to Team Ginger Jack. He called me yesterday to chat the old fashioned way and has a very sexy phone voice. He has also invited Cindy and I to a show for his band he has with his brother called The Ivins whose music we really liked as well. They are not in this competition, but definitely merit a future post that is in the works. Alan and I have also been trading some hysterical messages about wine and whatnot that almost have me swayed to be Team Him. All this has definitely helped improve their personal interview score. Talentwise they are the most commercially appealing band of the 3 and their song "Crazy" is catchy as fuck.

As for Inquiry, they are leading in Personal Interview overall. They've presented a very united front as a band in the messages we've exchanged... like so much so that I must give them mad props for their PR. I honestly do believe everything I read about them on their website about being good friends making memories. I have nothing but good things to say about anyone who lets me get nostalgic about my childhood music memories. They are ideal, extremely congenial contestants who want world peace and to save the puppies. This band shows a lot of promise in the talent department as well so I'm excited to see them perform live. They may be the dark horse in this competition but they could definitely pull it out on the last leg.

It's really anyone's game at this point. Cindy and I are super thrilled and looking forward to meeting all of these guys in person and seeing them wreck shop at the show. As ya'll know I've been working hard on putting together a very in depth list of interview questions which looks like it may even merit a multi-part post to highlight each of these awesome bands and their answers to everything I'll be asking when I interview them Sunday.

In the meantime, ya'll should definitely go check these guys out and listen to their music.. Rock out.. Stay up.. Stay tuned.. and you may now begin placing your bets with the bookie on who you think the winner of Miss Slik and Cindy's Battle of the Bands Beauty Pageant will be.

A Very Big Thank You to Ya'll from MSG2L!

This has been the most kick ass month and I just want to say how enormously appreciative and grateful I am to all of you out there who are reading my blog... Not just reading it.. But really liking it and giving me such phenomenal feedback and compliments on my writing. The response I've been getting is beyond overwhelming and means more to me than even I have words to adequately express. It has me so motivated and excited to hear so many people telling me to keep doing what I'm doing.

I started this blog as a creative outlet to express myself and do something I'm extremely passionate about.. and also to stop bogging down people's Facebook news feeds with super long status updates. I love writing and believe the power and effect of the written word is immeasurable. I've always been an extremely outspoken person (probably the understatement of the century) and an avid storyteller. But, growing up I was that nerdy, weird girl who had A LOT to say but never quite knew the right way to say it. Most kids just saw me as too different and did not appreciate the thoughts I had to offer so I was teased, tormented, ridiculed, bullied, and even ostracized.

Fortunately, I was blessed with a resilient spirit so I refused to let the pain caused by those children's words get the best of me or make me change who I am at my core because I have always believed that there is nothing wrong with daring to be different.. and more importantly, daring to be yourself... which I have always done because I just can't help myself. Fish gotta swim. Birds gotta fly. Sammy Davis Jr. said it best.. "I gotta be me."

Even when I've tried toning it down for the sake of fitting in, I still couldn't sustain for long. You can paint a zebra to look like a horse and it may fool the other horses for awhile. But sooner or later it's going to rain and the reality of the situation is, you can't hide a fucking zebra because it makes a very stupid looking horse... and that's OK because zebras are dope just the way they are.

See.. Look at those judgey horses standing around being jealous haters of that awesome zebra...

http://imgkid.com/zebras-and-horses-mating.shtml

Well, this zebra stopped giving a fuck and I guess somehow I finally found the right way to say all those words I was bursting to get out... and part of what helped that is writing. It gives me time to think and edit my thoughts so I can put the best and clearest version of them out. I spend hours on each and every one of these posts and pour the core of myself into them along with every thought and feeling I have at that time. When I'm done with each post, I'm totally drained, my brain is fried, and I feel vulnerable and exposed.

But then I sit back and watch the read count go up on the posts and it makes every bit of what I put out there of myself worth it. This blog and your reaction to it have validated that nerdy, weird little girl I was and the still nerdy, weird, crazy, off the wall woman I am today and all the energetic rants and wild stories and dissenting opinions I have dared to share with the world.. Because ya'll like it and want more of it and that's what matters to me. So fuck all those dumbass hater kids.

I've been checking the Blogger stats daily and they are just astounding. MSG2L's regular readership has doubled and is reaching new people all over the world every day as we speak... India, Turkey, Iran, Ukraine... Apparently, the folks in France are absolutely loving MSG2L and it is the #2 country with the most readers behind the United States with 28 views this month and 617 all time. Je veux dire merci à tous mes lecteurs français. Je te aime et se il vous plaît continuez à lire. 

I just had to share this...

Here is the past month since I got back on the blog..

And here is All Time...

I know hundreds and thousands may not seem like much. But, to me that is definitely something because it shows that my little blog has serious potential. This inspires me to keep going and growing because I believe those numbers could be hundreds of thousands and maybe even millions at some point. With your help and support, MSG2L can and will take over the world.

Many of you know that I've been working diligently during this past month to make several improvements to the blog. First there was the revamp and rebranding changing it from Miss Slik's Guide to Gracefully Faking it Through Life to the new Miss Slik's Guide 2 Life. This change was one of the best decisions I've made because having a more simplified, memorable name and url has made it so much easier to quickly let people know about the blog. MSG2L has generated a buzz that I'm not just hoping, but wholeheartedly believe, will become a loud roar.

