Friday, April 3, 2015

Whahappin During My World of Drum and Bass Adventure?!

So as I mentioned in my first post this week More Adventures in Dating Douchebags... Meet the Dumbass Who Definitely Should've Known Better you get a two post treat because I totally had to get into the craziness that was last Friday night... And I actually kept my promise this time!

Brace yourselves and grab a drink and a snack cause this story is a long one.. Ready? OK... And... GO!

Sooo I am so lame in my old age and rarely ever go clubbing in DC anymore unless there is something I really want to go to... Well, 3D Productions and BADASS Raves teamed up and put on World of Drum and Bass at Cafe Asia in DC last Friday, March 27th. I saw the flyer for it on the table I was sitting at at Transit weeks before and wanted to go.. But I'm so bougey and elitest since I've been in the scene for like 15-16 years now and was a promoter and just cause I'm Niki Slik dammit.. that I won't usually go to anything like that unless I'm guest listed M.I.P. style (Most Important Person.. cause plain old VIP stopped being special once you could pay for it). So I left it up to the universe to make it happen. My awesome pretend boyfriend Juddy aka Data Drop (♡ you Juddy) totally ended up coming through with a ticket for me and a spot in his car. So YaY! Clubby night in DC.

I had not gotten dressed up for a legit party in FOREVER.. So I of course put on a semi slutty short dress and dug out and dusted off my old shit kicker raver Go Go Gadget platform club kid boots with the springs in them that were hidden way in the back of my closet. This party was 18+ and these youngin little ravers always be stepping on my feet. That night I wished a bitch would...



I got ready and tried to eat dinner. But I was too amped to really eat much... That was a BIG MISTAKE... as you will later find out. Believe it or not though I actually made it out the door pretty close to on time.. for me anyway.. and for once, was not the one holding up the show... I drove out to Juddy and Ricardo's place and bullshitted for a bit and then we rolled out.

This was us at the beginning of the night.. Look at us all happy and cute and still remembering shit...



We got to the club around 11:30pm and all these kids swarm because Oh. My. Fucking. God.. It's Data Drop and Naughty Bitz! I'm fucking chopped liver because clearly these youngin ravers just do not know about the legend that is Niki Slik (You should know bitches.. and if you don't know you should learn). I practically had to pry these kids off and drag Juddy and Ricardo inside because I was cold and DJ's I like were playing and we were missing it. 

Good thing I did because SS was playing and he's dope...

 So first, THE PARTY... 

Welcome to the World of Drum and Bass....




That dude on the decks is SS... who actually remembered me from when I was his driver for One Nation in NYC during 4th of July weekend like 11 years ago. When last we had met, he was sitting in the passenger seat of my car laughing his ass off while I chased random girls in pink sweaters down the streets of Manhattan for Shy FX who was in the back seat of my car. 

This is part of why I was every UK DnB DJ's favorite and most requested driver back in the day... chasing down random girls for these dudes in my charge.. along with various other things like driving out of my way to special food places and randomly rescuing stranded DJ's from the DC ghetto and whatnot. I actually wasn't supposed to be a driver for that party though. But something happened to the person who was supposed to drive so I was asked to do it as a favor by my boy who worked for the production company. 

Bear in mind that I had driven up from NoVa that day and missed 90% of the party I had a comp ticket to for being the sole DC promoter for that party that year. I even missed most of one of Ol' Dirty Bastard's last performances before he died. But I am a good friend... So I ushered drivers from the party back to the hotel.. from the hotel back to the party.. to the hotel.. to the party for hours. 

It was awesome though because these were some huge DJ's I loved and had never met.. And here they were in my car. I know. I'm awesome. SS and Shy FX were my last ferry of the night... Well morning at this point. Then I hung out with them at the hotel for a bit while they teased me about John B who I had the biggest crush on that point.. like obsessed (sorry John B).. before going to Brooklyn for the posh after party with my friends and ODB's Entourage... Then onto Queens to meet up with my friends with whom I was staying. It was a long night/day. Anyway, the point is years later SS remembered me... Cause dammit I'm memorable.

Anyway... Bygones... Back to the party...

