Part 7: Conclusion of the FCKC War With ACI - Closing Thoughts

Closing Thoughts, Morals, Takeaways, Life Lessons, etc.

So, in case you haven't figured out why I don't care about obliterating my bridges with Glenn and Fingaz as discussed in FCKC War Footnote - Miss Slik's Advice On Burning Bridges and BONUS THEME SONG! ... I will not be competing in the Fairfax County Karaoke Championship next year in the Spring of 2014. Seriously.

I’m probably banned from competing in it anyway based on what has happened, which I’m OK with. But even if I would be allowed to compete by ACI, I do not want to. It is just not in me to go through this again for another 3 months of my life. I get nothing from it of any real value… In fact, I actually lose things of real value i.e. money for food, drinks, costumes, props, etc for and during competitions, vacation time from work, my friends, my sanity, my sleep, etc..

I had contemplated it though. I think in order to do it, I'd need a vocal coach, costume designer, and choreographer to assist me throughout the entirety of the competition. They would help ensure every part of the criteria was met to the letter and each performance was basically on par with shows like the Grammies, MTV, CMA's, etc.. Then, if I didn't win I could claim more foul play and start an even bigger war next year about issues with non-adherence to the criteria (which has also been a problem in the past) and more unfairness to contestants. But I don't think I want to put myself through that.

However, for anyone who thinks this is just a stupid karaoke contest and doesn’t understand why so many people are as angry as they are about the unfairness, I hope you get that we invest THREE WHOLE MONTHS EVERY SINGLE YEAR of our own lives along with the lives of our family, significant others, spouses, friends, etc. who get dragged along week after week, night after night, just to support us and contribute to those 10 measly Crowd Response points. All we do is sleep, eat, breath, crap, drink, and most of all, sing karaoke. I’ve lost several friends and even boyfriends over this contest. In fact, the length and detail of these 7 total posts should give you an extreme indication of how seriously we take the FCKC.

Even if I had won the whole shebang, what would $1,500 and a title have cost me? I hate who I become as a contestant in the FCKC. I hate who A LOT of us become when we compete in this contest. We are terrible people who would kill each other for three months because of this contest.

One of the winners this year who just missed that big prize said her only point of consolation for not winning 1st place was that she at least beat out a 13 year old child… a little boy she has had daggers for that had beat her our every year since he was 8 or 9 years old. I looked at her 2 years ago during my first time competing and said, “Do you realize you’re basically saying you’d shank a 9 year old for a karaoke title?”

Normally she’s a very lovely person who is quite friendly and loving of children so I found this extremely shocking. She even likes this kid under normal circumstances. He’s a very nice kid. I personally think he’s amazing and we both agree he should be on TV. But this is what I’m talking about. It’s disgusting behavior.

I’m disgusted with myself for having turned on my own friends… people who have done absolutely NOTHING to me EVER but be nice, caring, awesome people. This is most evident with Vince and Nani who beat me at the venue final for Fast Eddie’s Fairfax. I criticized their performances for weeks and scrutinized Vince's energy level and audience connection that night along with Nani's vocal ability (she really should sing more Country songs though because SWV does not show her range very well)... The thing is, I wasn't even the only one joining in on this discussion. However, bygones and sincere apologies go out to them whether they knew what was said or not because they didn't deserve to be shredded.

For real though, want to know of whom I am extremely envious and insanely, beyond blindly jealous of? Nope.. Guess again... It is definitely not the people who won at the Fair. I’m actually super happy for them, especially 2nd Place Winner Lauren and 3rd Place Winner Atir because they are both friends and fellow members of the Chuka League. WHOYOUWITH?!?!

Honestly, the person of whom I am the most jealous is my friend and another fellow Chuka League member, the Air Guitar Super Champion of the World, Richard Fraina. Why? Because he had the most fun that Friday night out of any of us. He didn’t make it into the rounds at the Fair and seemed cool with it. He also didn’t bad mouth anyone or hate on any of his friends.

“Went to celebrate Fairfax sang two songs at karaoke then saw sponge filter live and everclear. Got to hang out with friends and talk about music between bands overall a good night” and then he tagged a girl named Heather, Naniboo, and myself.

I saw him at the end of the night when I was getting ready to leave. He came back with the most gigantic smile on his face and pulled out 2 CD’s he got from the bands. His look on his face was the same as my friend Mele’s and mine the year before after we saw Legends of Hip Hop on the main stage at Celebrate Fairfax. It’s a look of mind-blown awesomeness at the craziness that has just transpired. I love the bands that performed and have been fans of them for years. I wish I would have just forfeited my spot and gone with him to see the show instead.

