OK... So as I mentioned in Part 1 of last week's post Adventures in Dating Douchebags: Meet Pusha C the Man Who Needs a Shirt, Mr. Dreamy was being a dick and blew me off and I was no longer going to the show to which he'd invited me. Well, the day after, which would've been Friday, he hit me up like "Can you do Monday? It's been a hectic week." I responded, "Did you magically remember I exist as a person in life just now or did you read my blog post from yesterday and see that I'm pissed at you for blowing me off?"
Well, he then said he doesn't read my blog... which I kinda don't believe because his timing was pretty convenient and also think is a fucked up thing to say to someone especially when they've been gearing up to do a big article on your band.. Needless to say, we got into it and I did not hold back. We hashed out all kinds of shit including why he kept dropping the ball on my offers of sex and burritos.
Turns out he does want my burritos (damn right) but he thought they'd been taken off the menu based on things I said on our 1st date.. which you'll recall I discussed in Miss Slik's Guide to Dating: The 3 Date Rule. He thought that because he didn't want a serious relationship and I do that the only way he'd get to eat my burritos was if we were in a committed, monogamous situation.
I told him "I do want a serious relationship. I just don't necessarily want one with you. Doesn't mean I don't still want to bang you though or I wouldn't have offered you sex and burritos." Apparently, he did not get the memo that I had reevaluated the situation and decided that even though I thought he'd make a shitty boyfriend, I figured he'd make a good "special friend with whom I have interesting and intelligent conversations."
Anyway, so we made up and made plans for Monday night... which you probably already guessed if you read surprise Part 3 of last week's triple post extravaganza A Very Big Thank You to Ya'll from MSG2L!. So he came over Monday night and I made the food of my people since he'd never had Lebanese food before. I went all out and made a tabouleh inspired chopped salad, shish taouk (that's chicken kabobs for those who don't know), and some basmati rice.. and I almost burned my kitchen down in the process.. I would have if Mr. Dreamy hadn't saved the day with some baking soda.
He also brought the tickets for my friends, Cindy and William, who are going to the show with me... and he brought me wine.. which is the key to my heart.. and if I'd actually crushed that bottle, probably would've been the key to my burritos...
We had a nice conversation about his band and the show. This is when he tells me his band may be gearing up for this big tour where he'd be gone for like a year after next month.. which would expedite the burrito eating and put a time limit on it like he's never coming back ever. This seriously makes it look like this dude has planned out an exit strategy to our entire situation so he can basically hit it and quit it.. which is one of many things that has me reconsidering the burrito offer.
Anyway, he liked the dinner I made (cause my kitchen skills are epic) aside from the fire part.. which only happened because I actually do use my stove a lot. He couldn't stay for dessert though because he had to go work on something. So I walked him out to his car and we had this super movie romantical kiss in the rain that made me all swoony... I just had to point out the irony because when we first started talking he said all this cheesy sensitive stuff about wanting me to sit in the shower with him and think and it would be like shelter from a Spring rain and blah blah blah... It was actually that line that earned him the nickname Mr. Dreamy because I told my dude friends about it and that's what they started calling him.
When we were talking a couple weeks ago and he was working on songs with his band, I told him he should write a song about me and how awesome I am and include that shower shelter Spring rain shit and also a part about how I swallowed his kids like a pro.. and to make sure he puts my name in it cause I didn't want other chicks he's used that shower line shit on to think my song is about them. I want them to be like "Who the hell is Niki?" and be jealous of my awesomeness.
This song has the potential to be a platinum hit so feel free to steal it and then you can buy me a 7-Eleven. It would be like an updated version of Darling Nikki by Prince (which has me convinced that I must invent time travel and go back to the 80's and bang Prince at some point in the near future cause I'm pretty sure that song has to be about me since it's dead on) but slightly more cheesy and sensitive and spelled with one K because it's NIKI bitches. Get it right.
Anyway, that brings me to the warmup to the big show and Miss Slik and Cindy's Battle of the Bands...
The show I've been referring to is Dance Gavin Dance at Empire this Sunday, 4/26/15. There are 7 bands playing including Dance Gavin Dance (obviously), Hail the Sun, Polyphia, Stolas, Burn the Ballroom, Louder Than Quiet, and Inquiry. Just in case you missed it.. The names of each band are hyperlinked to their Facebook pages so I encourage you to go check them out, "Like" them, and listen to their music.
So, on Tuesday in preparation for the big post to come next week on this show, Cindy and I listened to music from all the bands playing. I have since coined the term "Bubblegum Screamo".. It's not meant as a diss.. Just a description. Apparently this has become a thing.
Now, no offense to any of the other bands because we ♡ you too.. But the band with the songs that we liked best is Louder Than Quiet. I told Mr. Dreamy during our conversation on Monday night that I was really excited about seeing these guys after reading the description on the event thing. They're an all African American Hardcore band from Baltimore... Let me repeat that shit... ALL AFRICAN AMERICAN HARDCORE METAL BAND.
That is so super rare it's basically like finding a leprechaun with a 15 inch cock riding a unicorn under a quadruple rainbow... because, let's face it, they call it "Angry white boy music" for a reason as there is a serious and sad lack of diversity in that subgenre of music. I really hope these guys can change that stereotype. They are what actually prompted Cindy's and my listening party because I wanted to listen to their music to see if they were any good... which they are.. So I told Cindy she had to hear them too.
