Miss Slik's Famous Recipe for Anti-Cellulite Coffee and Brown Sugar Scrub

OK, soooo last week when I was home sick with bronchitis I got super bored and started Googling home remedies for cellulite. This is a problem every single woman has no matter what age and size they are. Even super skinny size 0-2 bitches have cellulite... I know, I've seen it. I swear to you this is a fact. I found this particular remedy recurring on a few sites so I figure it must have some merit to it. I figured why not try it out and see if it works. Here is the recipe with my own tweaks:

Miss Slik's Anti-Cellulite Coffee and Brown Sugar Scrub Recipe

1/2 Cup Coffee (it doesn't matter what kind as long as it's not decaffeinated because the caffeine is what helps break down the cellulite)
1/3 Cup Brown Sugar
2-4 TbspWater
1 Tbsp Olive Oil (you can also use Coconut Oil)
2 tsp Raw Honey (this shit works for everything like a freaking miracle)

Put all of the ingredients into a container with a lid so you can keep it in the shower to use every day. The water is a guesstimate. Start with 2 Tbsp and add more if it still looks dry. You can also adjust the olive oil and honey to your liking. You're trying to make it like a paste or the same consistency of other scrubs you use. The nice thing is you can keep adding to it every morning after you make your coffee so you'll never run out.

NOW for the fun part... You want to get a bristley brush like a pedicure brush for this. Take some more olive oil or coconut oil and rub it into the area with the cellulite in a circular motion. Then brush your skin in an inward-upward circular motion-the key is to brush up towards your heart and the lymphatic system. After that you take the scrub and rub it on in a circular motion. Leave it on for a few minutes. You can also wrap yourself up in plastic wrap and let it seep in. Just do it in the shower or you're going to have coffee grounds EVERYWHERE. After it's done seeping in rinse it off. 

I've been doing it for the past several days. I noticed a slight difference in the appearance after the first time but as I continue to do it I can see it's breaking down a bit. But here was the best thing.. I have eczema on my legs that has been a bitch to get rid of and I'll be damned if it isn't gone after just one use of this scrub. My legs have NEVER been so smooth EVER. I can't use exfoliating body wash or any pumice anything on my body or I will break out in hives and bumps from allergies. But this stuff is all natural so it doesn't irritate my sensitive skin. On that strength alone this shit is fucking miraculous. 

Here are all the ingredients I use for it along with the brush, container, and also my little travel size bottle filled with olive oil that I keep in my shower.

That is what it should look like. It looks gross but I'm telling you it's good stuff. It actually smells pretty tasty though believe it or not. Theoretically it is edible but I wouldn't recommend eating it.

So there it is. Let me know if it works for you or how you tweak it to work better because I'd love to hear what you think.