I'm also excited to announce that this week I also finally became a legitimate, verifiable journalist with an official press pass and credentials. I joined the United States Press Association and even had a very nice and invaluable conversation with its director when he called me personally to rectify the situation with the mistakes on my Press ID. We spoke for about an hour and he informed me of all the resources I'm now able to take advantage of offered by the US Press Association that will help improve my blog and enable it to grow even more. He also gave me some free legal advice on my Dating Douchebags segments to keep me out of hot legal water... which I totally appreciate and took to heart.

Additionally, I'm making strides towards expanding the content of the blog so I can bring you more of the segments you love along with new segments I am very excited about kicking off. My goal is to make MSG2L a more comprehensive Guide 2 Life and become not only a resource for knowing what's good... But a taste maker, innovator, creator, and forecaster of what's new and next.

To meet this goal, I've been speaking to some friends about doing weekly articles on music and product testing. I'm currently in search of some additional writers who are interested in doing regular segments on food, fashion, and event reviews as well and am open to any suggestions that you think should be a regular facet of MSG2L.

I'm also still trying to get the Underbutt Movement off the ground to rival The Chive because Underboobs are played out and that KCCO shit is annoying as fuck. Twerking isn't going anywhere if I have anything to say about it and booties that bounce are what's poppin. I myself am a proud member of Twerkaholics Anonymous and big booty hoe for life. So in the words of Nicki Minaj, "Where my fat ass bitches in the club? Fuck them skinny bitches." You know I still love you too skinny bitches so please don't feel bad.

Anyway, so if you're feelin me and you write and you're interested in being apart of MSG2L as either a guest or regular contributor then please feel free to submit some of your writing samples to me at AskMissSlik@gmail.com. Just remember to be honest, funny, and most importantly, use plenty of curse words... Cause if it doesn't have enough 4 letter words, particularly the word "fuck" used at least twice then MSG2L is probably not the media outlet for you. I look forward to reading what ya'll have to say.

As I said before, we need to rival The Chive, so I'm looking into hopefully getting some merchandise for the blog out there like stickers and awesome t-shirts that say something less annoying than "Keep Calm and Chive On"... Plus maybe even some MSG2L red flags and stalker alert sirens for you to use when dating your own douchebags and psychos. I've been trying to find a good hookup for that, so if you or someone you know can help with that then please holler at me at AskMissSlik@gmail.com. The budget is small. But I have zero problems giving your companies all kinds of shameless promotion in exchange. I would even like to get some freebies, giveaways, discounts, coupons, and contests going for the MSG2L readers and would definitely appreciate hearing from companies interested in helping with that.

Finally, I want to remind everyone to please make sure you're clicking Subscribe on the blog page because it's free and I have zero subscribers. This is important because even though I know you're reading MSG2L regularly, Blogger and whoever the people are out there who do the blog rankings don't.. and they should. Blogs get ranked on popularity based on things like number of subscribers. You can also comment on every blog post at the bottom with your own thoughts and opinions, which I totally encourage you to do since I want to know what ya'll think. Plus the number of comments also contribute to the rankings and I want MSG2L to be #1 dammit!

I also ask that you please go "Like" the MSG2L Facebook Page if you haven't already. So far there are 124 page likes and if you're one of those 124 people then you rock and thank you. Let's get that number up! I update the MSG2L Facebook Page as soon as I publish new articles on the blog.. So if you "Like" the page then those posts will show in your news feed. You can also share posts you like and even share the page to your own profiles so all your friends can know what the fuck you're laughing at and become MSG2L fans too. Just in case you didn't know, there is also a little Share button at the bottom of every post on the mobile version and a Share bar at the bottom of every desktop version so you can share posts to Facebook, Google+, Twitter, and even Pinterest.

Here is the Mobile Version...

Here is the Desktop Version...

So in closing... THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone who has supported the blog since the beginning... especially Phil Scott because he actually bugged me during every hiatus I took to get back on the blog and he is my #1 super fan. Thank you to all my new supporters who are getting into the blog. It may take you a minute to get caught up since there are almost 100 posts now. But if you take the time I promise you won't be sorry. And thank you to Mr. Dreamy for having that discussion with me that prompted me to get back on the blog. I'm glad we got things resolved and sorry I called you a dick. Lastly, to everyone, please keep reading because there is sooo much more to come!

Miss Slik's Review of Childsplay's Birthday Banger Featuring Nobyus

As I mentioned in yesterday's post Adventures in Dating Douchebags: Meet Pusha C the Man Who Needs a Shirt this week is a Double Post Week so I can get into my fun from last weekend! So last Saturday night, which would have been April 11th, I went to Childsplay's Birthday Banger featuring NobyuS at The Greene Turtle in Leesburg. Now, in case ya'll don't know, DJ Childsplay is a DJ (obviously) based out of Northern Virginia who has been spinning in the DMV for the last 12 years. NobyuS is a Hip Hop duo also based out of Northern Virginia comprised of Lyrion Neeley aka Mastrr Jeppett'o and Kenny Wilson aka JusW8. 

I've actually known NobyuS  for several years now because they are part of my karaoke fam and I've been a supporter of their music since the beginning. I got the Facebook invite for the party from by boy Kenny and figured I'd go to support him and Lyrion because I'm all about showing love to my peoples, especially these 2 guys because they've always shown mad love and supported me in what I do. 