Here is where this whole situation becomes supremely ironic... The first week of competition, Richard was a judge at Fast Eddie's Fairfax for a Qualifier. We got into an argument when I lost because he deducted points from my score for cursing in my song, Nicki Minaj's "Did It On 'Em". You are allowed to do that during the Qualifiers because the bars most of the weekly competitions take place at are not family-friendly establishments. He disagreed and said that no cursing was one of the rules. My response was, "Yeah, you can't curse at the Fair but you can in the Qualifiers!" I had learned this lesson during Week 1 of 2011 when I competed in my first Qualifier ever.

I was so mad at him I didn't speak to him for at least a month after that night. But, who was right and who was wrong? The rules don't really specify and they probably should. At least I can walk away knowing that I somehow made a difference for the contestants by making a huge stink about it all... and that makes me happy. No matter what, I guarantee it will still remain a vicious cycle.

In the meantime, we still have about 8 months until the blood bath that is Karaoke Season begins again in March of 2014.

Hold up....

And just in case you missed them:

• The FCKC War with ACI - Part One
• FCKC War Footnote - Miss Slik's Advice On Burning Bridges and BONUS THEME SONG!
• The FCKC War with ACI - Part Two: The Incident at The Fair Friday Night

• The FCKC War with ACI - Part Three: The Aftermath and Love to Glenn
• The FCKC War with ACI - Part 4: More Aftermath and F You to Some People
• The FCKC War with ACI Part 5: The Judges, The Judging, and the Outdated, Arbitrarily Non-Officially Changed Rules
• The FCKC War with ACI - Part Six: Getting Official Word from Mr. Barry Feil!

The FCKC War with ACI - Part Six: Getting Official Word from Mr. Barry Feil!

Monday Afternoon - 6/10/13:

I did a little bit of digging based on Mr. Fingaz having said that he had spoken with the Director of Celebrate Fairfax because I wanted to know if he had told the truth. Well, there are 3 Directors and they are all women so I assumed this male Director was imaginary. But, being the professional that I am… journalistic integrity, truth-seeker, etc. I called the main line and pressed whatever button connected me to Media and Communications. I got the voicemail of VP and Managing Director Meagan Butkus. I left Ms. Butkus a message regarding this incident and let her know I was fact checking for an article I was writing.

Tuesday Morning - 6/11/13:

I received a call back from none other than the CEO & President of Celebrate Fairfax, Mr. Barry Feil. This is the person with whom Fingaz spoke so it was actually appropriate he was the person to return my call. I essentially got the Final Word on this situation “straight from the horse’s mouth” as they say.

Feil basically told me the same thing, that they go by FCC guidelines and "If it's on the radio, it's Okay." I began to break down for him exactly what FCC guidelines are but the second he used the term "community standards" I knew he wasn't stupid and did already have some familiarity.

He also told me that he has a nine year old daughter who, at only seven years old, knew all the words to the song "Gives You Hell" by All American Rejects. He said he didn't like it but there was nothing he could really do about it... and he's right. I feel for Barry Feil and do not envy his position. He's basically caught between a rock and a hard place. He is in charge of putting on an event every year that has to be relevant knowing in essence it contributes to situations like kids learning songs packed with "light profanity" at young ages.

Like it or not folks, this is the day and age we live in. There are supreme court cases going on as we speak that can and will change what is allowed to be said on radio and TV. Thanks to Safe Harbor Laws and people like Howard Stern, there really isn't much you can't do on the air short of showing hardcore pornography or graphically depicting obscene sex acts on the radio. I don't envy parents with small children because no matter what those parents do it is frankly impossible to shield kids from this... and it's not like you can wash your kids' mouths out with soap anymore like our parents did when we cursed when we were kids (think A Christmas Story) without fear of Child Protective Services showing up at your door.

But, here is the gist... If "light profanity" is allowed to be sung in songs at Celebrate Fairfax  in the Fairfax County Karaoke Championship, then the Official Rules need to be updated to reflect that with the clarification that "If it's on the radio then it's Okay." As it stands, the Official Rules were not observed and the people who followed them, like me and the other "sore losers", did get shafted because we could have sang more relevant songs.

The good news is that Mr. Barry Feil understands that and has agreed to update the Official Rules next year for 2014 to reflect it. 

Well HOLY CRAP! Somebody in charge of something to do with this contest actually admitted some kind of fault and did not call me a sore loser for daring to broach this topic... AND is even going to take action that will make the contest a little more fair for the contestants going forward. While this was not exactly the resolution I had in mind, I am still happy with it.

