Now let this be a lesson to you NEVER to fall asleep at any events which I am attending because I CAN AND WILL FUCK WITH YOU. This dude fell asleep in the basement so I decorated him with Christmas lights because I felt like he did not look quite festive enough...
I then posed with my handiwork in true scandalous booty ho fashion as everyone pulled out their cellphones and flashes went off in the dark like I was surrounded by paparazzi. I got tons of high fives for the rest of the night.
Well, I stepped back and began taking pictures whilst admiring my unsuspecting victim when someone had the nerve to put a Property of HOR sticker on him.
*GASP* What an outrage?!? Hold up, wait a minute! In the words of Honey Boo Boo, you better redneckognize!
I said "Do I look like Jake Komara to you dude?!? I'll thank you to get that HOR sticker off my victim. He is Miss Slik's Bitch not Property of HOR!" He laughed and took the sticker off.
Now y'all know I heart me some Jake Komara. He is my favorite little piece of scrumptious hotness and teen dream TigerBeat fantasy.
However... From henceforth the distinction must be made that if I'm the one putting Christmas lights on a person and doing mean things to them for my own personal amusement whilst they sleep then their ass is mine. They have officially been claimed as royal property of my Queendom and not that of the Republic. I guess I will have to invest in stickers of my own so people will know just who is responsible. But until then, get it right or become blog fodder.
This has been a royal decree courtesy of H.R.M. Queen of Fairfax Miss Niki Slik. YaY for me! Woe to the Republic.
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