When I looked at the invite I noticed that my pretend boyfriend Juddy was going to so I hit him up and made sure that was definite. He was debating between going to the hip hop party and something in Baltimore so I told him "Just remember that Baltimore sucks and I'll be mad at you if you don't go with me." (I didn't really mean Bmore sucks so don't get mad my Bmore people. I was just saying that to get Juddy to go with me. I love B-Town. K-Swift is my Club Queen for life ♡).

I won out and he decided to go because I'm awesome and my threat worked.. Plus I'm cute and he's hoping since he's my pretend boyfriend he might get pretend laid...

He got Ricardo and their boy Hazel to come too...

Like 10 minutes after we got there, Juddy decided to get on the decks. He was great and I've never seen him play Hip Hop before...

I laughed when he got off and was like "And you weren't even going to come.. Look at you just randomly getting up the decks and shit."

Now I'll admit I was not like a super fan before last Saturday night of DJ Childsplay... I am now. But I wasn't then.. So I'm going to break it down in an honest way and hope he takes what I'm about to say in the spirit in which it is intended because I think he's a cool dude. I'd only heard him play one of time when he spun at Transit a few weeks prior to that for the warmup to Funky Fresh. 

He played Drum and Bass and it wasn't a bad set... It was just A LOT.. Like he definitely banged it the fuck out and every track was a hardcore banger so loud the walls were banging. All I could think of was that episode of Parks & Rec when Tom Haverford DJ's the prom and he's like "Every song in my iPod is a banger. I have a 32 point scale of what determines a banger." Turns out bangers are his thing so I wasn't far off.

Like I said though, it wasn't a bad set and the youngins there were definitely feelin it. But the older folks like me were enjoying it from outside of the bar where we could still hear it very clearly but at a volume level that worked for us. Since I'm all about constructive criticism, I would just say he needs to watch the volume levels and let it breathe a little more. Also, and this goes for every DJ, you have to read your crowd and adjust what you play to fit the audience and the venue. 

Spinning DnB sets to me is like fucking... You can't just get it in and bang it out like a jackrabbit in the same position for an hour. There needs to be some foreplay to warm it up and get it wet. Then you gotta ease it in gently then get harder as you go along.. You also need to make sure you switch positions every so often to keep it interesting... and since you can't necessarily keep up the same pace the whole time, some of those positions will be the lazy 'lay on your stomach or side while I do you a little more gently' switch ups so you can breathe for a sec before getting back into the hardcore parts. During the whole thing though you should be teasing your crowd and making them beg you for more. Talk dirty to them. Tell them they are naughty bitches. Play with them.. cause they like that shit.

Anyway, that being said, my opinion of DJ Childsplay definitely changed when I saw him play last Saturday night for his birthday party. He spun hip hop that night and it was dope. You can definitely tell that is his wheelhouse... which when I thought about it actually gave me an entirely new perspective on his set at Transit. This dude is doing what I, along with many other DJ's who are smart have done... He's diversifying.

I have mad respect for DJ's who do that. Too many DJ's, particularly EDM DJ's.. especially DnB DJ's, think playing styles like Top 40 is beneath them... which is bullshit. Bear in mind, the kind of DJ's who hate on playing other styles are the same cats who plan their entire sets from start to finish and play boring, monotonous crap that drones on and doesn't cater to a crowd.. Because they don't care about their audience. They only care about playing the music they think the people want to hear... and then look up and wonder why nobody is dancing.

I love playing Top 40. I started out as a DnB DJ and played places for years where I was lucky if I got my bar tabs covered. There was even one party I played at several years ago where I actually had to pay a cover charge to get in the door.. Yeah, I had to pay just to be at the party I was on the lineup for or I would not have gotten in. However, I started playing Top 40 thanks to receiving the same helpful advice I'm giving you now from my boy Quincy of Uncle Jesse who plays everything from Moombahton and DnB for ravers at massives to Top 40 for posh, fancy people at bottle service clubs. Once I started following his advice it finally gave me an asking price because Top 40 DJ's get paid. It also made me a better DJ in countless ways. 

If you're a DJ who only plays one style then you should take this helpful bit of advice and learn how to play other kinds of music. It allows you to get more bookings at various shows, expands your fan base, and actually makes you a better DJ because you'll learn that different styles of music get played differently. You don't spin House the same way you spin Drum and Bass and you don't spin EDM the same way you play Top 40 or Hip Hop.

If that confuses you then I'll clarify... So we've already established that spinning DnB is like sex. Well, when you spin most kinds of House or Trance you make your transitions smoother so it flows versus broken beat styles where you can chop it up a bit more. When it comes to playing Top 40 or Hip Hop though, you do more cutting and chopping on your transitions. Since a lot of Top 40 and Hip Hop songs are shorter and don't necessarily match as easily beatwise, you're also not going to go for longer mixes because you're cutting over on the meaty part of the song and only playing each track for like a minute or 2... versus EDM where the songs are longer and you can demonstrate your beat matching skills.

But the great thing about playing a multitude of music genres is you'll learn all these things.. It does take some time and getting used to though. I'm still training myself to stop playing Hip Hop like a DnB DJ... Kinda get the sense now that DJ Childsplay may be doing the reverse and training himself to not play DnB like a Hip Hop DJ on a live Friday night where you drop banger after banger after banger.

When he plays Hip Hop though, he's got all that shit down. His set was hard at the right times with breather tracks sprinkled in. He also played one of my 3 super fave jammies.. The Lil Jon "Bend Ova" Yoga Ball joint... Hold up.. In case you don't know...

