Happy Monday Theme Songs: Super Fresh 2 CHAINZ, Twerkathon OH-13 - Twerking Trainwreck, and Wiz Khalifa!

Happy Monday My People! Good Lord! We have A LOT to get into so in the words of Kendrick Lamar, let's make like this is a swimming pool full of liquor and dive in...

First up is, as per the new usual, the 2 CHAINZ Song of the Day... I <3 me some super fresh 2 CHAINZ like no other and it really doesn't get any fresher than this song that was just released this morning. It's called Netflix featuring Fergie and it's crazy hot.

Next up is Twerkathon OH-13 and all I have to say is HOLY FREAKING GOD DID YOU SEE MILEY CYRUS ON THE MTV VMA's LAST NIGHT?!?!?! It was baaaaaaaadddddddd... not baaaaaadddd meaning good but like baaaaaddddd meaning a horrible hot mess trainwreck that will haunt my nightmares for months. 

Just in case you missed it.. Hold up! Wait a minute! I got you! (WARNING: It's so disturbing that even the Smith family couldn't hide the looks of horror on their faces. Someone should've jumped on stage and been like "Stop it Miley! Can't you see you're scaring the children?!")



usmagazine.com

Here is the video on YouTube:

But the best place to go is directly to MTV's website and watch it there:

We Can't Stop/Blurred Lines/Give It 2 U Medley - MTV VMA's Performance

While she was grinding on Robin Thicke I seriously threw up in my mouth a little. I also don't understand what was up with her hair or those giant plush mouse bear things strapped to her fly girls. For real, the only good thing about that entire performance was when 2 CHAINZ and Kendrick Lamar came out. Thank God for them. I'm just not sure how they could keep straight faces while Miley was over in the cut humping that foam finger.

For real, somebody needs to let that chick know she's about as ratchet as a doily at a D.A.R. tea party and that one stripper booty wiggle move of hers does not count as "twerking". You need to bend yo knees bitch! Bend yo knees and pop yo booty! What's even more disturbing is the number of youngin white girls out there right now emulating her as we speak. Girls, please I beg of you, don't go out like that. It's not a good look and NOBODY will think you're hot or sexy except for drunk frat boys who will try to date rape you. 

Let's draw a quick white girl comparison shall we?

Fergie - Fergalicious

• Knows how to pop her booty properly.
• She looks hot riding a stationary bike in leggings.
• This video is how I learned to do a 3-point stand.  

Miley Cyrus - We Can't Stop

• Does NOT know how to shake her booty properly.
• Does NOT look hot riding a stationary bike in leggings (Fergie biter!)
• Should NOT be teaching young girls how to do any sort of stands period nor doing them herself because it just doesn't look right. 

The reality is that even though Miley "can't stop" she should really try HARD to stop for the sake of all of us. This is an example of when keeping it real goes way wrong. Even Twerkaholics Anonymous couldn't help poor Miley. I believe she needs an exorcist... and also needs to go back home and practice in front of that mirror gurrrrlll! Practice until the ghost of Ludacris pops out of that mirror...

Now for those of you who are not as severely twerk-challenged as poor Miley, here are your songs to practice in front of your own mirrors at home. Let that girl be your measuring stick of how far you've probably come in the past week from a hot mess toward actually being able to drop it like its hot thanks to all these instructional videos and continued practice.

Anyway, songs...

Read a great article today by a guy named David Turner called How Twerking On Vine Sent Years-Old Rap Songs Up the iTunes Charts. I'm diggin a couple videos he linked in it.

Sage the Gemini feat. IamSu - Gas Pedal

Now he posted the original of Finatticz - Don't Drop That Thun Thun Thun which is good... But I found the remix with Tyga that is better.

And now for the more serious stuff... A mini-tribute to Wiz Khalifa. My boy Quincy whom you might know as Uncle Jesse got me to get back on Twitter the other day. I started following Wiz Khalifa and I like his vibe. He seems humble and I like that he's about his fans. Look...

This is my boy E-Dub's fave because he's a Steelers fan...

This one featuring The Weekend is my personal fave...

This song is my mantra...

I stumbled across this one today featuring Smoke DZA. My favorite line is "Put that iPhone down fool. Don't try to Instagram me. That's ho shit."

And finally, this song featuring Bow Wow and RoZe called Run (Tell 'Em Dat) is like the new theme song for my life. The hook goes:

"Looking in the mirror talking to myself.

You have control over you and not nobody else.

Look I got plenty haters. They talk behind my back.

But I just do this shit. Y'all run and tell em that."

Basically...

 

BOOM!