Which was dope.. 3D and BADASS Raves did a good job as always with this event... at least what I remember of it was dope...

So when we got there, like I said, SS was playing. Now if I have one complaint about this party it would be that I would not have put SS in that particular timeslot. This man has been doing his thing in a big way for 25 years. That is a quarter of a century people... And he's been well known stateside for longer than I've been around in the party scene which, like I said, is 15-16 years now. How could you put him in a slot to basically open for Crissy Criss?! Dude was still in pull-ups when SS began doing said aforementioned big things.

Now, no disrespect to Crissy Criss... But I had to look him up because I had no clue who the fuck he was. Here is the low down courtesy of what I learned on Wikipedia... He is a 27 year old DnB DJ and producer based out of London. His stepfather is Kenny Ken who was a big deal back in the day in case you don't know... Crissy Criss was a child prodigy who has been spinning records since he was 5 (one day my potential future child will do the same) and has been touring since the age of 11... But he didn't really make it here to the US very much, if at all, at least not to this part of the US, cause if he had I'd have probably known him and met him when I worked for John Tab back in the day.

Personally, I thought Crissy Criss was kind of a douche at first.. But then we had a moment comparing pics and shit on our phones. It was nice. So now I think he's a cool dude who is kind of fun. His set was solid for sure... which is to be expected since he's been spinning for like 90% of his life. I think he should be brought stateside more to the DMV on the regular so people can see him again... *Ahem* that was directed you DC, VA, and Bmore production company people.. You should book him again and drag his happy ass back across the pond for your parties cause he's worth it.

I still stand by my statement that SS should have played after him though purely based on tenure out of respect. He is one of the best of the best when it comes to UK DnB DJ's (all you other UK DnB DJ's I know out there do not take it personally cause you know I ♡ you too).. and even just DJ's period. He never disappoints when he plays. It's always high energy and insane. His track selection is on point. He's basically the man...

Like so much so that once he was done spinning he actually got on the mic and MCed Crissy Criss's set. I have got to say that SS is probably one of the dopest MC's I've ever heard. I never knew he had mic rocking skills that sick because in all these years and all those times I've seen him play I do not ever recall him doing that. I'm pretty sure there was an actual MC for the night.. Can't remember nor does it even matter because as far as I'm concerned SS owned that shit. If he'd played after Crissy Criss then I don't think that magic would have happened... So I guess it's all a tradeoff.

After that was Drumsound & Bassline Smith. Simon Bassline Smith's sets are, to me, simultaneously hard and exciting, but still chill and smooth all at the same time. Somehow even when he plays tracks from subgenres of music that I'm not really a big fan of like Dubstep he throws it down in such a way that it works for me and I can groove to it... I feel like that's a mark of a superior DJ. 

He's also just a really adorable person. He's got that kind of sweet British accent and demeanor that just makes you melt and go "Awwww" when he smiles at you and says "Hello Love." He didn't even really remember me. But we're Facebook friends and he totally remembers my dog Felicity from my gazillion posts about her because that bitch is adorable and famous too. 

Hold up! Wait a minute.. Proud dog mommy moment so you understand why she's so famous...



As Simon is such a sweet person and I tend to be on the hyped crazy side when I'm at parties, I limit my interactions with him because for some reason I don't want to annoy him.. which I feel like I would do if I stayed longer than whatever my party craziness containment limit is because he's just so chill.

It was about that time though that my alcohol consumption went up and my memory recollection and inhibitions went down... I couldn't tell you who played before SS and how good it was because I wasn't there. I couldn't tell you who played after Simon Bassline Smith because I don't remember much. I think it was the Prototypes though. But apparently I was way off the chain in ways I don't ever want to know about.

