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Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Random Story of the Day: Making New Friends as an Adult

When you were a kid, making new friends seemed so easy. You had all these opportunities because you were constantly placed in environments predisposed for children to socialize with one another. Your parents would send you off to school and stick you in a room with like 20-30 other kids your age and task you with making new friends. Then when you came home in the afternoon, they would specifically ask you if you made friends with any of the kids at school.

If your parents had friends with kids of their own, those kids became your friends too whether you liked them or not. Every time your parents’ friends came over, they would bring their kids and throw them in a room or outside with you and say “Go play!”. You went to their houses after school for play dates. You were invited to their birthday parties. They were invited to yours.

Your parents would make you go outside to play with the other kids running around the neighborhood. Usually when you moved into a new house, there was even a period of time when the kids of the neighborhood would come up to your front door and knock on it specifically to meet you. They didn’t need to know you or your name. All they had to do was ask your parents if they had any kids, ask to meet said kids, and then as the kids all go running out they ask if it’s OK to go play.

It was so easy because commonalities weren’t difficult to find and your sense of humiliation was significantly lower or nonexistent back then. Generally it followed this script:

Kid 1: “Hi, I’m (insert name here). What’s your name?”
Kid 2: “I’m (insert name here).”
Kid 1: “What kind of stuff do you like?” or “Do you like (insert boys’ or girls’ stuff i.e. Barbies or G.I. Joe)?”
Kid 2: “Yeah! I just got the new (insert name of whatever kind of related toy).”
Kid 1: “AWESOME! Wanna go play (G.I. Joe’s or Barbies or the like) and be friends and stuff?”
Kid 2: “Sure!”

You and your new buddy would go scampering off and become BFF’s and it was just that simple…

But somewhere between childhood and adulthood, somehow for whatever reason, it got much more difficult. At 30 years old, if I walked up to another adult woman and was like “Hi, I’m Niki. Wanna go play Barbies and watch Jem and stuff?” she’d probably look at me like I was insane… or maybe not. Honestly, that still sounds like a fun afternoon to me and I can hardly wait for the day I have a daughter just so I have an excuse to do that type of stuff… probably much the same way men get excited about the prospect of having a son so they can play G.I. Joe’s and create an arsenal of all things Nerf.

I believe secretly all adults long for the moment it becomes socially acceptable to once again unleash our inner Toys R Us kids and go load up on Super Soakers and plan full scale water wars with assaults by both gun and balloon against each other and the noisy kids from the neighborhood that scream constantly while we’re trying to be hungover on the weekends. Unfortunately, at this point, that day doesn’t come until you have kids of your own.

The reason I’m going into all of this is because I’m actually in the process of making a new girlfriend at the moment. Recently, I’ve been doing a bit of a purge and ended friendships with 2 women I’ve known since I was about 14-15 years old because they were unhealthy, codependent friendships. Also, shortly after that, my friend Jeannie moved away to BFE and has no cell service so I can’t talk to her very often. Then my other friend Abby is busy being pregnant and dealing with some family stuff at the moment so her time is very limited. Basically, I’m sort of hurting for friends who are girls at the moment and have a couple open spots to fill. It’s just hard because a lot of women are catty, dumb, gossipy hookers. Finding one that isn’t is like hitting some weird proverbial lottery.

As I mentioned last week in Throwback Thursday Theme Songs in Loving Memory of Steve McGown, I attended my friend Steve’s viewing and funeral. The viewing was sort of a mini high school reunion and we all ended up in one of the rooms catching up and trading stories. As I walked into this room, a guy comes over to me and gives me a big hug and says he remembers me… and even remembered my name, which always makes me feel bad if I don’t remember theirs. It was my friend Paul whom I had not seen in probably 12-13 years. I then sat down on a couch and began catching up and the next thing I know this woman sits next to me and introduces herself as Paul’s Girlfriend Ranwa.