My other 2 super fave jammies are "Bubble Butt" by Major Lazer and "Express Yourself" by Diplo. Any DJ who plays one of these tracks endears himself to me... A DJ who throws down all 3 is my hero and I'm just going home at that point because as far as I'm concerned the party is over and I've heard all I need to hear. However, of those 3 though, Bend Ova is definitely my #1 so DJ Childsplay got massive bonus points in my book for that. 

The party itself was an interesting format and totally different from other NobyuS performances. Usually when I've seen them play, it's been at bigger spots on various size stages. This was way more intimate... Smaller place with just a folding table and the floor in front of it with tables and chairs around... like NobyuS Unplugged. 

Here is the crowd...

Here are NobyuS with DJ Childsplay in the background...

So, since it was Childsplay's birthday party he picked the songs and order on the fly. He'd drop a beat and they'd go in. Some of the songs were older ones they hadn't done in awhile so it would take them a sec.. But then they'd rock it out. It was kinda like skaraoke but with your own music instead of any random song. Very few artists ever do shows like that so it's pretty interesting when it happens.

I was happy they did my favorite NobyuS joint "OH NO!" I even got a video of it...

Thats me.. in the background.. Trying to sing along and dance.. But not move too much.

After they got done, DJ Childsplay's regular MC Big B actually got on the mic. I had to stop in my tracks because this dude was pretty sick. Not sure where he came from but he definitely has some dope microphone skills.

Then there was also some birthday shennagans and group shots outside which were hysterical. I took these pics while balancing on a rocking chair in 5 inch heels and did not fall and/or bust my ass while getting on or off said rocking chair.. That my friends is called "skills".

All in all, I have to say that this was a dope night and good times for sure. Everybody killed it and The Greene Turtle in Leesburg is now still a crime scene. I've seen NobyuS perform with a few DJ's and DJ Childsplay was my favorite one by far. He got them on the hype man backup exactly in the right spots and really added to the show. I told Kenny and Lyrion they should have him be their regular DJ from henceforth because they definitely make a good team. So I'm definitely hoping to see more performances like the one last Saturday in the future.

I also have to add that I support these guys not just because they're my karaoke fam.. But because I'm a huge NobyuS fan. Every time I've been to one of their shows it's always a dope ass fun party. I think all their stuff is quality and unique. It's intelligent but not so deep it loses people. They also definitely know how to make a good party rocker that gets everybody up dancing... All of this is why I highly recommend checking them out. I definitely know that Juddy, Ricardo, and Hazel are fans now so I guarantee you'll probably become a fan too. 

And like I said, I'm definitely now a big fan of DJ Childsplay. He's a down ass dude and we will actually both be playing on the inside stage at the 2nd installment of The Movement at Mahalo Cove in Sterling, VA on Friday, May 1st. So since I know ya'll are coming to see me cause you fucking love me, make sure you check out his set as well and show him some love.

In the meantime, if ya'll want to check out more from these guys and you've missed the fact that I've sprinkled mad hyperlinks throughout this shit then here they are one more time. This is DJ Childsplay's Facebook Page and this is  NobyuS' Facebook Page. You can also check out  DJ Childsplay's Soundcloud Profile and NobyuS' Soundcloud Profile. The guys of NobyuS are currently working on some brand spankin new tracks as we speak so as soon as they start dropping them I'll be sure to keep ya'll posted.

Adventures in Dating Douchebags: Meet Pusha C the Man Who Needs a Shirt

Seems like dudes just can't help themselves lately. I wasn't going to do a post about this one but I told some friends whahappin and they insisted that it needed to go in the blog.. Ask and you shall receive because Miss Slik always aims to please.

Here is yet another dude whom I would suggest avoiding or further subjecting to public scrutiny... Meet Colin S. Black aka Pusha C the Man Who Needs a Shirt...

Here is his Tinder profile...

See what I mean.. This dude is only wearing a shirt in 2 out of 6 pics. He's definitely nice to look at though and as I said in More Adventures in Dating Douchebags... Meet the Dumbass Who Definitely Should've Known Better he can actually get away with posting shirtless pics since he does have a stomach I could do my laundry on. But one or 2 shirtless pics is sufficient. The majority of your pics should be of you in clothes.

So I ran across this dude and swiped right because he was pretty to look at. He messaged me...

I'll admit that "unique beauty" thing was good. 

So over the next like week and a half, I was sporadically on Tinder to check my messages and swipe while I was bored because things weren't really progressing with Mr. Dreamy... who, by the way, probably won't be discussed in any further posts.. at least not favorably... The dreamy bloom of that rose has worn off and become a nightmare since he has pissed me off by blowing me off while I was, of all things, trying to attempt to sort things out and make plans to see him to give him money for my friends' presale tickets for his show he invited me to which I don't really see myself attending anymore. Even if we're just being friends this blowing me off shit still isn't even remotely cool and shows a lack of respect and consideration. Clearly, I am not the chick you want to do that to because I obviously don't take kindly to that sort of dickheadish behavior.

So I'll be buying my own 7-Eleven with my J.K. Rowling writing money and realizing my Infinite Slurpee Dream without his help and I will make sure the staff have explicit instructions not to sell him any burritos.. Because burritos are for people I like who treat me nicely when I'm spending my time and energy doing stuff like hitting up people in charge of said show about policies and making sure I'm legit with press credentials and shit so I can write nice articles about their bands.

Anyway.. Bygones.. Back to the story...  

