So I haven't done one of these in FOREVER... Not because I haven't dated any douchebags.. Cause I've dated a bunch of douchey mofos since my last Dating Douchebags installment More Adventures in Dating the Douchebags of PoF: Meet Metrosexual Magic Mike.. But more because their douchebaggery just wasn't blatantly stupid and laughable enough to make for good blog fodder and whatever they did didn't annoy me enough to post about it.... Until now...
Here is another dude whom I would suggest avoiding or further subjecting to public scrutiny... Meet the Dumbass Who Definitely Should've Known Better aka Wes Grant...
He's 31 and he's from around the Northern Virginia area. As far as I know he actually lives in Fair Lakes near me but he's apparently moving to Reston soon. I know this because he actually told me the other day during a text conversation. He also works in Accounting by day and does music on the side like me, is a dog owner like me, and even has red hair.. like me.. Clearly we have a lot in common and, one would think, we could potentially be very compatible to date or at least be friends... But apparently not. To be clear though, we actually never dated or even went out on one date or have even met in person ever.. We never got that far because he is a Dumbass.
For those of you who have been loyal readers of my blog since the beginning you may even remember him from my post a couple years ago Check This Out! Bonus Music for Your Monday... DMV Local Band - Madison Apart. He is the bassist for that band...
Here is a pic of him in action that I pulled off their Facebook band page...
Quick sidenote... Just FYI, this is not the same band dude I mentioned in my post Miss Slik's Guide to Dating: The 3 Date Rule. That was Mr. Dreamy and he's a guitarist for a different local band. Pretty sure I won't be blowing him up any time soon.. if ever.. for 2 reasons. The first, I'm still possibly trying to bang him at some point in the hopefully not too distant future and maybe cultivate him into a "special friend with whom I have interesting and intelligent conversations" if he stops acting so sadiddy and gets with the program. Pretty sure publicly dissing him on the interwebz would be counterproductive. The second reason is because when his band gets super famous (which I believe could actually happen) he's totally going to buy me a 7-Eleven because I told him he has to so I can have access to infinite slurpees for the rest of my life. I want my Infinite Slurpee Dream dammit! There is also the secret 3rd reason, which is that I actually like him as a person and he's fun to talk to about stuff... most of the time. He actually gave some input to help with the blog revamp the other day which I appreciate. But, since I do get that I'm such a man eater it may be hard to keep all my dudes straight, I figured I should clarify that.
Anyway... Bygones... Back to the story...
So, I first encountered this fool on PoF like 3 years ago I think. I don't remember who messaged whom first... I think it was me. But I do remember that we had a lovely conversation about a mutual fave show Eastbound & Down. He seemed cool.. I thought we were getting along.. and then dude just dropped the ball. Not sure why.. But I've come to find out this is just his M.O..
Here is his PoF profile...
I've run across this dude on like 3 other dating websites since then in the past few years.. We talk. Seems cool. Drops ball. Last week I was bored and getting my Tinder swipe on when I ran across him again. I swiped right and found he'd already swiped right on me. I decided to send him a message saying something to the effect of "Since we keep running into each other on all these dating websites maybe we should just actually finally meet up in person for a drink."
Here is his default Facebook profile picture by the way.. It's actually the same as his default Tinder profile picture.. which I would show you if he hadn't unmatched me...
Anyway, he responded to my message about 20 minutes later and agreed and asked me when I was available. I told him whenever because since he lives like down the street I'm pretty sure I could find an hour or 2 to drag my happy ass to one of the many nearby bars. He told me he was busy with band shit all week but that he'd hit me up Friday to make plans for the weekend.
Then I gave him my number so we could sort it out and advised him not to wait until Friday to book time during the weekend because every time I say I have no plans, inevitably I immediately get hit up by a rack of people asking me what I'm doing. It's true. Believe it or not, I'm actually kind of dope and fun and people like hanging out with me... And I was right to advise that because right after I told him that my Friday got reserved for World of Drum and Bass... We'll get into that fun later.. I promise. This week will be a 2 parter because I HAVE GOT to tell ya'll whahappin to me last Friday.
He texts me later that day and we talk about tacos and what we both do for a living and whatnot. He says he has to go because he's about to head into the gym to workout... This is always what he's about to do. I have dated personal trainers who do nothing but work out for a living and somehow they found the time to text. I also work out and yet manage to have text conversations. So basically I think that's bullshit. Plus judging by that pic on his PoF profile I'm kinda thinking this dude never works out... and if he is then he's doing it wrong cause my guns are bigger than that.
Well Friday and the weekend came and went and dude did not hit me up like he said he would. I was busy being a maniac at World of DnB and then dead to the world recovering for the rest of the weekend so I kinda didn't really think about it or notice. I was way too hurt up to care.
On Monday I was kinda bored and hyper and having a moment so I hit him up. He is, again, about to head into the gym. He then, again, asks me what I'm getting into this week and when I'm free. I told him I currently had no plans other than going to Transit on Wednesday for my boy's birthday (shoutout to Ricardo aka Naughty Bitz.. Happy Birthday Ricardo!!!! ♡♡♡). He tells me that Wednesday is actually his only free day so I invited him to Transit. He said that would be too late for him since he has to be at work at 7am. So we agreed to get dinner before I went to Transit instead. He says he'll hit me up then and I'm like "You know you could keep talking to me in the meantime right?" He says he will... But hours go by and no text.