Any time you see your boyfriend or husband hugging and talking to a strange woman, you tend to introduce yourself ASAFP to said strange woman to find out who she is and make sure she knows you are the girlfriend or wife of that man. Once you’ve assessed the woman is not a potential threat then you relax and get to know her. However, if she is a potential threat, then the period of shade-throwing and fake polite conversation begins. Women are very territorial and as a single woman I’ve just come to expect it. I’m not exactly the homewrecking type and most women generally get that vibe off me so we never really have a problem.

After the viewing, everyone went out to dinner at a bar nearby. Ranwa and I were sitting near each other and started talking. Turns out she’s Lebanese like me, except 100% actually from Beirut where my grandfather’s family is also from, which sort of kicked off our conversation. She’s also about to graduate with her Master’s Degree and is looking for a new job in her field at the moment. I thought she was very smart, interesting, funny, and just the right amount of both reserved and off the wall.

She reminded me a lot of one of my other friends Andie whom I’ve known for a few years. I actually became friends with Andie because she tagged along with a couple friends who came over to my apartment after a jungle party one night for a little after party and was too drunk to drive home so she ended up crashing on my couch. In the morning I woke up and she was still there. I wanted to watch my Saturday morning cartoons so I was like “Do you like Sushi Pack and Qubo?” She said, “I’ve never seen it but sure!” I was like, “OK, you can stay and be my friend and stuff.” So easy.

Ranwa talked a lot about how much she enjoys cooking and got rave reviews from our entire table including from Steve’s mother as she had actually been making dinner for the McGowns all week. So I looked at her and asked “What day would be good for you? Cause I’m totally coming over for dinner.” She laughed and we ended up setting up dinner for tonight. As we were leaving, my friend Andrew said, “Well you sure hit it off with Paul’s girlfriend.” I was like “Yeah, I did. She’s cool.” I actually think he was a little jealous because he heard all the reviews about her cooking and maybe even knows how good she is first hand but just wasn’t on the ball about getting an invite to dinner for himself.

I’m ridiculously nervous and spastic right now because I like her and I want her to be my friend. I was probably a million times more nervous about texting her last night to confirm that we were still on for dinner than I ever get when I hit up dudes. It’s entirely possibly I retyped my text like at least 5 times just to make sure it didn’t sound stupid because we haven’t established our text rapport yet. I was super excited though when she texted back and said yes.

Now I get to go pick out a nice bottle of wine this evening for dinner and if you know me then you can picture me going buck in the wine aisle of the local Safeway as we speak. I’m telling you, making a new girlfriend as a woman follows an eerily similar process to what I’m sure dudes go through initially courting prospective girlfriends… except without the whole getting naked, putting out thing... But being grownup friends involves all kinds of effort and niceties that you now have to take care of that your parents used to do for you like dinners and bringing refreshments and confirming your play dates and whatnot.

Funny thing is I actually am supposed to have dinner later this week with another guy friend, one whom I’m interested in in a way that is not platonic, which came about sort of the same way my invitation for dinner tonight happened. While we were at the reception, we were talking about it and I said I wasn’t sure if this was actually a date. But since I’m the one driving this train I guess I can call it one if I want. Ranwa actually said, “It’s not a date if sex isn’t involved.” THAT’s when I knew she and I were totally meant to be friends. I also texted him yesterday because I forgot to give him my number the other night after he programmed his number into my phone... Pretty much retyped that text like twice and wasn’t even half as nervous. He still hasn’t responded yet. But at least now I have a friend to do recon and talk about it with who knows him and was there.

The moral of the story is: Assuming things go well, I actually still have one more spot left to fill so maybe if you invite me over for dinner then I’ll pick up some wine and come over and we can play Barbies and watch Jem and stuff.

Happy Twerked Out Tuesday Theme Songs!

Happy Tuesday My People! Pressed for time today so let's get in a quickie shall we?

First up, you know it! 2 CHAINZ Song of the Day! This is another one off the new album B.O.A.T.S. II: Me Time. It's actually a bonus track called Employee of the Month...


Next, some twerking videos I think are awesome by the same chick whose video I showed in a post a few weeks ago Happy Throwdowns and Throwbacks Thoroughly Twerked Out Thursday Theme Songs! with the chick twerking at Walmart...