During that time, Pusha C asked me out for drinks like 4-5 times. I kept saying "Sure" and then dropping the ball. Then last Thursday, I finally picked the ball up and he asked me out again so I gave him my number. We texted and made plans to meet up for drinks the next night at my Friday night karaoke spot. 

He asked me for pics so I added him on Facebook.. which is how I know his full name... Pretty sure the S stands for Sucker. Dude proceeded to go check out my profile and kept texting his thoughts on like every fucking pic on my profile. I didn't really check out his profile at that point because I was tired and ready to go to bed so I figured I'd do that later.

Well, I'm bored at work the next day and haven't heard from Pusha C to confirm plans yet. I go look at his Facebook profile to check it out and find that this fucker has defriended me! I'm like "What. The. Fuck?!"  The only reason I could think of that would explain him doing this shit was because he saw my Dating Douchebags posts I shared on my profile and thought he was next... Turns out he is.. But if that was the case he could have at least said something about it.

Here is his Facebook profile btw...

After seeing the defriending, I texted him like everything is cool and asked, "So are we still on for tonight?". I got no response to my text. I was only meh about this guy to begin with but being defriended and blown off definitely made me feel like a loser. I couldn't even make any other plans because it was like 6:00pm and everyone else was already committed to their own plans. I ended up kicking it at home with Felicity watching Grimm and passing out on my couch early... well, and exchanging some sexy texts with a certain close gentleman friend whom I've known for a few years now... Who you ask?

The Christian Grey of my life has returned! We started talking again earlier last week when I noticed some troubling Facebook posts and checked in on him. Turns out he is once again single and still about it. So now he's coming to visit me in a few weeks... and bringing the Red Room of Pain with him. I cannot think of a more awesome way to end what will be a verging on 7 month dry spell by then. 

He is the man I used to run to when other men disappointed me and made me feel shitty because he always makes everything better. He gorgeously scrumptious to look at, smart, funny, extremely well endowed and appreciates me and gets me in ways most people don't because we are very similar people. Thank God he is there once more to pick me up and pull me out from my loser misery cloud of shit I seem to find myself in so often. How I missed his charming wit and all those artistic dick pictures. Yeah, he puts all kinds of filters, uses props to scale, and even makes me erotic collages. He's the best ♡. Fellas, take a tip and send some stuff like that to your ladies. I guarantee you they will go bananas and give you that good porn star loving.

Anyway, as much as I'd like to go on about that because I could all day... Again.. Bygones.. Back to the story... 

So I woke up a bit later that night to these texts from Pusha C at 2:41am that I waited until the next morning, which would be last Saturday, to respond to...

Yeah, no fucking way. If a dude blows me off for plans, then 9 times out of 10 I won't make plans with him ever again because he's already demonstrated that he is unreliable and has no consideration or respect for me and my time. Also, that "careless finger pressing" is bullshit. You have to go through a process to defriend somebody on Facebook so it had to be intentional.

Well, next thing I know, my phone is ringing and it's Pusha C. So I answered and here is where shit gets ridiculous. Dude apologized again about the defriending on Facebook. I'm like "Dude, I don't know you and you don't know me. I have no reason to believe you and you have to appreciate the fact that I have a shitty track record when it comes to men because I am a douchebag magnet.. like so much so that I have a segment on my blog about it because I've met soooo many douchebag assholes that I had to turn it into entertainment and laugh at it so I didn't feel like a loser." He asked me "Wait, are you calling me a douchebag?" If the shoe fits dude. If the shoe fits.

I also said that his careless finger pressing still doesn't explain why he blew me off for the plans it was his idea to make in the first place that he persisted in making several times. This fool then apologizes for that too and tells me the reason he blew me off is because he went to happy hour and got blackout drunk and that he doesn't remember anything from about 5:00pm Friday night through waking up on Saturday morning.

Now ya'll know I can't really be too super judgey about him getting that drunk because, as you'll recall from my post Whahappin During My World of Drum and Bass Adventure?! I went into blackout mode myself a couple weeks ago. But, actually I can be judgey and here is why...

When I got blackout drunk, I was with the people with whom I had plans and they were fucked up too so I didn't blow anybody off. Plus, if you have plans to meet up with somebody for a date then it's not a good look to be showing up wasted anyway so it's probably not the best idea to do happy hour.. Why not go home and get fresh? 

Also, I only have a couple fuzzy hours in there that I don't remember from about 3:00am on. This dude was out for the count for his entire Friday night.. which raises some serious red flags for me. Finally, getting blackout drunk is typically not something I'd lead with when trying to impress somebody I want to date... nor is it a good excuse to use for standing that person up.

But wait... It gets even better.

Pusha C somehow thinks that his apology has sufficed and asks me to have drinks with him. I told him I was busy and had stuff to do on my Saturday and then my boys' hip hop show to go to that night.. which we will get into in Part 2 since this is a double post week.. YaY! 

Now during this conversation, I'm sniffling the whole time because I'm a nerd with bad allergies and it's Spring. I had actually just used my allergy nasal spray so I was having some snotty, post nasal drip issues. I also happened to be sitting outside smoking a cigarette so I guess he heard me inhaling and breathing out the smoke. This is when dude asks me if I'm high. 

I told him I was stone cold sober and about the allergy sniffles and shit and he just absolutely refuses to believe me and insists I must be smoking weed and says my voice even sounds like that of a stoned person. I'm like "Dude, I'm just fucking mellow right now." He tells me, "It's totally cool. It's legal in DC and I smoke weed too." I'm like, "That's cool. But I'm seriously not high. If I was I would tell you." 