So the next day, which would've been Tuesday, I realize while I'm looking for an old post on How I Tricked Out My Blog so I can remember how to change my header pick to the new MSG2L graphic, I find that I had done that post about his band a couple years ago. I texted him the link and told him about it. In the meantime, I go respond to some Tinder messages and swipe a little cause I'm bored.. and much to my surprise this mofo comes up for swiping.. which shouldn't happen since we were already matched.. So I go check my messages and his thread is gone.. This piece of shit dumbass motherfucking douchebag had the nerve to unmatch me!? What a fucking tool?!?!
Well like a half an hour later, he responds to my text with, "Haha nice! That was a fun video to make." I ask him if there are any more recent ones cause I'm pretty sure there aren't... No response... Probably cause he damn well knows there aren't any recent ones... and now I know for sure too because I checked YouTube. For someone who is so super busy with band shit you'd think he'd have more to show for it. Mr. Dreamy gets all pissy and short and tells me he's busy with band shit too.. which I'm apparently supposed to magically know by osmosis that I'm interrupting with my ill-timed offers of sex and burritos like I stalk him... But the difference is when he says it I actually believe him.
All this non-responsive shit kinda brings me to my breaking point though. In the same day I'm also dealing with Mr. Dreamy being all elusive and douchey on top of this other guy I used to date last year texting me because he's trying to rehash things I'm pretty sure I don't want to rehash (we may get into that later)... Meanwhile I just want to actually go out with a dude who isn't blowing me off for some unknown reason, acting like a dick that just left me hanging during an intimate conversation, or being a Stage 3 Clinger who isn't quite getting the hint that I'm just not feelin it at this juncture.
So in my annoyed state, I text this dude, "So at the risk of coming off like 'that girl', should I actually plan my day around us meeting up tomorrow evening or no? I'm kinda getting the vibe you're not that about it.. Either that or you're just really not the best texter." Seems kinda bitchy and maybe would turn some dudes off but whatever. At least I gave him an out... And this dude still doesn't respond! Then Wednesday comes and goes.. No text from him, no call, no Tinder message, no carrier pigeons, smoke signals from down the street... Nothing... Not that I'd really expected it and probably would've fallen over in shock had he actually hit me up like he said he would.. But whatever. Fuck that dumbass toolbag.
Fellas, if you're not that into a chick then don't ask her what she's doing and attempt to make plans with her.. Not even once, but TWICE.. It's rude and inconsiderate.. And if you do make plans and you change your mind for whatever reason then you should at least be courteous and let her know you want to cancel. If you need to, make up an excuse.. Not that you're sick or have to work late or anything that would invite rescheduling.. Make it finite and permanent like you're moving to Antarctica or you've decided to convert to Islam and run off to join ISIS or that you have a microscopic penis (cause I'd definitely be out) or that you died... Or you could just grow a pair and tell her you're such an asshole that you can't even be bothered to follow through with plans you contributed to making twice because you're just not interested in her and do not want to meet her in life ever at all.
Normally, I wouldn't care if some dude was acting like this dumbass because I have other shit to do and a plethora of other men around who would love to have food and drinks and whatnot with me. But here is why this dude is so fucking stupid for pulling this shit...
This dude's name is Brett...
Now Brett and I came across each other on PoF too shortly after I first encountered the Dumbass. We were chatting in a friend way for a bit.. I wasn't really interested in him like that but he was cool to talk to.. Brett is or was or may even still be Dumbass's roommate. When he messaged me I noticed pics of the Dumbass and told him I'd talked to that guy before. But Brett is the reason I know that they lived down the street and about the band and whatever. He's the same Brett I shouted out in that post. Now Brett is also the guy who started that trend of dudes who are scared to date me because they are overly concerned they'd do something stupid and I'd blow them up on my blog.. Many have followed since who shared that fear but he was the first.. and the reason I had not done a Dating Douchebags installment since.
This dude, and Mr. Dreamy actually, are in a very tiny group of dudes who bothered to show a genuine interest in me and something I do and take the time to actually read my blog. That action in and of itself pretty much guarantees you will probably never be featured in this particular segment because I know you'll actually read it. I also make it a point not to publicly out people by name that I actually have real talks with and give even a fraction of a shit about even if they really piss me off. I just refer to them by nicknames or "(insert generic clarifying reference here) dude". Those other guys knew I had a blog but never cared enough about me or anything I do in any real way where I would know they actually read the posts about them.. and if they did I've never heard from them about it. The subject of this one might. But ask me how much I care. He deserves it.
Dudes are worse than women sometimes.. They get together and gossip like clucky little chickenheads. These dudes were roommates who were on the same dating website that ran across the same chick. I'd bet money Brett told Dumbass about my blog and those Dating Douchebag posts. I also gave Dumbass the link to my blog the other day and I'd again bet money he didn't bother to read more than that one post about his band.. If he had he'd have either followed through and we'd have met up.. or he'd have pulled a Chandler and told me he was moving to Yemen. Either way, he's a fucking idiot who should've known better.
Fellas, especially those of you in your late 20's or older, here is yet another example of what not to do. If you come across a chick who is nice and cool and tries to hang out with you and you decide you're just not interested for whatever reason then show some testicular fortitude and text her pretending to be your mom and tell her you're in a coma.
Ladies, this dude is still out cruising on at least Tinder and also still PoF because I just pulled those screenshots of his profile earlier today. Clearly he is a flake with no balls who lies about going to the gym and being busy with band shit. You don't really need that in your life. If you know him and have a date scheduled then I'd advise telling him you're in a coma.
Finally, everyone, just remember that dumbass douchebag tools who should know better don't deserve your mercy. Don't waste your time being considerate of anyone who shows a lack of regard for your time because it's disrespectful of you. People are busy and ain't nobody got time for that shit. Plus I think we're all a little too old at this point to act like or deal with dickheads.
No comments:
Post a Comment