She's twerking at the library with subtitles...


And Disney World will NEVER be the same...


Next, I can't believe I'm about to say this... But I like this song. It's called 23 by your girl the Twerking Trainwreck herself, Miley Cyrus, featuring Juicy J and Wiz Khalifa...


OK, now to watch people who know what they're doing... I played this song several weeks ago when we first started Twerkathon OH-13 in my post Happy HumP Day Theme Songs: 2 CHAINZ, Twerkathon OH-13, and More Fresh DnB  but today I found the video for it...

 

Also found this song I'm diggin... Never heard a dude say he'd Yike in it.. But I'm pretty sure I can guess what it means...


If you're a fan of The Wobble then here is another song by V.I.C. that's pretty hot called Twerk It... Sort of reminds me of the original version of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory with the words running across the screen as the Oompa Loompas sang.... What do you get when you shake your booty? Hopefully you don't look wack like Miley... I don't like the look of it.


Practice in front of that mirror girl! BOOM!

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Throwback Thursday Theme Songs in Loving Memory of Steve McGown

Sorry for having been MIA lately my people. It's been a rough few weeks to say the least. Unfortunately last week a friend of mine I've known for like half my life passed away. His name is Steve McGown. I guess I should say "was" but it honestly feels weird speaking of him in the past tense. I'd prefer to just think he's somewhere presently.

Anyway, we're breaking with the usual format today. No 2 CHAINZ or Twerkathon. Today's theme songs are dedicated in loving memory to Stephen M. McGown.


As you grow older, you lose touch with a lot of the people you grew up with. I seem to not just be losing touch, but actually just plain losing several people. I've been reeling honestly because death is becoming an all too commonplace thing in my life. This will be the 3rd funeral I'll have attended in the past year and like the 5th or 6th person who has passed in about the past year. Just sayin, NOBODY else is allowed to die for awhile.

Steve is unfortunately one of the people I lost touch with in the past several years. I met him when I was about 14 or 15 years old and he was part of the crew back in the day. He was a character and to know him was to love him. Steve had no filter. He was loud and obnoxious and supremely entertaining. He was also honest to a fault, loyal, and a good friend to the people lucky enough to be able to call him that.

I'm pretty sure he was there the day I lost my virginity looking over the wall of the pool equipment room with the other guys who were friends with the dude who deflowered me. He also is the person who made it possible for me to view something everyone should see at least once in their lives, the Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson sex tape.

I also remember he used to come pick me up from my parents' house and we'd go drive around. Limp Bizkit was bananas huge back then and Steve and I were fans. I actually think Steve was probably their biggest fan though. He got stuck on this song for months... 


And this song was another fave. While preparing for this blog post earlier today, listening to it made me lose it at my desk and I had to take a minute. I remember yelling "GET THE FUCK UP!" with him countless times...


Our friend Hippie who was also part of the crew made some suggestions for the songs today so shout out and thanks to him. He and Steve for BFF's and I totally <3 him like no other.

Let's get into some Pantera... This one is my personal fave...


Also...


And...


Steve was also a Gwar fan...


I love that Gwar covered this song by Alice Cooper...



And also this one by Kansas...


He was also into Guns N Roses... But then again who isn't?! This song is epic...


And this one is also epic...


This one is actually my favorite GnR song. Slash is the man...


And finally...



Rest in Peace Steve. You're already missed dude.

Friday, September 13, 2013

Happy Super Freak Friday the 13th Theme Songs.. 2 CHAINZ, Twerkathon OH-13, and Mad Trap Music!

Happy Friday the 13th My People! I don't know about you but I'm never phased or superstitious about Fridays that fall on the 13th because they tend to be lucky days for me. For real, it would take a lot for today to be worse than yesterday anyway... but we'll get into that later. Now time for theme songs..

So, I had a birthday about a week ago. I turned the dreaded dirty 30. I meant to do a post that day but I was way too depressed and also way too busy to write anything. Plus I've been dealing with some mad crazy drama drama drama which we will also get into later.