I later found out during the conversation that he only returned my call because he thought I was a reporter. He thought he got duped for a second...

No Mr. Feil, while I did take several courses related to journalism at George Mason University and worked for the Times Community Newspapers for nearly 2 years, I am not now nor have I ever been a reporter. But, I also never claimed to be. All I said was “I’m writing an article and am attempting to do some fact checking." As you can see, that was true. For all you know it could’ve been an article for karaoke enthusiasts, which is also actually kind of true.

I did want to be a newspaper reporter several years ago. But, the specific courses for the concentration in Journalism conflicted with my full-time work schedule at the time and paying my rent in full on time was of higher priority to me than selecting this particular concentration. I decided to go with Public Relations instead because the courses were nearly identical and the potential income of PR executives is A LOT more than that of a reporter unless you are Brian Williams or Katie Couric.

However, I am a published author and current blog writer, which in its essence is tantamount to being a reporter. Blogs seem to be the beginning of all things newsworthy these days and reputable media sources circulate our posts through the PR newswires. If I put enough SEO’s in this post and somebody decides the content of any or all of it is “newsworthy” it is very likely this story could become the basis for other articles then published by what you would consider more reputable media outlets.

In the meantime, please note that our obscure little blog which has only existed for about 2 months, is read in, at last count, fifteen countries on four continents and gets anywhere from 100-200 clicks on an average day. However, my readership has quintupled since I began this FCKC War with ACI series of posts and continues to grow. The only people who know that are me and the watchdogs at Adsense who decided I have satisfied their readership requirements sufficiently enough to allow me to have paid advertising on my blog. 

Why am I telling you all this Mr. Feil? Because you gave me your word that you would update the rules for the FCKC next year to reflect what we discussed and I intend to hold you to that. I encourage my readers to do so as well. I would also suggest that you read The FCKC War with ACI Part 5: The Judges, The Judging, and the Outdated, Arbitrarily Non-Officially Changed Rules to see the other rules that should probably be updated while you are at.

Stay tuned for Part Seven - The Conclusion of the FCKC War with ACI....

And just in case you missed them:

• The FCKC War with ACI - Part One
• FCKC War Footnote - Miss Slik's Advice On Burning Bridges and BONUS THEME SONG!
• The FCKC War with ACI - Part Two: The Incident at The Fair Friday Night

• The FCKC War with ACI - Part Three: The Aftermath and Love to Glenn
• The FCKC War with ACI - Part 4: More Aftermath and F You to Some People
• The FCKC War with ACI Part 5: The Judges, The Judging, and the Outdated, Arbitrarily Non-Officially Changed Rules

Another FCKC War With ACI Footnote: LULZ For Your Friday...

Special thanks to my homegirl Jeannie for tagging me in this pic on Facebook! I laughed my ass off at it and had to share. This perfectly describes exactly where we are at today with all this craziness, particularly the caption about what to do if the house is a lying whore.

FCKC War Footnote - Miss Slik's Advice On Burning Bridges and BONUS THEME SONG!

I believe the old saying goes something like, "Never burn bridges. You never know when you might need to cross them again." Well, that's a pretty passive, stupid way to operate when dealing with certain people who act like asshole douchebag fucktards. They know you won't burn the bridge so they use that as an excuse to continuously act like oppressive asshole douchebag fucktards. Just torch the motherfucker. 

If you're absolutely, totally, completely and utterly done with someone who has angered you to the point that you'd rather swim through raging river rapids filled with piranha and crocodiles and botchelism than ever cross that person's bridge again... Here is my advice for you.

Why just burn a bridge you never intend to cross again when you can flip a switch, turn some keys, and press the red buttons?! I mean you should go straight up Manhattan Project on a bitch, drop an A-Bomb on that wack ass stupid bridge, and decimate that MoFo like it was fucking Hiroshima.

But why stop there? Remember, you're dealing with the Honey Badger and Honey Badger don't give a shit. Personally, I prefer to go straight Project 7000 on some fools and drop a Tsar Bomba on that little bitch ass bridge. The Tsar Bomba is the most powerful nuclear bomb known to man and the size of the explosion is equal to 4,000 Hiroshimas... second only to the volcanic eruption that was responsible for the creation of Yellowstone National Park. It will basically take out not only that bridge, but like the entire state that bridge is in.

BOOM!!!

This is basically how I feel about ACI, Glenn, Fingaz and the 2-faced haters who participated in the fun we've got coming up later today... That's right, we're going to go... I believe the word is "Trolling" and show some actual stuff from Facebook. In the words of Yung Joc and Hotstylz, point 'em out.