He seems to finally kind of accept that I'm telling the truth. So then this dumbass tells me he has some weed and invites me over to his place to come smoke with him. I'm sitting there in fucking amazement like, did this dude I don't know and have never met in person in life ever just invite me over to his house to do drugs on a fucking Saturday morning?!? 

This is exactly how serial killer rapists lure in girls to do all that fucked up shit to them, kill them, and then stash their bodies. Now I'm not saying this guy is like that.. But since he's some strange dude I met off the internet, there is no way of knowing this for sure and I'm not exactly trying to find out. I definitely advise that for your own safety and well being you should NEVER EVER go over to the home of anyone you meet off the internet before you've met them in person in a public place and established that they are not psycho.

So I, of course, refuse this because I don't want to do drugs.. especially not with this guy.. nor do I want to end up on the news because police found my dead, mutilated body in a field somewhere or washed up on the shore of the Potomac. Remember all those after school specials you watched as a kid with D.A.R.E. and McGruff the Crime Dog and just say NO people... JUST SAY NO!

Well Pusha C still wants to have drinks with me and meet me and is trying to sweet talk me. I told him I'd think about it. He's like "I really want to meet you" and telling me I'm hot and sexy and shit and that he wants to see me in my naughty Santa outfit and rip it off me.

He's referring to this picture from both my Facebook and Tinder profiles... 

Yeah, I know. I am hot and sexy *brushes pimp dust off shoulders*

I told him, "First, no one is ripping that thing off me because it's expensive." So he replaces rip with "delicately remove". "Second, if you want that then you need to put in work and come correct because I don't let just anybody do that shit." He says he wants to put in that work... and then this fucker dares to ask me to send him a fucking naked picture of myself to beat off too! I tell him no fucking way. I'm not sending naked pictures to some douchey stranger. So he offers to send me one in return.. like that's going to make a difference. I told him not to do that because I didn't really want to see this fool naked.

I'm like, "Instead of focusing on my body and trying to get me naked and shit, why not try focusing on my brain instead? I actually have a pretty nice one." So that's when he starts saying all this shit about me being the total package and I'm like "You're damn right I am." He continued on and this is when I start thinking I just really need to get off the phone with this jackass. So I say some placating bullshit and then I end the conversation. Then I just sat there in amazement because that entire thing was fucking surreal.

Fellas, here is yet another example of what not to do. I feel like not getting blackout drunk and blowing chicks off when you have date plans, accusing chicks of being high when you don't know them, then offering them drugs.. when you don't know them, and then propositioning them for naked pics.. Again.. when you don't know them should have already just been an understood thing. But if you didn't know or needed clarification then now you have it. For real, that dude is 30 years old. If you're 30 years old you should know that shit by now.

Ladies, this guy is still out there cruising so if his profile comes up then do yourselves a favor and swipe left. You really don't need any of that in your life... And if he offers you drugs then JUST SAY NO! Do not go over to his house because you may potentially end up on the news when you're found in a ditch.

Finally, everyone.. Please cross your fingers for me and hope that there is not another installment of Dating Douchebags next week because your girl seriously needs a break from this shit.

Adventures in Dating Douchebags: Meet Prince Wannabe Karaoke Player the Fool of Fairfax

So I'm out at karaoke at The Old SheBitch last Friday night with my boys William, David, and Chris doing my weekly karaoke thing wrecking shop and whatnot with my dope singing performances.. I'm sitting there minding my own fucking business when THIS DUDE comes up to borrow the karaoke book we've bogarted for our table...

Here is another mofo whom I would suggest avoiding or further subjecting to public scrutiny... Personally I would prefer the latter. Please subject him to LOTS of public scrutiny... Meet Prince Wannabe Karaoke Player the Fool of Fairfax aka The Acoustic Storm aka Brian Johnson...

Here is a pic from his band fan page which is actually closer to what he looked like last Friday since he was wearing that beanie...

Yeah, I know.. This guy has Douchey O'Toolbag written all over him. He's 30 years old, which is all the more reason he should know better by now.. Real quick.. Fellas, just so you know, 24 is the last cute age you will ever be. Once you turn 25 you can no longer get away with the same dumb, immature bullshit you used to pull because people will start holding you accountable for it.. especially women. 

Anyway, he lives down the street from me in an apartment complex called The Arbors so I wouldn't doubt if we frequent the same grocery stores. He's also an IT recruiter by day and then does music on the side... When I met him he told me he usually hangs out upstairs because he plays acoustic guitar for the bar's live music nights *flips hair*.

Now bear in mind, there are like 4 other books sitting on a table only a few yards away from us. But yet, this dude just had to have mine. When he asked I said, "You can't run off with our book. You can sit right here at this empty table next to us and look through it so I can watch you like a fucking hawk and make sure you give it back." Just FYI BTW, that was not a pickup line. I always say that same shit to anyone who tries to take my book at karaoke regardless of who they are because I don't want them to steal it. Ask anyone.

So he sits down and he starts talking about himself and music and whatnot and he asks me if I want to sing a duet. I agree and tell him to pick out a song. Well, all the songs he picked were not duet songs or even songs I know well or at all so I vetoed them. Then he tells me to find a song for us to sing. While I'm flipping through the book we continue talking and he goes on about his band and acoustic guitar stuff and whatnot. I tell him I'm a DJ *flips hair*... Cause I'm awesome too.