Anyway, to celebrate my belated birthday here is the 2 CHAINZ Song of the Day with Kanye West called Birthday Song... When I die bury me inside the jewelry store. All I want for my birthday is a well-endowed man who isn't a walking douchebag.  


And OH SCHNAP! Just cause I can... BONUS 2 CHAINZ Song of the Day! The new album B.O.A.T.S II: Me Time dropped on Tuesday, 9/10/13, so now all the tracks on it have hit the streets... and by streets I mean interwebz... and by interwebz I mean YouTube. Anyway, I've been DYING to hear this one song called Mainstream Ratchet and finally did this morning. I gotta say that I was disappointed. I don't like the beat for it at all. 2 CHAINZ where ever you are will you please let me remix this song and make it better?!?! I refuse to let it be wack. Here, you can listen to it for yourself and see what I'm talking about...


Next, it's time for today's installment of Twerkathon OH-13... I found this tutorial for all my Booty Bounce Beginners that I think is extremely helpful. This chick is Keaira LaShae and her dance series is pretty good if you're trying to learn not only how to twerk, wind up, body roll.. even dance in a club in a dress.


Here I got you yo.. Cause I just realized some of you might be going out tonight trying to dance in dresses and doing it improperly...


Now time to practice in front of that mirror gurrrrrlllll... Also in celebration of my belated birthday ya know I gotta get in some Uncle Luke...


Also some Kstylis...


Next I've been getting into more EDM based Trap pretty heavily lately. I actually opened my set at Transit with the other night and apparently people were really diggin it. Real quick shoutout to the Give Crew. Thanks again for having me through to play guys! It was good times and I can't wait to do it again!

Anyway, if you don't know much about Trap then you're living under a rock because it's EVERYWHERE right now. If you're a DJ then it's advisable to learn how to play it or you will cease to be relevant to a rack of kids. Here are some of the tracks I'm feelin at the moment to help you get acquainted...

This one is by Baauer's Remix of Rollup by Flosstradamus...


Also still kicking myself because I totally should've played Harlem Shake. Freaking LOVE this song... Totally lied in my post OH MAH GOD! I Fucking LOVE Major Lazer!!! because Harlem Shake is still totally my ringtone.


Also really diggin on some Bro Safari... This one is good. It's called Burn the Block...


And this one called The Drop...


Plus this RL Grime Salva of Mercy...


And this one too...


And finally this Flosstradamus remix of Major Lazer's remix of Original Don which I'm like 99.9% is a remix of a sample from an Old School UK Hardcore Breaks track from way back in the day...


BOOM!

Friday, August 30, 2013

Happy Super Freaky Friday Theme Songs!

Happy Friday My People! I don't know about you but I'm already in 3 Day Holiday Weekend Mode like whoa. It's hard to believe we've reached the end of Summer because I'm not ready to let it go yet. Anyway, we've got loads of stuff to get to today so let's make a dog burying a bone and dig in...

First up, the 2 CHAINZ Song of the Day! This is another track off the upcoming new album B.O.A.T.S. II: Me Time featuring Rick Ross and Future called My Cocaina...


Second is today's installment of Twerkathon OH-13. Seems like EVERYBODY has been having a giant laugh at poor Miley's expense along with us all week. In case you missed it, check out Happy Monday Theme Songs: Super Fresh 2 CHAINZ, Twerkathon OH-13 - Twerking Trainwreck, and Wiz Khalifa!  to see Miley's performance and whatnot. 

Anyway, this photo is courtesy of my Facebook friend Shaun and his status update this morning about a photo from an article in the New York Post. All I can say is WooOooOoooOoooW! GOOD LORD! I sincerely hope nobody takes this seriously because that is definitely NOT how to twerk like a pro.



New York Post


If you've been following along with our twerking tutorials at home or you are already a Twerking Veteran then you know just how wrong that is. The only step that's correct in there is Step 1 about the wide stance with your feet angled out... and half of Step 2 because, like I said the other day... You need to bend yo knees bitch! Bend yo knees and pop yo booty! 