I love this Red Gemini joint. It's like Boyz II Men then... Raaaaaaawwwwrrrr METAL! They have another video for their song called "Rude to Kill" and it seriously makes you want to skateboard and play guitar on speakers in a basement.
Anyway, I was texting with Mr. Dreamy and told him about it and said that of the bands we'd listened to so far that day Louder Than Quiet was our fave. He responded with "Hmm :(".. I actually wasn't including his band in that when I made the comment.. But even if I was that doesn't mean that we don't still ♡ his band and the other bands. They're all good bands. We're hardcore metal fans though. We can't help what we like.
Now Mr. Dreamy got all pissy and dumb after that and didn't send out the email he was supposed send to the guy at Empire about me covering the show to review it and getting my entry sorted out... Guess who got her own bitch ass on the guestlist? Damn right I did. All Mr. Dreamy did was get CCed on a damn email and bitch at me for being pushy while he's being generous. He even pulled some similar shit yesterday when I told him I wanted to get up separately with his other bandmates to ask them some questions for the article.. which I found out he hadn't even told them about yet after he'd known for weeks. It all came off like a giant jealous temper tantrum I'd expect from a whiny 3 year old who just can't stand not to be the center of attention.
But his reaction to us liking Louder Than Quiet definitely got Cindy and me thinking that maybe we should make this a little competition to see who gets to win the prize and should be crowned our super fave band of the show... which we are calling...
Miss Slik and Cindy's Battle of the Bands Beauty Pageant
Let's meet our lovely contestants shall we?
Inquiry
Louder Than Quiet
Burn the Ballroom
Gotta say these are all some pretty good looking dudes.
Now the other 4 bands playing that night have not gotten back to me yet to grant permission for me to interview them during the show. They still have time to get in on this should they choose... However, if they do not, then fuck them.
The contestants will be judged using a format similar to Miss America. Each band will receive a score of 1-10 in the following weighted categories:
Preliminary Competition
Swimsuit/Evening Wear - 25%
***Based on how they look in their Facebook pictures
Talent - 40%
***Based on music from YouTube and Soundcloud
Private Interview - 35%
Final Competition
Composite Score from Preliminary Round - 10%
Swimsuit - 15%
Evening Wear - 15%
Live Talent - 30%
Live Interview - 30%
The band with the highest score will be crowned Miss Slik and Cindy's Super Fave Band. We will also be giving special awards to individual members of each band for Most Congenial, Most Photogenic, and Who Gets Us The Drunkest (bear in mind the winner of this special award could be the one who pulls it out for their own band because the judges not only accept bribes, but wholeheartedly encourage them.)
The Preliminary Round began Tuesday and I must say that competition has been fierce. I've had some very lovely conversations with members from all 3 bands and they are not making it easy on the judges to pick a favorite. So far we do not have an overall winner but there are leaders in each category.
At this point Louder Than Quiet is ahead in the talent portion as you may have guessed. They've also done well in the personal interview as I'm now convinced their drummer Anthony is my long lost brother from another mother and he has become my new bestie. He has been a phenomenal emissary of his band and totally validated that gut feeling I had that these guys are just super dope. I really could go on all day about how much I like this band.
Burn the Ballroom is ahead in the Swimsuit/Evening Wear portion because Cindy and I believe that there could be endless debates by tweenyboppers worldwide over who is the hottest member. She is Team Alan all the way. I was Team Dreamy but based on the events of this week and performance during the preliminary round I have switched to Team Ginger Jack. He called me yesterday to chat the old fashioned way and has a very sexy phone voice. He has also invited Cindy and I to a show for his band he has with his brother called The Ivins whose music we really liked as well. They are not in this competition, but definitely merit a future post that is in the works. Alan and I have also been trading some hysterical messages about wine and whatnot that almost have me swayed to be Team Him. All this has definitely helped improve their personal interview score. Talentwise they are the most commercially appealing band of the 3 and their song "Crazy" is catchy as fuck.
As for Inquiry, they are leading in Personal Interview overall. They've presented a very united front as a band in the messages we've exchanged... like so much so that I must give them mad props for their PR. I honestly do believe everything I read about them on their website about being good friends making memories. I have nothing but good things to say about anyone who lets me get nostalgic about my childhood music memories. They are ideal, extremely congenial contestants who want world peace and to save the puppies. This band shows a lot of promise in the talent department as well so I'm excited to see them perform live. They may be the dark horse in this competition but they could definitely pull it out on the last leg.
It's really anyone's game at this point. Cindy and I are super thrilled and looking forward to meeting all of these guys in person and seeing them wreck shop at the show. As ya'll know I've been working hard on putting together a very in depth list of interview questions which looks like it may even merit a multi-part post to highlight each of these awesome bands and their answers to everything I'll be asking when I interview them Sunday.
In the meantime, ya'll should definitely go check these guys out and listen to their music.. Rock out.. Stay up.. Stay tuned.. and you may now begin placing your bets with the bookie on who you think the winner of Miss Slik and Cindy's Battle of the Bands Beauty Pageant will be.
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