Bear in mind, 6 foot tall lady in a slutty dress bouncing around on a rampage through the club. Now I only paid for 3 drinks myself.. 2 for me and 1 for Juddy. DC drink prices are disgustingly outrageous by the way. Them bitches are $12+ for rail dixie cup sized drinks. It is highway robbery. But I was wearing a short dress on purpose so I wouldn't have to pay for my own drinks. I probably had like 4-5 dixie cup drinks and at least 3 shots.. maybe 4.. which were thimble sized.. which makes them more dangerous. Shots and Niki are a bad combination.. and remember I hadn't eaten enough. Chicks bought me shots. One of them was this girl who remembered me from when we both worked for Buzzlife.. which made me feel special cause at least somebody knew who I was after feeling like chopped liver earlier. She was sweet (shoutout to her).. I definitely know I slammed a dirty shirley and some shot some random dude bought for me shotly before I left though.. It tasted weird and I have no clue what it was. It's possible it was gross rail vodka with a hint of roofie cause generally I can hold my liquor.. even Juddy was surprised because he's seen me drink for years and I've never been so wrecked. But yeah.. I got white boy wasted.

Here are pics from the last of what I remember...

Me and SS...




Group shots with me, Deinfamous, Crissy Criss, and I think that dude in the camo hat is a Prototype...





Me sitting at the back edge of the stage... Yep, so wasted I'm making confused ducky fish faces...



That's about where shit went pear shaped... The rest of the night was all fragments. I remember that for whatever reason everyone I encountered who wasn't already Facebook friends with me needed to add themselves. I also remember that apparently even when I'm wrecked I'm hot because I managed to successfully mack on 2 dudes who were quite a bit younger than me within the space of about maybe 20 minutes before I left the club... One of whom was a dude named Marty Sidorchuck that I don't even remember meeting... But I know it happened thanks to the adding to Facebook (See there was a point to it after all).

The second was this poor dude named Adam (so surprised I did manage to remember him and his name even in my drunken state). He's also known as DJ Globb and actually closed out Transit this past Wednesday. Somehow he or we decided that I was riding with him back to Juddy and Ricardo's place because he was also coming to the after party. Juddy knew him and vouched for him and assured me I was not being kidnapped.

Now I have no clue where this dude was parked but that seemed like the longest walk to a dude's car EVER.. and I was not in the proper footwear to go on urban safari. I remember throwing up A LOT... I remember doing it in front of cops and them asking if I was ok. To which I replied as I finally was getting into his car trying to be all cool and totally not hot, "I'm not OK. He's OK. But I'm not OK.. That's why I'm not driving occifer." Nailed it.

I remember throwing up some more which no doubt was super unattractive.. and Adam telling me I'm awful. I was pissed at the time.. But in hindsight, he was totally right. At that moment, I was awful and fuck me for being so drunk cause it was bad. I've only been that wrecked one other time in my life when I was like 21. That time was way worse than this one because I don't remember most of the night and I actually threw up on random people in the club.. I don't want to remember that ever.. But that night I did somehow manage to convince some dude to buy me and my friend a bottle of Grey Goose in a club.. which is like $200-300 maybe more. I don't remember doing that at all but I wish to God I could because THAT my friends is called "skills".

THE AFTERMATH...

So the next morning I woke up in Juddy's bed.. still in my dress and socks, stockings run to hell, blowing crusty blood out of my left nostril (which still hurts btw), left knee scraped, right ring finger cut up having a Casper in Kids moment like "Whahappin?"



I also had an infinity scarf and brown lighter that aren't mine... and I have no idea where they came from or how I got them. I asked Juddy and he didn't know either. But if they belong to you and you can tell me what happened then maybe you can have them back... Maybe. 

Thanks to my Facebook post about it though, there is now a running joke that I, according to my boy Dave "kicked some ass to get that infinity scarf." It really does look like I did that and I racked my brain trying to figure out if I actually did fight anyone for their scarf. I'm typically not a violent drunk or a klepto though... But then again, I was in rare form that night.

For real, let's do take a moment to fully appreciate the fact that I was obliterated but still managed to not only keep track of all my stuff but got other people's stuff too. I didn't lose anything. I actually gained things. THAT my friends is also called "skills".




After I braced myself for my walk of shame, I went downstairs and even asked the cute little couch crasher raver kids whahappin. They said that I tried to fight them when they were putting me in Juddy's bed (Sorry random raver kids! Thank you for helping. You rock!). I was refusing and kept saying I needed to get home to take care of my dog... which was true.. My poor baby was so good while I was gone though. I've since made arrangements should there ever be another emergency situation when I can't get home so that she will never be stuck like that again because I still feel like such a shitty dog mommy for that. "I need to go home and take care of my dog" was like the theme phrase of my blackout mode though.