I told him about the legend that is Niki Slik and mention that I'm the Queen of Fairfax. So this dude starts trying to come up with a way in his tiny, pee-sized brain to usurp me and be King. I told him no fucking way would that shit ever happen and that instead of trying to kill me off he could maybe just marry me or something and become a King Consort.. unless I did like Queen Victoria or Queen Elizabeth II and left him as a Prince so that my monarchy would be absolute... which sounds better. The best this mofo could do now though is be my court jester now cause he is a dumbass fool. Crowns are for winners dude. Crowns are for winners. 

During our conversation he invited me to his gig he was playing the next night.. which would be Saturday. So we add each other on Facebook and exchange numbers and stuff. I'm thinking this dude is like perfect.. tall, cute, plays music, lives close by.. all of the above. Whenever he looks away, I keep turning to David all excited and quietly mouthing "He is so cute!" He couldn't understand what I was saying and wasn't being subtle about it. 

I then introduced him to my boys and he tells them "Hi, I'm Harmless".. I couldn't hear him and neither could they and I'm thinking he said something else so I'm like "His name is Brian." He said "I introduced myself as Harmless because those guys are all bigger than me and look like they could kick my ass." So I tell them that. I'm like "They won't as long as you don't do something stupid."

After a bit, Douchey O'Toolbag gets up to go hang with his "posse".  I'm like "YaY! Let me brush off my shoulders cause they are covered in pimp dust." I was just so excited that, for once, a dude... a super cute dude.. a super cute dude who is in my age range and has a lot in common with me... actually came up and talked to me... a super cute dude who actually has balls.. I feel like ya'll need to appreciate the fact that random dudes I don't know.. especially super cute, single ones.. like pretty much NEVER come up and hit on me because they're intimidated by me and have no balls. It's true. Apparently I am so devastatingly hot and awesome that it actually strikes fear into the hearts of men.

He keeps coming back by to check if I've picked a song for us. I finally told him I gave up on that because I couldn't really figure out what to do and then my boy Davelicious told me the list was closing so if we didn't have it in already we wouldn't get to do it. I already had another song in for myself anyway so he put in his own.

He got called up and sang "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel... which wasn't bad. During his song all the ladies were swoony including me (I'll admit it) and one of them got up on stage and danced with him for a sec then goes back to her friends like all "OMG" excited. He gets done and then it's my turn. I sang one of my go-to jams "Aerials" by System of a Down cause I'm a badass. I wrecked shop AGAIN and had the whole bar singing along with me. The karaoke DJ was like "Well if she didn't shut it down before, she certainly did now."

After I got off stage and made my way through the barrage of high fives, I went up to the bar to get another drink.. Douchey was standing there and the girl he was dancing with was buying him a drink.. I laughed and said "Looks like you got yourself a little karaoke groupie there pimpin." He's like "Yeah.." So I'm like "It's cool. I too have karaoke groupies." *flips hair*

I went back over to my spot to sit with my friends and William asked "So is he Mr. Dreamy now?" Of course not! Perish the fucking thought! Mr. Dreamy is Mr. Dreamy. He can't be replaced. He knows who he is and likes his nickname and it belongs to him until the end of time. It's not a beauty competition title like Miss America where it can just pass from person to person annually based on how pretty they look in evening gowns and swimsuits. Besides, I will say that Douchey O'Toolbag is pretty but he's not dreamy. There is a difference.

Mr. Dreamy actually invited me to his band's show in a couple weeks... which he's never done before. He's so cute when he's inviting me to his shows and guestlisting me with winky face texts and shit. It makes me feel all blushy and giddy and stupid like I'm some kind of special cause he wants me to be there so much so he's made it impossible for me to decline since I'd be getting in for free.. Not even sure if I am any kind of special to him and think I may even be reading too much into it because he probably just wants me to do some promo shit on my blog.. But I don't care. I will live in my teenybopper crush delusion of grandeur.

As I laughed about that preposterous notion, I got up and went to the ladies room to break the seal... Meanwhile I was actually trying to figure out what this dude's nickname would be. Karaoke groupie girl happened to be in there too. While I was washing my hands and straightening, she complimented my shirt and then my toenails and told me hers were the same color... I could tell she was sizing me up because we were both talking to the same dude.

Anyway, I came back out and my boys continued ragging on me about Douchey. William was like "I'm in a band. I play acoustic guitar" *flips hair* "I wrote you a song. Wanna hear it? It goes like this...

 

Your name is.... Niki? Yeah.. Niki

It rhymes with... Sticky..

I got you this flower

So don't be picky."

 

I laughed and then went back to the bar to go close my tab. I saw Douchey so I told him my friends were giving me shit about him and sang him the song.. which is still stuck in my head btw.. Meanwhile karaoke groupie girl is still right by him and I notice they're being kinda flirty and shit and it's starting to get weird. I'm thinking "Is there something I'm missing?"

 

Then she gives me this look like "Uhhhh you can go now cause I've claimed this one." So I pull Douchey aside and I ask him "Why is your karaoke groupie giving me the stank eye?" And this when he tells me, "Oh, that's my girl." Excuse me. "Your girl? If she's your girl then why the hell were you talking to me?" He tried to pull this innocent shit like "Oh I just came up to borrow a book." We both know that was not the case and there were soooo many points during the conversation we had where he could've mentioned the fact that he not only had a girl.. BUT that she was there with him on the other side of the bar!