And BTW, clearly this Gregory E. Miller dude is misinformed because popping your booty is not "old-fashioned". It is the foundation of booty bounce basics. If you can't do the plain booty pop then you'll never get the fancy, advanced shit down because all they are are variations of the original basic booty pop.

Today though, we're going to take a slightly different approach on the tutorials and get into some serious cultural dancing. Last week I mentioned in my post Happy HumP Day Theme Songs: 2 CHAINZ, Twerkathon OH-13, and More Fresh DnB that Nicki Minaj was rated by Fuse as the #1 celebrity twerker (NOT Miley Cyrus). If you're trying to learn some of Miss Minaj's dance moves then you have to understand the foundation for them.

Here is her video for Beez in the Trap featuring 2 CHAINZ. Pay especially close attention to her dancing during 2 CHAINZ part...

  

OK Class, today we are going to learn 2 of the moves she does: The Shimmy and The Vertical Figure 8. Believe it or not, those are belly dancing moves. Middle Eastern and African cultures have some overlap, particularly with styles of dance. They carried over into Dancehall Reggae as well because part of the "Wind-Up" are Figure 8's and isolations. Bet up until this moment you just thought "twerking" was nothing but some random shaking that required very little technique and had no foundation in legitimate dance huh? *Mind blown* 

As some of you know I'm a Euro-Arab mutt so belly dancing is a part of my Lebanese culture. I actually started learning how to do it last year as a fun workout. The series I learned from is also on YouTube by Belly Dance Boulevard. The username is BellyDanceB. Start with Lesson #1 because you definitely need a foundation. It is the basic movement from which all others follow and will teach you how to isolate your hips and booty from the rest of your body. ***THIS IS ESSENTIAL IF YOU WANT TO BE A GOOD TWERKER!!!


Hopefully you'll continue to Lesson #2 before continuing to Lesson #3 - The Shimmy. This folks, is where Miley went wrong. Unless you have a booty like the chicks in the rap videos, you can't afford to lock your knees because you can't sustain the amount of torque you need to wiggle your butt in a stance like that and make it look the way it's supposed to look. If you don't have a big booty or you just want to get more torque on your wiggles and wobbles, the best way to do that is "The Shimmy". I like this lady's approach about "waiting for the bus".  


Continue to Lesson #4 to learn Horizontal Figure 8's. Then Lesson #5 is Vertical Figure 8's...


It feels funny at first because you are going to move parts of your body you didn't even know you could move... But keep at it and you'll get it.

Now here are your songs to practice in front of that mirror gurrrrrllllll!! First one up is by OHBOYPRINCE....


I actually found it thanks to this video of a white girl twerking who puts Miley to shame...


And ya know we had to get some K-Stylis in...

And also NEW stuff... This is the latest single from Nelly featuring Nicki Minaj and Pharell and it is HOT... 


And because you should practice your wind-up... This is Freaks by French Montana also featuring Nicki Minaj...


And even more brand spankin NEW stuff... Found out the other day that the new Drake album Nothing Was The Same is set to be released on September 24th, 2013. Obviously I'm a HUGE fan of Young Money so I <3 me some Drake and I'm crazy excited about this album because I think the whole thing is going to be disgustingly sick and awesome.

Here are few tracks off of it...

This is my personal fave.. It's The Motion featuring Sampha


Next was the first single off the album that was released back in January when Drake announced he was working on this album... It's called Started From the Bottom and you've probably heard it a gazillion times...



Finally this song is called All Me and features Big Sean and 2 CHAINZ!


Hope this all got you in the mood to go buck for the next few days.... BOOM!


Thursday, August 29, 2013

Happy Throwdowns and Throwbacks Thoroughly Twerked Out Thursday Theme Songs!

Happy Friday Eve everybody! We've almost survived the week so YAY for us! Today is one gigantic installment of Twerkathon OH-13 because that's what I'm feeling. So I've thoroughly twerked this MoFo out with tons of new and old jams I dug up just for you. So, let's make like this is a bubble and get it poppin...