So I left... and of course, since my phone was about to die my Google Maps was not working.. But I somehow managed to remember how to get back home without it (Don't be so surprised. I actually have a pretty good sense of direction.) For real though, thank God there is a Starbucks by my place with a drive thru because I desperately needed coffee and food and there was no way in hell I was walking in shame in fucking public.

For real, the guy manning the Starbucks drive thru was super entertaining and seriously made my day. He originally thought they were out of these new double smoke breakfast sandwiches and I really wanted one. This dude magically managed to dig up the last one for me... which I ♡ him for. In the meantime, while I was waiting for my coffee and food, drive thru guy and I were trading stories of wild nights in DC. He said he always manages to lose stuff.. So when I told him about my scarf and lighter I ended up with, his jaw dropped. Pretty sure I'm his hero now.

Anyway, I got home and tended to poor Felicity and proceeded to doctor my wounds. Next thing I know I get a Facebook notification that Marty Sidorchuck has approved my friend request. I'm like "Who the hell is Marty Sidorchuck?!?" I went and checked out his profile and this dude is damn cute.. and I seriously love his name.

For real, I gotta say that while most drunk people get beer goggles and holler at some unfortunate looking people and have these Coyote Ugly moments.. I'm actually the opposite. When I'm drunk I get way more brazen and holler at even hotter dudes than I would normally talk to cause I don't give a fuck. 

I did hit up Marty on Facebook on Monday though because I was hoping maybe he'd be the key to my memory recollection... No dice. He was actually so gone he doesn't even remember how we met either! He's my new fave person though and has enormously benefitted my life this week. Marty is actually the person who prompted the blog revamp because he's the one I sent the old url to and realized it needed to be changed. He was a great sounding board and instrumental in me coming up with MSG2L... So basically Marty Sidorchuck is the jam. Ladies, he's 25, a veteran, really sweet, and super cute. If you live in the Philadelphia area you should hit him up cause he's a catch.

I also managed to talk to the guy who got me out of DC, Adam aka DJ Globb (who I gotta say real quick, is also pretty damn cute too.. Damn I have good taste when I'm wasted) when I was up at Transit on Wednesday. I apologized to him again because I do feel terrible for putting him through that and genuinely do appreciate the fact that he got me from the club to Juddy and Ricardo's in pretty close to one piece. Dude didn't know me and seriously could've just been like "Fuck this bitch" and left me on the street... But he didn't... which makes him awesome.

Unfortunately, poor Adam does remember what happened though and filled me in on some of it.. He was really nice about the whole thing but did tell me if I was going to apologize to anyone it should be his mom because I woke her up. I'm like, "Oh shit! How did I wake your mom up?!?" He was like, "When you were at my house." I'm like "When was I at your house?!?" Do not remember any of this.

Apparently, we stopped by his house on the way back to Juddy and Ricardo's so he could pick up his CD's and whatnot to spin at the after party. I guess I was being loud and woke up his mother. I also asked him how I got cut up and he said we fell down the stairs outside his house. I then sat on his neighbor's bench and asked him to take me home so I could take care of my dog... All of which I believe because it sounds like something I would do... So for real, this goes out to Adam's mom wherever you are...

Mama Globb (I call you this because everyone calls the moms of DJ's by Mama [insert DJ name here] like my mom is known as Mama Slik.. bygones), I wish to deeply apologize for my actions that night and for waking you up. I am truly sorry. You must be a really good mom to raise a son who was nice enough to take care of my drunk ass and not leave me on the side of the road... No matter how badly I vaguely remember him probably wanting to.. So thank you.

But yeah, apparently there is more but Adam said I don't want to know. He's probably right. He also doesn't know how I got the infinity scarf though.. So for real, if anyone who reads this is actually the rightful owner and you want your scarf back then please get at me. In the meantime kids, let this be a lesson to you... or not.. Cause I still had a kick ass night.

The End.

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