I'm just standing there with my jaw on the floor totally amazed by this mofo's brazenness. So I put my hand up and did the little 'Oh HELL to the Nah I'm about to get ratchet' wave and then thought better and said "WOW.. Whatever. Fucking unreal. Just forget it." Then I walked away because it just wasn't worth it to even bother making a scene.

So karaoke groupie girl who turned out to be Douchey O'Toolbag's girl followed me over to my table and asked me what was going on. I looked at her and said "I don't want to get all up in your situation but you need to put your man in check cause he's been over here hollering at me all night." My boys stepped in and told her that I was telling the truth and that he'd come back to our table several times and introduced himself as Harmless and shit.

I went on and told her that I didn't know he had a girlfriend because he didn't tell me. She lets me know they just started seeing each other. So I'm like, "Then that makes it easier to cut it off now. You're cute and seem nice. I'll pimp you out on my blog and you could have a new boyfriend by next week." Then I handed her my phone and she added herself on Facebook (she declined my request she'd sent though.. which is fine) and then I told her about my Dating Douchebags segment.

Here is this girl by the way...

 

 

See, she's cute and nice. I think she could definitely do better than Douchey O'Toolbag.. Turns out our mutual friends are actually my neighbors... And let me point out the fact that Douchey O'Toolbag not only hit on me while his girl was in the same bar.. He hit on me while his girl was in the same bar which is also the place she works at! She fucking works there! AND he did that shit where she works while she was there!

 

Anyway, one of her friends comes up and pulls her away and asks me about what happened and my friends kept stepping in.. I think they were afraid there was going to be a catfight or something so they were vouching for me and letting these girls know this shit really wasn't my fault because... Like I said at the beginning, I was just sitting there minding my own fucking business and this dude came up to me.

 

I was just amazed by this whole surreal situation. All I could think is 3 things.. First, that I am such a douchebag magnet and I just don't understand how I attract these fuckers. Usually I've been the one to pick them from a dating website. But this one just walked right up to me! Why me?!?! Second, when I said this dude had balls, I didn't realize just how big they must be cause.. for real.. hollering at chicks at your girl's workplace while she's also there right under her nose.. That is some brazen ass shit right there.. And third.. Oh shit! I need to take screenshots of this shit for the blog cause this fucker is getting blasted!

 

So I'm sitting there screenshotting Douchey's profIle and shit because I had a feeling he was going to defriend me... which he did. Meanwhile across the bar, chick is getting into it with him and she is making a scene. Once I was done my boys and I rolled out.

We were saying our goodbyes and smoking in the parking lot. Then I see chick's homegirl walking to her car right across from mine. I asked her how her friend was and she told me that chick is upset and doesn't know who to trust. I'm like seriously?! Between me and Douchey O'Toolbag, I'm definitely the one whose word should be taken at face value here. If I were in chick's shoes (and I have been), I'm taking whatever that girl says my man did over whatever he's telling me like 99.9% of the time because she's probably telling me the truth.

In this instance, I didn't even start any part of that nor did I volunteer shit to this girl nor did I bitch him the fuck out for being a dickhead... and believe me, I wanted to.. But I have some class and self respect so I walked away. She is the one who followed me to my table across the bar of her own accord to solicit an explanation of what happened from me. I even had 3 witnesses who testified that I was telling the truth.. Guy witnesses... which makes it even more valid cause most men are not getting in the middle of lady squabbles. So of all the people who get to be trusted in this particular scenario, it's fucking ME. If not, then what the fuck did you bother me and make me waste my precious breath and time for?

Anyway, while I was still bullshitting in the parking lot I saw that Douchey had defriended me on Facebook. I texted him to let him know I knew and informed him he'd be the subject of this week's Dating Douchebags blog post and that I'd be sure to send his girl a link to it... I'm not really going to send her anything. Honestly, beyond that night and this post, I have absolutely no desire to have any further involvement in their relationship drama.

That dude is sad and sorry anyway... Look...

I screenshotted his gig the day after which only 4 people apparently went to.. That's sad.

 

I also screenshot his band page... Apparently that background is his apartment.. which he also told me while we were talking when he found his band page on my phone and hit Like.. Thus forcing me to be the 82nd person to like his sad page.

Now, in comparison, I have 118 likes on my Miss Slik's Guide 2 Life Facebook Page (BTW, go Like my stupid page people cause Blogger says you're reading my shit) and then I have 220 likes on my semi-abandoned Niki Slik Facebook DJ Fan Page. SO, in the world of Facebook popularity contests I'm winning over this dude... Not by a huge margin.. But I'm still winning.. which is why I'm the Queen and this dude will never take my crown.. Cause like I said.. Crowns are for winners.

Fellas, this is yet another example of what not to do. If you already have a nice, cute girlfriend then don't be a dick and try to creep on her.. and especially don't be a dick and try to creep while she's across the bar at which she also happens to work. Ladies, this dude is still out there cruising.. and she's probably somewhere near by.. and she's probably somewhere near by. You don't need that in your life.

And finally, everyone, this dude sat there and plotted my death right in front of me just to usurp my throne. Pretty sure he'll probably plan my untimely demise for different reasons now. If you protect me, there may be a dukedom in it for you.. I can probably take him on my own though since, as you well know, I be kickin ass for infinity scarves and lighters and shit and will ferociously defend myself.. Cause Crowns are for winners. Woe to the Republic.