Now that ya'll are paying attention, I guess I need to start beefing up my Sex, Love, and Dating section because you keep checking it out like you expect to find more than one post. I've been on several dates in the past several weeks and I've been DYING to break them down.
So I had a date a few weeks ago with this guy I met through the dating website I'm on. He was on and off about communicating.. Like we'd talk a lot one day and maybe try to meet up but it wouldn't work out and then nothing for a few days... Then he'd send me these random pics he thought were funny.
This was the first one....
Ummmmm... Yeah, because nothing turns me on or lets me know you're into me quite like pics of tranny dating profiles on PoF. He told me there are quite a few transsexuals on there. My response to him was "If that's what you're into.. I guess the heart wants what the heart wants.. or the penis rather.. Patti Stanger on Millionaire Matchmaker always says the penis does the picking".. He swore up and down he was straight and loved boobs and vaginas.. I was like "Well consciously maybe.. But not subconsciously apparently. Subconsciously I'm sure I'm attracted to a bunch of things I'd never consciously admit to.."
My example was making an Eiffel Tower in a 3-some with this dude and a big-dicked, big-boobed tranny... which the more I thought about it, actually seemed like it could be pretty hot. I like boobs and large penises and theoretically this tranny would have both. He told me he was cool with that and to pick one out... WHAAAAATTTTT?!?!?!? That ladies and gentlemen should've deterred me from ever speaking to this dude again. It is a giant red flag.
Really though, I've gotten to the point with dudes where I just don't care anymore. I'm a douchebag magnet as you will discover. I've been experimenting with new and different ways to push their boundaries and see what they'll let me get away with. Why not right?
Anyway, we tried to meet up and again it did not work out and again I didn't hear from him for a few days. I was about ready to write him off until I got this...
So I laughed because who doesn't love Will Farrell and joking references about male genitalia and A Few Good Men? Then I let him know he'd just about gotten written off because I was tired of being shot down on hanging out. I told him I wasn't going to ask him if he wanted to do anything anymore... but that since he was the dude and I'm theoretically the chick in this scenario, he should be the one asking me anyway... So then he asked me out to dinner.
We ended up going to Champp's because they have karaoke on Friday nights and I wanted to practice my songs for the Fair. I thought he was cute in person but had a serious issue with blinking way too much... either because he has some kind of weird eye condition, thought it was flirtatious, or the more logical explanation, he lies a lot (abnormal amounts of blinking signal lying).
Anyway, we finished dinner and I finished my like 6-7th girly tequila drink and we rolled out. He walked me to my car and I go to hug him and thank him for a nice night. He kissed me... Then copped a feel everywhere like that was supposed to do something for me... Then he says to me "Are you ready to make some poor decisions?" (Sidenote: this dude kept talking to me about making poor drunken decisions. I kept telling him, "I don't make poor decisions. I make bad decisions.. HORRIBLE ones even." For real, who makes poor decisions when they're drunk?)
I just busted out laughing. I was like, "OH. MAH. GOD! Yeah, I'm going to go home alone. That is my decision." Well, he didn't like that very much and began to storm off like a bratty 3 year old who got sand in his crack, packed up his G.I. Joe's, and announced he didn't want to play anymore and was going home. I stood there watching him walk off and was like "Really dude?! WOW! Sorry you didn't bring your A+ game tight enough to close on the first date. Besides, I don't see a tranny anywhere, so clearly you did not come prepared."
For real, if you're a dude, you shouldn't expect to get it in on the first date. Chicks are at least supposed to get a grace period of a minimum of 3 dates before you should begin expecting anything. This dude was actually a good-looking guy who, despite being somewhat corny, probably could've gotten it after another date or 2. But, acting like a bratty little kid is not exactly a turn on.
His name is Sam. He's like 29-30, 6 ft., black hair, blue eyes, works for US Customs, lives in Alexandria, and lies about his penis size. If you're on PoF and you come across him then duck him like it's your job and avoid him like the plague because he is wack and you don't need that in your life. Trust me. Personally, I'd take that tranny any day over this fool since it would probably be way more fun.
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