First up, you know it.. The 2 CHAINZ Song of the Day! I'm still waiting for more leaks from the new album. But in the meantime, here is Trampoline by Tinie Tempah featuring 2 CHAINZ! 


Now before we go any further, I have to tell you that today's theme songs were inspired by my bestie Jeannie and our Tuesday Night Twerkfest in her kitchen. The following videos are courtesy of her... All I have to say is your shopping excursions at Walmart will NEVER be the same...

Part One:

Wait! It gets better! Part 2:

If you follow me on My Twitter or you've "Liked" the Miss Slik's Guide Facebook Page then that should explain the posts from the other night. (Click those links if you don't FYI BTW because you should be following and "liking".)

Also, thanks to all the twerking videos we watched I found a couple more songs I'm diggin that are a little slower and great for practicing in front of that mirror gurrrrrlllll!!!



And also...


Now, Jeannie and I tore through Diplo's Sound Cloud Profile the other night because I was hellbent on finding the 2 tracks of his I liked that were playing in the background of the Instagram video submissions he posted. I did not find them. Somebody please let that man know he should post the names of the songs in the captions to make it easier because that should not be quite this difficult.

Also, while you're at it, tell him he needs to lay off the Perculator bubble pops because they are in a giant rack of his tracks... You just can't beat the original.


However, I did find the 2 CHAINZ Song of the Day and also these 2 songs I like...

The DMV's own Wale featuring Travis Porter - One Eyed Kitten


And also Travis Porter - Wobble

Just in case you haven't noticed yet, I have a minor obsession with Travis Porter. He doesn't know. If he did then the restraining order would be pending (just kidding).

Now, I would like to share something personal with y'all... My own story of how I became acquainted with booty bouncing...

For those who don't know, I'm originally from Tampa, Florida and lived there until I was almost 13. Down there they start school the 3rd week of August so they had a rule that you have to turn 5 by the end of August to start Kindergarten. Well, my birthday is September 5th so I missed that cut-off and my parents had to put me in a montessori school to get around it.

The student age range was Kindergarten up to like middle or high school and I always wanted to hang out with all the older kids. Every day they'd have the boom box blaring and they'd dance. I love to dance. So I tried to go dance with them and they told me I couldn't because I sucked. Well, never one to accept defeat, I went home and I practiced like it was my job. I even enlisted the help of the teenage girls who babysat me at the time. One day I came back and busted out my best Paula Abdul body roll and they were like "OH! Look at Niki!"

Hold up.. Gotta take it there...

I became their little mascot after that and I had never been so proud. That's the moment when you look over at the kids your own age who made fun of you for wearing hi-tops with twirly skirts and told you that you had to be Irma every time they played Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles just because you didn't have red hair and stick out your tongue and be all like "Suck it babies! Turtle Power THAT bitches!"

A few years later, I had to switch to public school because my parents couldn't afford to keep me in montessori school any longer. That's when I became a latchkey kid and I watched MTV like it was my job thanks to my babysitters getting me hooked on it. My parents never really censored me that much anyway so I pretty much watched whatever I wanted. One of my favorite shows was a dance show called The Grind. The Spring Break editions were how I got introduced to songs like this one...

 

One day I came home from school and turned on the TV. I must have ended up on The Box (cyber high five if you know about that). This video came on and shocked me...

Some of those chicks were wearing thongs and stuff and dancing in ways that they just did not show on the muh-F-ing Grind. It was over after that. I may have gotten in trouble for calling into The Box to request that song a few times.

Like I said I grew up in Florida so come Summertime all your old jeans become cut-off shorts. Mine became Daisy Dukes...


Also, of course I learned the Tootsee Roll...


And that's about when I got introduced to a man named Sir Mix-A-Lot and this song became my theme song. Bear in mind, while most girls were getting boobs, I was busy growing a booty... No lie... Here..



 I've had this mofo since I was 10 years old. Just took me some years to make the connection from the rap songs to real life and figure out why all the boys kept staring at it. True story.


And of course that is around the time I discovered my love of Uncle Luke. Last one is for Jeannie...

Don't stop get it get it... BOOM!